The Homopathic Proving
In the proving report below, (*) mark is used to refer to the natural disposition of the prover. Further details of which are mentioned under the section of "Disposition."
(§)Indicates CURATIVE ACTION.
NORMAL DISPOSITION OF THE PROVERS
BLATTA ORIENTALIS MATERIA MEDICA
MIND DREAMS NOSE RESPIRATION & COUGH EYES FEMALE GENITAL SYSTEM FEVER / GENERAL MOUTH FACE THROAT ABDOMEN & RECTUM/STOOLS SLEEP SKIN EXTREMITIES
MIASMATIC ANALYSIS OF THE REMEDY
Female, early twenties. Homeopathic Intern. Took only ONE DOSE orally on MARCH 1, 1995.
Interview 1 (9th March 1995- nine days after the dose):
I feel she has become more indifferent since the last 4-5 days. Her expressions have become less; usually in such situations, (*1) she would have expressed herself more violently & with more words. She has become numbed, does not want to give her opinion about anything happening to me or to herself or anyone around.
I feel she has become more tolerantmay be its numb.
She is neither angry nor patient; it's something in between without expression.
In such a situation, (*1) I would get angry- I will not look at her. I would say something bitter or harsh so as to hurt her. (refers to her close friendthe observer). For the first time I was very calm"numb" is the right word. I could feel turmoil but did not express. Usually will express clearly.
Feel I have become mild; otherwise would show my anger. I never suppress my anger.
ABDOMEN & STOOLS:
After 2-3 hours of taking the dose felt heaviness in the lower abdomen, accompanied by little flatulence. Felt my stomach was upsetuneasiness in the abdomen. Heaviness but no pain.
Next morning had to pass stools twice. Urge to stool recurring within 10-15 minutes of stooling. Sudden severe urge. Urge recurring in spite of having a satisfactory evacuation the first time, there was no sense of incomplete evacuation. 'Indigestion' sort of symptoms.
Had to pass stools twice on Day 2, 3, & 4 similarly.
Heaviness, eructations, & flatulence lasted till next day afternoon, and then subsided.
FEMALE GENITAL SYSTEM:
(Has taken the dose 6-7 days before menses).
Today is the third day of her menses; it began with some spotting on the first day & then having very watery menses as if 5-6 drops of blood are added in a glass full of water. Later after 3 days continued to have spotting for another 4-5 days (in all for eight days).
In spite of emotional disturbances menses did appear, though watery. [*1, *2]
No acne before periods. [*2] (§)
Since 3-4 days eruption along the dermatome on the abdomen- between the umbilicus & the xiphisternum with lots of itching. Eruptions as if bitten by mosquitoes. Eruptions on the right side of the abdomen.
Similar eruptions on the left index finger & the middle finger on the dorsal aspect, without itching.
Eruptions preceded by itching. Like urticarial patch, as after an ant-bite, dark red erythematous. Along the dermatome like herpes zoster.
Pain in both the ankles as of a band along an imaginary line joining the two maleoli anteriorly (could cover the painful area with two fingers).
Pain of a continuous steady character. Becomes aware of the pain if has to stand for a long time or if the ankles are moved. She noticed the pain when she woke up in the morning. (On 6th & 7th March '95)
Along with the pain in both the ankles also had pain in the tibia & fibula. Deep bony painsnot muscular; as after you have hit something or as if someone has beaten or as if after having walked for a long time.
Pain worse walking; moving the ankle; stretching the joint; climbing up the stairs; plantar flexion.
Interview (2) [21st March 1995; 21 days after the dose]:
I feel like dressing up. Want good clothes, want to buy good clothes. Asking parents and friends for good clothes" I don't have good clothes." If I see someone dressed up in good clothes, I feel jealous. Feel others have separate wardrobes, I don't have it, and I also don't have good clothes. [*3]
Saw her teacher dressed in good clothes felt " Even I must buy good clothes, wear good clothes. Even I must look good."
"Mildness" of the previous week gone, again able to express my anger & irritation.
She also behaves better. She has become more sober, more femininemore lady like. She wants to wear more feminine clothes"Churidaars." Wants to buy cotton saris- says she has plain clothes. Previously she would be wearing trousers. Previously she had to be pursued to wear a "Churidaar." Prior to the dose she never made comments on clothes, colors etc. Now she likes to wear them.
She would open my cupboard & search for nice dresses. Last week 3-4 times she said, " I don't have good dresses, let's go & buy them."
For the first time in so many years, she wants to look pretty [*5]. For the first time when someone told her she looks beautiful, she took the compliment nicely, that smile would come up, she would blush! " For the first time I noticed that blush- that sense of looking goodof being appreciated as a good looking person. Otherwise good looks was never a point for her."
" I went to my friend's houseshe had a separate study room for herself. I felt I don't have a room for myself. Even I must have one for myself." [*6]
"Saw a classmate coming to college in her car, I felt even I must own a car." [*7]
" I have started comparing with othersgood looks; car; room etc"
" They also must know that I am wearing good clothes. I am looking beautiful. Also want to grow my hair." [*8]
" I have become more "conscious"I am attend clinics, there are many patientsyou also must have some "personality"; you must wear good clothes, you should have a certain image. I have become image conscious."
"Now I feel I must have a sober personality, you must wear decent clothesgood clothes. You must have a certain image, certain status."
" She has now a fixed way she feels that now she has become a doctor so she must be in a particular wayshe must be a good looking personshe must be appreciated." [*3]
She must have a certain imagea sober personality like Dr.H.
Dr. H and Dr. S are people who are knownI have taken them as a symbol and I am unconsciously comparing myself with them.
