LSD Materia Medica

The toxicological evidence brought out some mind symptoms that were less strongly expressed in the proving. This was most evident at the extremes of the remedy's action. For the sake of a balanced picture a few symptoms have been included below. They are clearly identified and have been abstracted from the apendix where they can be seen in a more complete form.

Sacred, Love

I still feel very detached from people. I went for an evening walk on my own, passed a holy well. I had a coin that the children had been playing with earlier. I threw it into the well - I wished for the ability to be a healer and for the well-being of my patients. I wished for happiness. I had a strong feeling of spiritual attachment.
01P 32 XX.XX NS

Meditation: In blackness of space. I feel the vastness of space, see the stars. Look back and see the earth. Feel expansion and limitless. I look at the earth, but space feels my home. Feel light. Try to put myself back to earth - cannot, I'm too light. My gravity is lighter, don't belong there. Moving through space, past planets and spheres. See the sun, fiery. I hear the roar of its energy, see the golden yellow.
02P 01 15.30 NS

Emotionally heavy, still have this ache inside as if a part of me is crying out, but I don't know how to feed this ache. Went into Meditation and resolved this feeling. The coming together of the myself and my inner masculine side, bound by the Principle of Love. An inner, spiritual union that is eternal and unbreakable. Feel relaxed within myself, all the anxiety has come to the surface and been released.
02P 14 XX.XX NS

I'm moving along a path of light that weaves gently into infinity.
05P 01 20.30 NS

Reconnected with love, my cells are filled with love, I am love, I live love, I serve love.
05P 28 XX.XX NS

The most beautiful golden orb in my solar plexus where previously there had been deadness.
05P 30 XX.XX NS

Last two nights been doing lots of Tai Chi and meditation, desire to connect to the planet and cosmos.
06P 08 XX.XX NS

Meditation - was standing on edge of earth, space before me, wondered how the earth is called flat when it looks round, but felt at peace with space before me and green earth next to me. Thought I'd return home, and someone would tell me my dad had died.
08P 02 10.30 NS

During the initial meditation I had an energy rush to heart and solar plexus, emotional, almost weepy - this passed - very hot, face perspiring - then tranquility.
09P 01 15.30 NS

Looking up, I saw an overpoweringly large dome of rainbow criss-crossing and enveloping us. From the middle of the field, a silver chord leading into the eternal nightsky.
Toxicology

I felt as if the universe had been passed into the neurons of my brain and engraved in my gentics. Preconscious cellular processes were now understood to me.
Toxicology

James told the cops that he didn't care what they did to him because he was God and he created everything. And he kept yelling that he had figured 'IT' out and that he was the smartest man alive.
Toxicology

It felt like my mind was so expanded I could understand anything in an instant. It was the perfect trip. We did everything: traveled to new worlds, met mother nature personally, talked to her trees and rocks and mountains. Practiced telepathy.
Toxicology

I was dying. I saw Einstein as he arrived in heaven. He asked God what the answer to life was, and God said 'YES'.
Toxicology

I had traveled back to the primordial, undifferentiated oneness of being that preceded the big bang and the creation of the manifest universe. There was nothing to see or interact with; I had penetrated a level prior to any sort of subject/object distinctions. The universe was all one thing, and I was it!
Toxicology

Suddenly, history made sense. A process which could only be viewed in its entirety, and with the help of LSD, I knew the conclusion. I was wondering why I was "given" this information, and realized it is locked in each of us, waiting for release. So that is what happened to Jesus and Buddha, they released it. I felt like Christ myself, despite an extremely secular personality on a day-to-day basis. I felt like I had a message to give to all mankind, and I couldn't believe I was the one who had been "chosen" to do it, of course I forgot this message by the time the trip was over.
Toxicology

I felt I was the whole of the universe clawing its way out of darkness and madness toward a divine radiance and sense of health and salvation. It seemed I had turned my soul – which was also the soul of the universe – away from drowning in a river of fragments of human consciousness toward something that I could only call the genuinely Divine. The ego-dissolution continued now, but peacefully. Whatever parts of me left were replaced by that Divinity. Visions of joyously dissolving into the sun and the sky accomanied the experience – and there was an unutterable feeling of the infinite and the sacred. I encountered the stream of human consciousness again, but this time I looked on it with what I felt to be the love of God. It was beautiful, touching, precious beyond all description.
Toxicology