I borrowed her (her friend's) dress for Dr.H's clinics so that I look goodshe must notice me. She must also feel such a personality is there in my clinic. I would feel happy if I am noticed. That would mean that I have something within me. I have some personality, some image. I feel I also must have some qualities; I also must have some image. She must notice me. She must say some words, like tell me to take a case or see some follow-ups etc. Such a thing would make me feel appreciated, somebody is noticing me. That means I also have some personality, image. Compared to her (i.e. Dr. H) I am also something. My status, my ego. Even I am more beautiful than her. (Dr. H is a good-looking woman otherwise.)
Similarly with Dr.She also must notice me.
Since the past weeks I would be saying "What drug she has given (Dr.H); see I will show you the rubrics. Even this drug could be prescribed. What prescription she is making its all her theory. It's difficult for normal people to understand those prescriptions. It's done just to impress students; they must come to our level & prescribe common remedies."
At other times, I would question her prescriptions. I would argue just with an intention that she must notice me.
Even in Dr.S clinic I would say"What he is prescribingit's a clear case of Argentumcome I will explain you."
Free association of Dr.H & Dr. S:Since the proving I feel as if they are my competitors. I feel a kind of professional jealousy. I want more recognition. I want them to say even this girl has something.
Benumbed feeling has disappeared since the last few days. I could not express myself last week.
Complexion has become clear, her usual acne on the face have disappeared.
Scars of the pimple have complete disappeared. She had big scars. She would usually have acnebig & pustular within one day. They would become red at night & next morning would have pus in it, which would then heal leaving behind a scar.
She looks more pink and fair. Everyone says she looks more beautiful.
Left nostril blocked at the root of the nose along with left sided throat congestion and pricking sensation in the morning.
By afternoon watering of nose only on the left side, later in the evening whitish discharge.
Next morning yellowish discharge associated with feverish feeling. Have postnasal discharge with pus-like taste in the mouth. Postnasal discharge only from left nostril. [*2]
Sore throat lasted only for a day, but postnasal discharge remained along with a blocked nose. [Modified dispositional symptom]
Breathlessness every night along with nose symptoms. Sensation as if a heavy weight is kept on the chest.
Worse: while talking; every night around 10:30 pm.; morning after waking lasting for 10-15 minutes.
Can't breath, feel heaviness on the sternum while talking. I can't finish a sentence. I feel my left side is blocked. I feel I am breathing from my trachea, not my lungs. Constricted feeling at the sternum every night, since the last 3 days.
Feel short of breath. My lungs are not expanding enough. Shortness of breath lasting for 10-15 minutes and disappears spontaneously. Shortness of breath felt around 10:30 pm but not during sleep.
Desire for pastries since the last two weeks, especially would go to the market place to buy them. At least two occasions in the past two weeks. [*2].
Since 5-6 days hot flushes with a sensation as if hot vapors or heat is coming out of the body. They would come suddenly, last for 5-10 minutes. Two or three episodes during a day. More so worse at night, before going to sleep.
Heat is predominantly felt above the abdomen.
Last night had fever. Felt hot from within, wanted to uncover, wanted clothes to be off. Desired fan, which ameliorated. Open air ameliorates. Want lots of air. [*2] [Reappeared old symptom]
Since 2-3 days she has so much of hot flushing that if you sit next to her, the radiation of heat is suffocating. Even if I touch her, I feel she has fever. After the dose, she has become a "hot patient." On entering the room, the first thing she would do is switch on the fan. [Prior to the proving, she was chilly, and she would switch off the fan].
Skin eruptions, which had appeared during the first week, lasted for 5-6 days. The itching was pleasant and got better on scratching. It was worse on waking in the morning. As the eruptions go better, the itch was the first to fade out and then the erythema gradually disappeared leaving behind a blackish mark.
This week new eruptions on the margin of the lower jaw, on both sides. Began with a burning sensation & a sore feeling, followed by itching. Streaks of redness as after scratching. On scratching skin became rough.
No more ankle pains.
Interview (3): (March 25, 1995. Twenty five days after the dose):
During the past two weeks felt Dr. S & Dr.H were prescribing foolishly, made me feel angry. Felt they must ask me. I wanted to establish my identity.
Desire for good clothes reducing. Mind is stable.
By 21 March 95: Postnasal discharge had stopped.
22 March 95: Blocking of right nostril with burning in the throat. Watering of nose and blocking of the root of the nose. By evening yellowish discharge from the nose with headache and severe burning in both eyes. Sinses painful associated with fever.
EYES:(22 March 95)
Along with nose symptoms severe burning in both the eyes. Burning dull aching pain while reading, riding, draft of air etc. Involvement of both the eyes started together and complaint lasted for only one night. Completely better by next afternoon.
Boil on the right side of the occiput behind the ear without discharge with slight occasional itching. Painful on hard pressure & combing hair.
Lots of perspiration around the neck.
No more craving for pastries.
No more hot flushes.
Only heat. Heat in the abdomen, above it, in the palms, soles, & face. Intense hot feeling and congestion. Very hot to touchpalms, soles & upper arms.
Wanted open air, better from fan nearby. Better cold bath, uncovering. Flu-like symptoms. [*2]
Weakness, felt like lying down, better after sleep.
No more symptoms appeared after 3rd April 1995, and all existing symptoms disappeared by then.
Male, early twenties. Homeopathic intern. Took only one dose orally.
Sexually excited quite suddenly in the evening had taken a single dose. Sudden urge to have sex with girlfriend. Suddenly began to talk vulgar things to his girlfriend, even she was surprised by my behavior. Emphatically told girlfriend to have sex then followed by praying for forgiveness. Said " I know you will leave me & feel this man is terrible & will torture me. Then again followed by a sudden sexual urge with a feeling as if already had sex.
My image of myself was bad (dirty) having no control over my sexual desire. Felt like being an animalvery low, vulgar, cheap & dirty. Especially when one has sex before marriage. Feel attracted towards women and feel as I have already have had sex with her, then followed by remorse. I condemn myself and feel bad.
Morbid sexual attraction, dread it. I shouldn't feel this way, the sense of guilt afterwards is very bad. I am afraid to date my girlfriendfeel would do something terrible to her ( in a sexual way).
I am scared while talking to a girl. I feel as if I am having an erection, followed by a feeling as I have already ejaculated & had sex with her. This is followed by a terrible sense of guilt. Sensation in the urethral region, as if already ejaculated.
Talking sexual fantasies with my girlfriend. I was not wanting to say such a thing, I was loosing control over my thoughts. Talking these things will make a bad impression of myself.
Feel as if something bad in me or someone inside me, on which I do not have control.
Talking about sexual fantasies in a crude way.
There is a kind of alteration between vulgar sexual talking & guilt, remorse. I would talk about my sexual feelings very intensely, desperately & violently. This antagonism leaves me thoroughly confused.
I feel I must control myself & have no right to feel sexually attracted. Because of self-condemnation I don't masturbate. I decided never to feel sexually excited. I suppress my sexual desire because of my sense of guilt. [*1]
Feel I have become quite "cool" about many things. My reactions are "cool." I am "cool" & "indifferent." If patients don't come to me I am quite "cool." [*6]
DREAMS:Confusing, leaving me disturbed.
SLEEP:Waking up feeling heavy and unrefreshed.
This week no attraction towards women. Normal desire to masturbate absent ( not suppressed as during the previous week). Sexual desire completely absent this week and does not bother me at all. (Previously if did not masturbate would be pretty worried and felt abnormal).
I have developed a lot of "coldness" in my attitude towards others. Indifference, I am not reacting'cold' attitude.
Usually if mother would scold me I would react, but this week amazingly cool attitude. Cold attitude.
Normally if someone irritates me I get easily worked up. My girlfriend was nagging me but I was more patient, usually would get easily worked up.
Girlfriend finds me indifferent.
Yesterday, girlfriend felt hurt & was weeping, but I wasn't reacting. I said this is her state.
Girlfriend finds me "cold" on a date.
I don't feel myself emotionally the same. I don't find the same kin of joy in things.
I hurt my sister, said 'sorry' but it was not emotional. Even she could feel it to be quite artificial. Finding myself not quite emotionally interested in it.
I find myself very controlled, my emotions are very controlled, not showing a lot of emotions. Even if I am showing a slight emotionI am expecting a lot of reaction about it. Emotions are dulled.
On date felt I am not reacting.
Everything I want to do is on time. Things are falling order. Life is very systematic, I wanted it to be that way. Went on a date but felt would finish this date on time & go and take more cases.
Previously had a lot of time for girlfriend but now meet her only for a fixed time in the day.
Last night reached home late & I expected my father to scold me. This time I was prepared to take this coolly, understand him like a "big homeopath"understand his state of being. Felt it is normal for him to react in this way, I would not get angry and react to it. [*2]
Now I am taking things in a cool, sophisticated way. Find myself very sophisticated, everything is happening the way I want it to. I am doing things systematically. I am utilizing time very well, find it satisfying.
Today in the hospital too two cases which were from my private clinic. I knew two patients were coming for me today, usually if I were to receive even a single patient, I would be anticipating, anxious and panicky, but today I took one case myself and got a junior to take another. Handled both cases to the best of my ability without any usual panic.
If in a case there is no improvement I get very upset, but now taking things in a cool way, more patient. Usually I am very anxious as to what will happen, feel nervous.
I am setting up my practice, I feel I am misusing my relations in an artificial waygave my visiting cards. I feel "cold"- felt I am using my mother, my sister to get practice. I should not be doing this. Distributing my cards was appearing like a self-advertisement & felt I am using people. Feel I am not genuine. There was no need to tell my mother to refer me patients, she would have anyway done itit's cheap & not genuine. It's wrong to do that but that's the trick of the trade. [*4]
Usually very anxious to receive my girlfriend's telephone. Yesterday I treated it like a casual call, not caring at all. [*3]
Felt no anxiety regarding girlfriend when she wanted to play holi, said it's okay. [*5]
In the morning, there was a yellow coating on the tongue. On spitting yellow-green matter came out. It was on the whole tongue with a different taste. On spitting the whole coating goes away. It's dirty and you want to wash it off. Sputum is dirty yellow.
This symptom lasted the whole week.
Feel normal and back to my anxious self.
No coating on the tongue anymore.
I use to feel like a "corporate executive" who is said to have no feelings, no feelings for family, everything happens systematically. Felt very sophisticated. Hardly and emotions on the face. Everything going on in a "contract-like" manner.
Female, early twenties. Homeopathic intern. Took one dose on the 15th March 1995.
Interview (1): [ March 18th, 1995- three days after the dose]
Find myself getting very irritated. When I returned home from work and my parents say something casually, something that is no provocativeI get horribly irritated and angry. Irritation would last for 5-10 minutes and then feel bad and say "This is no way to behave." They have not said anything to offend mejust a casual query as to what I did during the day and I would get irritated. Getting irritated for no rhyme or reason. Irritated especially when I return home after work. I get so irritated that I can feel it in my head, intense irritation.
Irritated "Why are they asking me anything, leave me alone. What will they get after knowing it. Don't want to answer. Leave me alone." [*1]
Got irritated with my sister, as she keeps complaining that she is not well. Very bugged, very irritated with her complaining nature. Told my parents it's useless talking to her. I am not going to talk to her. Did not phone her for the next two days. Then called her up at 11:30 p.m. as I felt bad about myself. [*1]
Last evening when I returned home I refused to talk to her (sister) saying"Leave me alone, I have just come back." Irritated when someone asks me something. Irritated when someone simply tries to talk to mefeel like saying " leave me alone, what's your problem? Why would you want to know something? Irritation as if head would burst.