He landed himself in an endlessly visionary, but predominantly peaceful, psychosis in which he many times surrendered to and encountered God, and was repeatedly picked apart by demons of 'every color under the sun'.
Toxicology

Peace

Feeling very calm - sense of well-being and confidence. Lethargic - don't want to work, can't focus attention.
01P 03 10.00 NS

Feeling of peace and tranquillity. Relaxed.
02P 01 19.00 NS

Feel intensely peaceful, secure and happy - (more serene than my normal happiness) - not related to anything in particular.
03P 01 16.30 NS

Friends coming around - don't feel like being sociable - don't mind them being there just don't feel like communicating. Feel very peaceful and self contained/inward - but that feels just fine.
03P 01 19.00 NS

Nothing bothers me. Feel very relaxed.
03P 02 XX.XX NS

Feel a bit irritated by things people doing like flicking a pen - with any noises that interrupt the peace.
03P 03 XX.XX NS

Feeling very loved and supported by friends, family and partner - blissful.
03P 19 XX.XX NS

Feel really able to just listen and hear what my friends are saying without judgement without loosing my centre in any way.
05P 01 20.00 NS

Still relatively calm, tranquil, happy and light.
05P 21 XX.XX NS

Social boundaries were good even though drunk, didn't flirt with girlfriends of friends. Also a bit unusual for me. I was more aware of it than usual, peace and friendship more important.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

Very calm, centred, relaxed, willing to take my time over things, not being pressured by customers at work.
08P 04 XX.XX NS

Feel well, tranquil and level headed - interested in talking to customers, I just feel like I'm flowing. I like myself like this.
08P 28 XX.XX NS

Connection

I had a sense of the group as a spiral. We did a group sculpture and I saw the group as having a central core of energy with a tail (like a comet) - a feeling of insight.
01P 02 14.00 NS

Conversation with my wife. She says of me that I am more tolerant, I am more perky, I am coping with change better. She says that I am handling the transition between work and family life much more smoothly than usual.
01P 07 XX.XX NS

I am enjoying talking - a real energy for conversation. I asked a market researcher into the house who asked me loads of questions about maps - I was much more enthusiastic than she was. I have an increased energy for life.
01P 07 XX.XX NS

I bumped into the husband of my former partner. I haven't seen him or her for 5 years, and I carry some unresolved anger/sadness about the ending of the relationship. I felt happy to have seen him, as if something had been resolved by doing so. I felt 'I'm OK you're OK, the world's OK'.
01P 08 XX.XX NS

Feeling of confidence in conversation with people. Feel tuned in to a higher level of communication. Feel more at ease with my body. I feel confident in my nonverbal communication. I feel like I'm standing more upright, prouder.
01P 12 XX.XX NS

Went for a walk with some of the group - unusual as I normally need to go off on my own.
02P 02 13.00 NS

Sense of belonging and community with the group today, felt really at ease with them, much more than usual. Don't feel so independent and self contained.
02P 02 15.00 NS

Felt as the weekend came to and end, as if I had been on a sort of retreat, felt as if I'd been part of a community, and the end of the course was like having to go back into the outside world.
02P 03 XX.XX NS

Changed to intense calmness after few minutes - image of having arrived at centre of earth.
03P 01 15.30 NS

Missing the rest of the group - want to be with people but not to interact, just to be in a group with people I know.
03P 02 19.00 NS

Don't feel like hugging friends as normally do - I feel self contained and happy in my own space - this feels OK.
03P 03 XX.XX NS

I feel very calm and unemotional taking everything in my stride removed from myself, removed from outcomes.
05P 01 20.30 NS

I lie on my back and the sensation of energy in my palms is back they are perfectly filled.
05P 01 20.30 NS

I see images of trophies, a golden person with thick bracelets. When I get up I feel a gentle band of pressure just below my elbows on my forearm.
05P 01 20.30 NS

There is a sensation in my hands as if holding something warm, egg sized, that fits the shape of my hand perfectly, I'm very aware of the chakras in my hands.
05P 04 15.30 NS

I speak to a friend, on the phone. I feel completely centred, not swayed by anything that she says, very clear about my own feelings and thoughts. Have none of my usual sense of 'have I said the right thing', self doubt.
05P 04 21.30 NS

All I want to think about is the other provers.
05P 07 XX.XX NS

Loving the freedom of being able to share myself and my joy. Really loving my partner, wanting to be affectionate with him and be happy with him. Really loving a friend and the joy of who he is.
05P 19 XX.XX NS