I feel so mean of myselfmy mom is trying to be so nice to me and I just answer back to the point (abrupt, curt, & short). I answer in such a way that the opposite person will feel discouraged to ask me something more, they would feel "leave her alone." When the irritation passes off I will approach them and talk to them.
May be there is something to which I must react, but I don't find myself reactingI think I am not feeling anything.
Not bothered about what I wear. Least bothered, I just wear whatever comes in my hand. Just don't care. Not bothered to buy a new outfit. (§) [*3]
1.Dreams of many cakes and pastries. There are so many of cakes and pastries that I don't understand which one to choose. They seem delicious and I was waiting there to buy it, but couldn't make up my mind as to which one to buy. The sales man there would crush and throw away those pastries, which did not seem good.
On waking felt I could have bought anyone of them, why did I take so much time to decide.
Free association: In the dream I was very much fascinated by the cakes and pastries. Usually like to eat cakes and pastries, but never dream about them.
2.Visiting a shopping arcade, may be to buy some dresses, but did not buy any.
Next night after the dose developed a short cough with irritation in the throat. Irritation as if ticking in the throat. Tickling in the throat in such that if a similar feeling was on my skin, I would feel like rubbing it off. Cough with a desire to clear out the throat.
Next morning, burning in the right nostril, coryza from the right nostril more than from the left. This is accompanied by sneezing. Coryza lasted for only 5-10 minutes, but throat irritation persisted throughout the day.
On fourth day, along with the burning in the right nostril have burning in the right eye. The burning in the eyes comes up suddenly and has to close her eyes, which makes her feel a little better, but the burning continues. Burning lasted throughout the morning, lessened towards afternoon.
Burning in the right eyes was better washing with tap water; worse in the sun, could not go out in the sun, had to close her eyes.
No desire to cakes & dhoklas. Instead a desire to eat something "natural"fruits. I feel I must have a whole meal, instead of snack-like items.
Preferred to eat grapes instead of cakes. Had lot of grapes & pineapples. Feel good after eating fruits.
All food seemed very oily and not good. [*5]
I think I have become hot thermally, than usual. Kept the fan on. Desired fan especially during the episode of sneezing. Want fast fan.
(Usually don't need fan and has to cover up herself with a blanket even after cold season is over).
On waking the next morning felt I have not slept properly. Had lots of dreams but unremembered. [*2]
Interview 2: [March 27, 1995; 12 days after the dose]
Again sneezing with tickling or irritation in the nose. Some funny sensation in the nose. Started spontaneously and not associated with cough and burning in the eyes. Frequent sneezing in the evening.
It's horrible to be in the sunjust can't open my eyes. I have put on my glares. Can't tolerate the glare of the sun, it's too much. It's not the heat of the sun that is troubling.
Improper, can't sleep at night. Can't get up in the morning, want to sleep during the day. Wake up in the between. If has to wake up at 8:00 a.m. would be wide awake at 7:00 a.m. then go off to sleep and can't wake up. Sleepy by day, sleepless at night. Very sleepy in the morning. At night dead tired but can't fall asleep easily. Sleep during the day. [*2]
Thirstyhaving much more water, about half to one-fourth glass at a time. Took water before going to bed, also woke up at night to drink water. [*4]
Desire for fruitsany kind of fruitsoranges, grapes etc.
Can't eat oily food, though not averse to it. I ate a little then couldn't take more. Find it heavy and oily.
I am using more fan, may be the weather is more warm, but cover as usual.
Interview 3: [21 days after the dose]
No more irritability or anger.
Last week felt, I could say "numbed", now the feeling is less, but still there. So many things happening but I don't feel anything.
While listening to music not feeling anything. Not feeling sad if I heard a sad song or saw something sad. [*7]
To some extend I felt good, that I am not feeling anything. May be something that would have hurt me is not hurting me. Wanted to remain like thatnot feeling bad or sad.
Don't feel like talking to anyone. Not spoken on the phone since three weeks, even now don't feel like talking. I have not spoken to a friend of mine for the past three weeks or more. [*3]
If I have something which I have to do, I have to complete is immediately. I can't sit & be in peace till it not over (since past two weeks). It's not that I have no time and I have to do it now, but want to go & "finish off" with it, don't want to leave something hanging. I don't feel like sitting and lazing till that thing is not over. [*6]
I felt she did not feel anything. Usually you could make out from her face whether she is happy or sad about anything.
Last week my mother fell down, I saw her falling while I was seated in my car. I went towards her but did not feel anything towards her. [*9]
Though I asked her if she wanted some medicineI did not feel anything. Don't feel anything. Indifferent to people I usually care for. I now don't ask my parents how they feel.
Lost my gold earring, was not botheredlaughing!
Floaters in front of my eyes more than usual. Not comfortable with her usual contact lens. Photophobia reduced.
Cough has returned. Irritation in the throat must cough to clear it. only one or two bouts of cough. Very short dry cough.
Thirst more at night, especially before going to bed. Drink a lot of water.
Feel very hunger at 11:30 a.m.- 12:00 noon. It's happening since the entire two weeks, but I noticed it today. Very hungry want to eat something. I have to eat. Last week brought something to eat while traveling back home. Ate a little then did not want to eat. When I reached home it was not that I really wanted to eat. Ate a little and the feeling passed off. Feeling of hunger passes off with 20-30 minutes.
I can feel the hunger in my stomach, as if my stomach is totally empty and I must eat something. [*11]
Sleep disturbed. Sleep late only after 6:00 a.m.- 6:30 a.m. do I sleep properly. Get up with difficulty. Sleep well in the early hour of he morning. Wake up in between during my sleep.
Female. Early twenties. Homeopathic intern. Took two doses of the remedy from 18th March 1995.
Interview (1): [April 4, 1995, 15 days after the dose]:
Felt inspired by Dr. S and Dr. H. Felt I must be like them. They have got all this from their efforts, hence I also started studying. Wanted to become famous like them. People must appreciate me, like them. Everyone praises those two teachers, till now never met anyone who says I don't like these two teachers. I also feel all students must praise me, my patients must praise me.
I want to be a good human being like them, I want to behave like them. Especially the way they talk to their patients. since yesterday telling everyone at home how they talk to the patients. They talk in such a way that the patient gets impressed by you. They show so much concern to the patients. They get so much praise. All students and patients must remember me, want them to praise me.
In whichever field you are, you must excel in it. Everyone must praise you and know you. You must do something so that people know you, otherwise what's the use of your life. I don't like to be an average worker. [*1]
Now I study a lot and don't feel that I must do household work.
Dreamt that I had lot of stiffness of the left index metacarpophalangeal joint, I can't move it. I had to come to the hospital to consult a doctor (i.e. Dr. H) [ This is the hospital in which she works daily]. But here this hospital, which is otherwise very small looks like a sophisticated place. There are vegetable sellers outside. Then a car enters the campus and a woman whom people call Dr.H comes out. I was sad that this lady is not Dr. H.
Acne on the malar region since 2-3 days. Started as small pustules.
Next morning of seeing the dream woke up with a stiff left metacarpophalangeal joint of the index finger. Slightly painful. Could not move the joint on account of stiffness. Lasted for half an hour.
Since past two weeks very uneasy feeling in the sleep, have to wake up several times between 3 am to 4 am. Wakes up after every one hour changes positions here and there. Moves from the sofa to the floor.
Feel suffocated with covers on my body. Woke up 3 am and changed positions in sleep. After 3 am every hour would sit up and sleep. Sleep sound up to 3 am.
Along with suffocation I feel chilly also. I want to cover myself but then threw the covers away. I wish to switch off the fan on account of chilliness.
I feel cold because of the fan, want to cover myself but then feel suffocated and want to throw off the covers. [*2] [Started 2 days after the dose]
Female. Early twenties. Homeopathic intern. Took a single dose during her menses.
Talked very harshly to my mother. Had to leave for work, so that previous night had asked her mother to serve breakfast early. Her mother woke up at 7:00 am and again slept at 7:30 am. to this the prover said " There is no way you should sleep once you have got up." Felt she was very harsh to her mother but her reaction was apt for the situation. Her mother replied " You need not eat and go, if you wish to go early." She (the prover) started to weep, as such a reaction was not expected from the mother. Her father commented that she was very harsh in talking to her mother.
I felt irritated with patients, wanted to say "Just shut up; why are you boring us with so much of your personal matter." Felt very irritated.
Became very sentimental and emotional and wept from emotions.(§) Especially from excessive admiration and adoration for some of her teachers. Friends had to tell her to have limit for her adoration.
I am the only daughter and when I was born my father was unhappy. He said " The first thing I will have to do is to look for dowry." While saying this she becomes emotional and weeps.
She usually never cries in front of anyone.(§) Only cries if she is badly hurt.
1.Helping out someone. (§) [*2]
2.Asking Dr.S (one of the teacher whom she admires) a query, which he refused to answer. Then another student in the O.P.D asks him a question and he replies very nicely to her.
FEMALE GENITAL SYSTEM:
Menses more profuse than usual, but lasted for same number of days as usual.
Felt good, energetic and excitable in spite of headache with menses. [*3].
NORMAL DISPOSITION OF THE PROVERS
(*1) : Her close friend ( the observer during the proving) is getting married in near future. She says (the prover) " I cannot accept her husband, cannot accept the fact that she is getting married and she would go out of my life. During this time her (observer's ) husband had come over. She ( the prover) felt left out, lonely, and insecure. She felt that her friend is not paying attention to her, has forgotten her and is fooling her. In such a situation she would get very angrywill not look at her friend or would tend to say something bitter, harsh so as to hurt.
She is very possessive of her friend. If she likes someone she goes to extremesforgets all other relations & friends and continues to remain with this one relation. When this one person moves away from her life she realizes that there is no one left with her. Then she has no one left with her. Then she has no one with whom she could spend time.
During these few days when her friend's husband was there she was disturbeddepressed, lost sleep, lost appetite and had not enthusiasm to work. Whenever she feels depressed she puts on fast music. She felt neglected and felt she is making a fool of herself by doing so much for the person who is not going to be with her anymore.
(*2): Past History: 3-4 years ago was as follows:
(i)Severe hot flushes; had to wet her clothes. Had to lie on marble floor; wanted to be fanned from near. Flushes 1-2 days before menses better as flow appears.
(iii)Nausea, irritability, desires to weep stop eating or will feel excessively hungry. Vague symptoms (erratic) precede 2-3 days before menses.
These premenstrual symptoms would appear 2-3 days before menses. At times they would appear even if menses did not appear.
She had received Secale and Sabina for the above symptoms. Also received some hormonal treatment. After these treatment the following modifications took place:
(i)Menses appeared regularly and lasted for 3-5 days.
(ii)No more heat flushes or other of the above symptoms.
(iii)Had become chilly thermally.
(i)Menses were never regular. They would last anywhere from one day to 7-8 days. At times not appear at all.
(ii)If menses did not appear then the next cycle would be profuse.
Present menstrual pattern before the proving:
Menses regular since past one to one & half year. Lasting for 3-5 days.
Whenever emotionally upset then get amenorrhea, if at all there is a flow in such a situation it's a mere spotting for a day. Later after 15 days would have a normal flow and the next cycle would be profuse.