Sense of individuality, not isolation, not scary, feels OK. Desire to chat and have social interaction.
06P 01 20.00 NS

Strong desire to do my meditation over the last 2 weeks. Desire to connect to collectivity of oneness of people, not just social chat and interaction.
06P 09 XX.XX NS

The sun is shining. What a beautiful day. Joy back into my life.
06P 17 XX.XX NS

Driving home cried my eyes out about my best friend and my father. I love them both. Dad's birthday soon, cried when I wrote out his 60th birthdayday card, bought him a present. CD player and a collection of 16 classic CDs, don't think I've ever really bought him anything before, feel terrible when I consider how much he's done for me. Feel powerful, full of love.
06P 23 XX.XX NS

Did some school work this morning. Felt I could concentrate, but only on the essence - not on finding rubrics or anything like that. That was far too structured. I wanted/needed something more abstract!
07P 07 XX.XX NS

Felt very self-righteous about my feelings and faults - and said so to my not so ex. That I was proud of myself - and my past and my faults.
07P 11 XX.XX NS

We went to pub, very noisy, content to people watch. Still a sense of calmness. Wanted some space, be alone. Really looking at people's faces. Friends partner said I was an angel (I don't know him).
08P 01 22.00 NS

Spoke to a friend on the 'phone, she said I sounded happy and I haven't for a while. More able to chat and talk to people without observing myself (which is what I normally do) and giving myself grief. Feel more confident, likeable, interesting.
08P 04 XX.XX NS

It is good to be alone, I've written a letter I'd been meaning to write for 2 months, I tidied up and sent the kangaroo to my brother, I'd been meaning to get round to it for a year.
08P 05 XX.XX NS

I'm especially enjoying female company more than men's at the moment. I feel extra relaxed with them. Like they understand me.
08P 23 XX.XX NS

Truth

I was outspoken with my partner - thoughts I'd normally keep to myself were expressed. I told her she seemed lost, and that I was irritated by this. I didn't feel guilty about it or feel the need to apologize.
01P 04 XX.XX NS

Feeling of truth. Feeling of fearlessness. I want to be alone and this is OK.
01P 10 XX.XX NS

Heightened feeling of honesty in expression. Fearless in relationships. I go to a group once fortnightly and I was really forthright tonight - very confident in my observations and comments. Being able to say things I normally wouldn't. A feeling that thoughts which I may well suppress must now be expressed.
01P 11 XX.XX NS

Still feeling quite open with people, confident in communication. I feel congruent. A feeling that my outward expression matches my internal self - honesty in communication.
01P 11 XX.XX NS

Feeling of objective detachment. I must say what I am feeling even if it hurts others. I talked with my wife about our relationship, thinking she may be hurt by my observations. On the contrary she is quite pleased by my honesty.
01P 15 XX.XX NS

More forthright with people, more able to be me.
02P 17 XX.XX NS

Feeling like my truth is readily available, speaking what is true saying it like it is, with no affectations.
05P 01 20.00 NS

Thinking about other people very evenly, knowing that people do like me. This feels very grounded in truth. I have no concern that it could be any other way. I have a trust in human reactions towards me and me towards them.
05P 02 08.00 NS

I feel as if I have lightened up a lot. On the phone to a friend I feel very open, truthful and unmoved by anything she says (i.e. I stay centred). I feel as if my communication skills have evolved/improved now that I'm not afraid of truth, mine or hers, anybody's. I don't seem to have an 'agenda' I ask for things to be repeated if I don't understand, feel fine saying 'I don't know' where as before the proving I might have felt uncomfortable about it.
05P 05 XX.XX NS

Feel as if I'm noticing my short comings, not having a big process, just noticing my annoying habits. I feel adrift with the proving and myself, this time feels so disconnected from me and the rest of my life, yet not so too. I feel this proving is about seeing truth, big and small.
05P 11 XX.XX NS

I realize now that I'm in a constant state of criticism and evaluation of myself- everything- others, it's almost as if a mirror is being reflected inside. Look at this obstacle and this. Aspects of self limitation that are obstacles to the initial state of centeredness. It's like my ego is a wall or a cell membrane with various gaps and carriers- the truth flows through as best it can. Some things carry it more freely than others. I want to cry my wall away. I'm seeing myself for what I am, warts and beauty spots. It hurts.
05P 12 XX.XX NS