Sore throat at least once a month before, during, or after menses. This complaint of throat affection appeared after treatment with Secale, Sabina, and hormones. The symptoms of this 'sore throat' would be: A sudden block of the left nostril with severe pricking in the throat. It begins in the morning by afternoon the nose would water and by evening she is feverish, has follicles on the tonsils. Can't talk , can't eat , voice will change and be hoarse. Nose would be stuffed. Sinuses would be painful. During this symptoms she would hate warm drinks, crave for ice-cold drinks which would ameliorate. Warm drinks would worsen her complaints. Left nostril may not be well-defined every time, then the nose symptoms would go to the right side. Next day would have thick discharge and then would have fever.
Fever would be in the form of heat only. Fever would last for two days and the 'sore throat' for 3-4 days.
Observations made during the proving:
(i)Compared to every month her throat affection is less severe. Usually it is like a big infection and she can't talk or eat due to the pain. During the proving no loss of voice, nor loss of appetite occurred. Intensity of the sore throat was not even 50% of what she usually gets.
(ii)Duration of sore throat was only one day during the proving, whereas normally it would last for 4-5 days.
(iii)More commonly she would get sore throat and nose complaints before her periods, this time during the proving she had it 2-3 days after her periods.
(iv)As the throat complaint associated with the menses got better the old complain of hot flushes reappeared.
(*3) Usually she is never fussy about her clothes, anything would do. Usually love to wear trousers and had to be pursued to wear a "Churidaar."
Usually she would always argue s to why a doctor cannot wear a trouser. Why can't doctors have short hair? Just because you are a doctor you must not change yourself, one must wear what she likes."
(*4) Usually she is more boyishrough. Making facial expressions while talking etc.
(*5) Observer's comments:
So many years I have known her, she in facts hates if someone said she looked beautiful. She did not like the compliment and she would make faces if she got it!
(*6) Usually never thinks in such a way.
(*7) I never asked for such things ever before.
(*8) Never had such a desire before. Also compare (*5) & (*4).
(*9) Dr. S and Dr. H.I feel are the one's who know the core of homeopathy, they know the art of prescribing. They are sort of an inspiration for me. They are were also like me initially, even we can become like them if we put some efforts. We can reach their levels too.
(*10) Usually like pastries, but never has she specially gone out to buy one.
(*1) Our relationship ( relationship with girlfriend) is stable and both of us would not go to the extent of having sex. We both are sensible in this matter. We want a longer relationship.
I have committed myself to my girlfriend that I would not flirt with another womanit's my conscience which is strong. I basically believe in having relationship with one person. Guilt is normal for me, but loss of control over the attraction is abnormal for me. I am never governed by my sexual impulse, I am on my guard. I am very strong about it.
I feel according to me a relation between a potential couple who wants to work up to marriage is that they must maintain a 'safe' distance and not have sex before marriage. I believe in the holiness of marriage. Intercourse is not a trivial matter.
Never lose control over my sexual desire. I never flirt with another woman. Even if anyone flirts with my woman I get very bugged. I am very strong about sexual exploitation of women.
(*2) Normally if someone scolds me when I return home I get very irritated, this time prepared for the reaction. Previously never thought of not reacting.
(*3) Very anxious about the time when my girlfriend should phone me. If she has promised to call up at 6:00 pm. then even if she is late by sometime I get very anxious. Because of this nature my girlfriend would make it a point to call up before time.
(*4) Usually never seek to use people, believe in being genuine as I am. Even if a person is an acquaintance, I don't act as if I am a close friend. I will not exaggerate anything. It is my disposition to talk politely to everyonethat's why people feel I am artificial. I like being polite with peopleit gives me a great satisfaction, this is because of my convent education, we are very strongly taught to be polite.
(*5) I am very anxious that someone will misbehave with my girlfriend. My feeling are very strong about anyone who misbehaves with women or any other female. Especially towards any female I am attached toit may be my sister also.
Once a man banged against my girlfriendknowingly or unknowingly, I don't knowI almost hit him.
Normally I am violent, at times when angry feel like taking a rifle and shooting people in the street. Girlfriend says if I was not in constructive work, I could have been an "A" level terrorist.
Usually mistrustful of males towards my women. I am very fixed that such a thing will happen (sexual assault), fantasize and create such a situation. At times threatened a guy who I felt is not good, to cut him- kill him.
(*6) Normally if someone irritates me, I get easily angry. My girlfriend was nagging me but I was more patient, usually would get easily worked up.
(*1) Usually would get irritated only when someone purposely tries to provoke mefor e.g. my brother pulling my leg, my parents teasing me etc. Never on a casual question.
Also I talk with my sister everyday. She is a complaining kind and I would keep consoling her. She usually keeps crying on my shoulders and I am always for her. Never get irritated with her.
(*2) Normally when tired fall asleep easily and sleeps through the night.
(*3) Usually very meticulous about dressing.
(*4) Usually very little water, only sips at meal time.
(*5) Usually like snacksfried , oily and rich food. Also love cakes.
(*6) Not usual for her.
(*7) Usually sensitive to musicmoods change in accordance with music.
(*8) This friend of her is someone to whom she talks to daily for half an hour or 45 minutes.
(*9) Usually if anything small happens to my mother I get very anxious. I can't see anything happening to my parents.
(*10) Usually don't need the fanI am more chilly.
(*11) Not usual for her.
(*1) Desire to be better than average is her dispositional feature.
(*2) Where ever she goes she participates in activities so people must know her.
(*3) During summer wants fan.
(*1) I can usually poke anyone anytime. But usually not harsh with mother.
(*2) Usually would not go out of my way to help people or even if they came in my way don't know what would be my reaction. I can feel sympathetic towards silly things, but may not feel sympathetic to very severe things. My end organ, people say are insensiblefor e.g. if an old lady is traveling in the bus I would offer her a seat, but if I hear about death of someone's child I would be so insensitive that my mother says at least now show some reaction! My reactions are weird and vague. If someone dies I don't feel anythingmy grandfather expired but I did not feel anything, though I cried for half an hour!
If you give me a rude look its enough to make me cry, but very severe things like death, I can put a show to cry. Even in movies if I see something bad I cry.
(*3) Usually during menses feel bad, before menses always anxious as it does not come on time. Don't like to mix with peopledon't like to talk, feel dirtyit's a basic feeling with menses.
Headache over eyebrowheaviness lasting for whole day. Heaviness as if sinusitis worse conversation, usually don't like people telling their stories. Little better by tea.
BLATTA ORIENTALIS MATERIA MEDICA
BenumbedIndifference to the extent of being unfeeling. Numbed not feeling the usual anxiety. Coldness of attitude- DETACHED. Lack of usual irritability. Emotions dulled. No emotional reactions. Objective- detached. Taking things in a "cool" sophisticated manner. Very systematic, organized. Hardly any emotions on the face. Dealing with things in a contract- like manner like a corporate executive.
No feelings for family or loved ones. Not feeling anything while listening to music- numbed. Want of sensitivity. Unaffected by sad stories or occurrences. Want of sensitivity or unsympathetic towards suffering of loved ones.
Rude and harsh towards family member ( mother).
Laughing on losing a valuable jewelry, not bothered.
Desire for finerygood clothes. Desire to look good.
Jealous- comparing her possessions with those of her friends. Envious of their possessions.
Desire for appreciation, approbation & praise.
Desirous of having an impressive personality & status. A strong desire to be noticed. Need to establish one's identity, need for recognition.
Contemptuous and envious of people generally venerated ( Plat) or whom she admires. Competing with people whom she venerated, desire to be at par with them and be noticed or appreciated.
Contrary behaviour in order to be noticed.
Idolized & admired people of social status.
Industrious & ambitious.
Sudden sexual excitement with vulgar talking followed by sense of remorse or guilt. Feels one's self dirty of having no control over his sexual desire. Felt himself like an animal- very low and vulgar, cheap. Morbid sexual desire with a sensation as if already had sex & a sensation in urethral region of having ejaculated.
Self condemnation alternating with sexual excitement & lewd talking. Afraid of losing control over one's sexual impulse. Lewd talking. "As if there is someone bad inside me over whom I have no control." Sexual excitement violent & desperate. Suppresses one's sexual desire out of a sense of guilt. "Feel I have no right to feel sexually attracted."
Feels himself to be cheap and not doing the right thing by using his relations to market himself in a "cold" way.
Horrible irritation. Irritation felt in the head. Irritation without sufficient cause. Irritability on being questioned. Wants to left alone. Aversion to answer. Irritation as if head would burst. Answers abrupt, curtly in a way to discourage other person from asking her anything. Taciturn, aversion to being talked to.
Can't leave anything pending, must finish it off.
1.The teacher whom she admires refuses to answer question, but replies nicely to someone else's question.
2.Stiffness of left index metacarpophalangeal joint, can't move it. She goes to the hospital to consult her teacher, who she admires but the hospital seems changed to a large sophisticated medical center and there are people selling vegetables.
3.Confusing and leaving him disturbed.
4.Of many cakes and pastries.
Blocked at the root of the left nostril associated with left sided throat congestion. Pricking sensation in the left nostril. Postnasal discharge only from the left nostril having a pus-like taste. Yellowish discharge from the nose with severe burning in both the eyes (cf: Eyes) & headache. Blocking of right nostril. Cough & throat irritation followed by burning in the right nostril associated with sneezing. Tickling in the nose with sneezing. Frequent sneezing in the evening. Episode of sneezing with desire for fan.
Sinuses painful with fever.
Breathlessness every night associated with nose symptoms. Sensation as if a heavy weight on the chest. < talking, night (10.30pm)-but not during sleep; morning after waking for 10-15 minutes. Can't finish a sentence due to breathlessness. Feels as if breathing from her trachea & not from her lungs. Constricted feeling at the sternum every night. Short of breath as if lungs are not expanding enough.
Short dry cough.
Eyes symptoms associated with nose symptoms. Severe burning in both eyes. Dull aching pain & burning < riding, draft of air. Burning in the right eye with burning in the right nostril, comes up suddenly; must close her eyes with relieves a little, better washing with tap water; worse in sunhad to close her eyes in sun (photophobia). Burning in the eyes begins suddenly and simultaneously in both eyes. Burning from morning to afternoon.
Horrible photophobia, intolerant of the glare (not the heat) of the sun, must close hereyes.
Floater in front of the eyes. Uncomfortable with contact lens.
FEMALE GENITAL SYSTEM:
Before menses feels herself dirty. Aversion to company and aversion to talking or mixing with people.
Headache before menses. Headache over eyebrows, as if sinusitis < conversation and slightly > by tea.
Headache during menses.
Menses watery as if few drops of blood put in water. Menses prolonged. Menses delayed.
Left nostril blocked at the root of the nose with throat affection < morning. Nasal discharge watery and then whitish.
Postnasal discharge with pus-like taste and only from left side. Yellowish discharge.
Pustular acne before menses.
FEVER / GENERAL:
Fever with heat only.
Heat flushes coming suddenly lasting for 5-10 minutes, < night, before going to sleep. Heat above the abdominal region. Desire to uncover and undress. Desire for fan (from near) with > open air. Desire for fast moving fan. Air hunger. So much, heat that the radiating heat is suffocating to the person sitting next to her. Heat > cold bath & uncovering.
Palms, soles, upper limb hot to touch (objective heat).
Desire for fan during the episode of sneezing.
Weakness with desire to lie down > after sleep.
Suffocation with chilliness- wants to cover, but threw covers away as feels suffocated. Aversion to fan on account of chilliness.
Perspiration around neck.
Yellow dirty coating on the tongue, feels like washing it off. Sputum dirty yellow.
Acne pustular & inflamed, leaving scars before menses.
Tickling in the throat with a desire to rub it off with cough. Cough with desire to clear the throat.
ABDOMEN & RECTUM/STOOLS:
Heaviness, lower abdomen with flatulence, but no pain.
Urge for stool sudden & severe. Urge for stool recurs within minutes of passing a satisfactory stool.
Restless, changing places between 3 a.m.- 4 a.m.
Disturbed. Could sleep well only after 6.00 am- 6.30 am. Interrupted sleep. Waking difficult in the morning. Sleepy by day , sleepless at night. Though tired can't fall asleep. Unrefreshed feeling on waking.
Dream of being fascinated by cakes & pastries
FOOD: HUNGER, CRAVINGS, AVERSION, SENSITIVITIES:
Desire for pastries. Dream of being fascinated by cakes & pastries.
Desire for something 'natural'fruits (any kind).
Desire for wholesome food.
Intolerant of oily rich food.
Thirst increasedwakes up at night to drink water. Thirst at night before retiring to bed.
Hunger feels as if stomach is totally emptyfeels must eat something. Hunger sensation of , at 11.30 am- 12 noon. Hunger passes off in 20-30 minutes. Hunger passes of eating little (small) quantity.
Eruptions with itching along the dermatome ( like as in herpes zoster) between umbilicus & xiphisternum. Eruptions on the right side of the abdomen as if bitten by mosquitoes. Eruptions on the left index and middle finger on the dorsal surface. Eruptions preceded by itching. Eruption like urticariaas if after an ant bite; dark red erythematous. Itching pleasant and > after scratching; < waking morning. Eruptions along the margin of the mandible, streaks of redness as after scratching. Eruptions preceded by burning & soreness followed by itching.
Boil right occiput without discharge and with slight itching < hard pressure & combing
Pain along a band joining the two malleoli. Deep bony painsas if hit by something or as if beaten or as after having walked for long (trauma-like pain). Pain worse walking; moving the ankle; stretching the joint; climbing up the stairs; plantar flexion. Stiff left metacarpophalangeal joint of the index finger, could not move the finger on account of itpreceded by a dream of having the same complaint (cf: Dreams section)
MIASMATIC ANALYSIS OF THE REMEDY:
This aspect of the remedies is hardly talked off clearly. My study of the classical Hahnemannian concept & observation of miasm prompts me to bring forth this discussion with a crystal clear clarity. Hence I make this attempt for this remedy:
Each section is carefully analyzed for the miasmatic expressions & is presented below. The next step then is to clearly understand the central/dominant miasm of the remedy.
The central feeling of this remedy, of course, is of very low self-worth as one can see from expressions like dirty, self-condemnation etc. due to which one needs recognition & needs to be noticed. This need is met through putting up a façade of arrogance & pride. Also it is attempted through greed for finery & social status. The positive aspect is through being ambitious & industrious which a way to cope with ones low self worth. This is an obvious Sycosis.
Further, we see Numbness, indifference and want of sympathy for loved ones or family members. The perversion of the fundamental affection & sensitivity is an expression of Syphilis.
Some Psoric expressions in the form of extreme irritability & abrupt curt answers is also observed.
One must remember that the remedy has received a rather short proving, more data is awaited, hence this understanding is rather tentative. What is today classified as Syphilis & Psoric may change tomorrow. The sycotic aspect comes up fully & clearly.
Hence for the moment for me the central miasm(s) of the remedy at the mental plane are Sycosis & Syphilis.
The chief sites of action at the physical level of the remedy are:
1.Upper respiratory tract-- mucosa.
2.Eyesthe deeper structures.
4.Female genital systemthe hormonal control.
UPPER RESPIRATORY TRACT:
The symptoms of sneezing, sinusitis, hyper-responsive airways indicates a type I hypersensitive response. This along with the peculiar pus-like discharge, which is in fact a general of the remedy plus the night aggravation, indicates an active Pseudo-psora (also called tubercular miasm), i.e. a compounded activity of Psora & Syphilis. (cf: Chronic miasms: J.H.Allen's & Comparisons of chronic miasms: Phyllis Speight)
Eruptions like urticaria or insect bite (ant bite) or herpes zoster-like all these fall once again under the activity of Pseudo-psora. (cf: J.H.Allen & Speight)
The mention of a boil with very scanty discharge is Psoric activity. Should it have been full of pus even of a moderate quantity it would have indicated a definite work of Pseudo-psora (don't forgetthe proving is incomplete!!)
Appearance of floaters or muscae volitantes indicates involvement of the vitreous of the eyes. This indicates a syphilitic activity.
FEMALE GENITAL TRACT:
The heat flushes with desire for fan and cold bath are a classic of Pseudo-psora again.
Emptiness is a key feature of Psora. Also passing away of hunger after eating a little is a Psoric indication.
The deep bony pains as if by a trauma to the joint clearly talks of a Syphilitic activity.
The stiffness which not very clearly defined for the moment can be understood as Sycosis.
Now, from the above study of the particular regions & the mind one is clearly able to see the red strand of the Syphilitic miasm. In several regions, it works along side with the Psora. So for the moment the remedy is governed predominantly by Syphilis either alone or in combination with Psora.
Sycosis seems to have a small but a significant activity at the level of mind & joints.
This understanding as we can see falls in line with the miasmatic activity of all insect remedies, viz. Apis, Formica, Vespa crabroall of which have a strong Syphilitic activity and even Pseudo-psoric activity.
Pseudo-psora in Apis is seen in Urticaria like hypersensitivity reaction after a bee-sting. In fact J.H. Allen's study of Pseudo-psora says that sensitivity to insect bites- e.g. bugs, mosquitoes & bees belongs to Pseudo-psora. Of course, that doesnot go to say that Apis does not have sycotic activity.
Vespa has suppurative pathology which again indicates Pseudo-psoric activity.
Formica has a deep syphilitic & sycotic pathology.
One thing is therefore definite : Syphilis predominates.