On talking to another prover I realize how healing it has been to be nearly pregnant and be honest about it and about potential abortion. I feel an old hurt has been healed, a time when in my late teens I had an abortion and felt that I had to keep it totally secret, partly because of my catholic step-father.
05P 29 XX.XX NS

When I woke it was with the determination that I would tell husband that I was not prepared any longer to put up with his attitude to me.
09P 28 01.30 NS

Merging, Merging of Senses, Merging with Music

Feeling that my family is part of the connection I have with my fellow provers. Often I feel the transition between homoeopathic weekends and family life a difficult one to negotiate. No such issues tonight.
01P 03 XX.XX NS

Feeling that my son was me, in a miniature form. I was talking to Sam and it just seemed that I was talking to a smaller, younger version of me. This felt beautiful.
01P 12 XX.XX NS

I am attracted to clouds. Listening to "angel" by Robbie Williams on radio - as if splashes of bright colours coming out of clouds in time to the musical rhythm.
02P 01 15.30 NS

Look at lecturer whilst she talks. Her words become vibration and colour coming out of her mouth. My reality feels different. Her voice strikes me very acutely, as if she is her voice. Noises and voices are acute. The people in the class are their voices - this is what I see and feel, not their form.
02P 02 15.00 NS

Whilst doing house work, felt trembly and light headed - faint. When hoovering the stairs it was as if I could see right into the pile of the carpet and see all the dust and hair that I couldn't hoover up - weird! When I reached the bottom of the stairs, another hot flush!
02P 07 14.30 NS

Sensation of intense vibration through whole body and surroundings with image of fast movement - rushing down through the magma of the earth with accompanied rumbling sound.
03P 01 15.30 NS

Image of amethyst shape surrounded by jade green light coming towards me and enveloping me - felt like the energy of the remedy coming in.
03P 01 15.30 NS

I see images of a coal shaft deep in the earth, I can hear the rhythmic thumping of what I imagine is the air vent.
05P 01 15.30 NS

I am not bogged down by cares and concerns at all. I find so much pleasure in looking at things. I absolutely love doing this proving. Have done some work today, feeling more focused although I spend a lot of my work tome looking out the window. 05P 07 XX.XX NS

At home later such sympathy for sad stories on the news (horrible news) murder and kidnapping.
06P 25 XX.XX NS

Beautiful rosy grey cloud - really have to keep myself on driving, rather than looking at it - being absorbed into it.
07P 01 18.00 NS

Then I started to taste the colors. It didn't taste like chocolate or cheese, but it was a 5th taste. Like the four are Salt, Sour, Bitter, and Sweet; well Color was a fifth taste, really creamy and smooth. I mostly tasted Red, Green, and Purple.
Toxicology

It was a doorway into places I am certain I dreamt about in my childhood, crystal dimensions, where I could taste colors and touch sounds and smells with my hands from the very first trip on.
Toxicology

Nature, Animals

I enjoyed walking - I went out for 30 minutes up to a hill, everything was beautiful and tranquil. I could have walked for ages.
01P 02 12.00 NS

I just want to go on a retreat or something - somewhere to be with my spirit, with no necessity to connect with people, and no responsibilities. I made the decision not to go to the college today (Sunday). My wife and children are down in Cornwall and I am going to join them. I feel like I'm skiving off work - free from pressure and responsibility. I stopped on Dartmoor on the way down, and walked to one of the Tors. The top was blanketed in snow. It felt beautiful and I knew that this was what I needed to do - not sit in a classroom all day being reflective. I felt in touch with my spirit again.
01P 31 XX.XX NS

Notice flocks of birds, their movements, patterns and numbers. Feel high, as if my cares have all receded.
02P 01 17.30 NS

Nature feels very close to me - enhanced connection with it. Particularly noticed the birds - ravens, crows and pheasants.
02P 02 07.30 NS

Desire to be outside walking and to connect with Nature especially attuned to the energy from the trees and flocks of birds.
02P 02 15.00 NS

Felt strong magical connection with Nature.
02P 03 XX.XX NS

Again, I had to go out for a walk with the dogs - very strong pull to go out. Had to run whilst out. On way back from walk, found a young stray dog, who followed us home.
02P 12 XX.XX NS

Still really noticing clouds, and the colours and shapes of nature - fascinated by the shapes of trees.
03P 03 17.00 NS

Flocks of crows keep swooping over the town. Lots of them in the garden this morning - keep imagining a crow looking at me with one eye then with other.
03P 04 XX.XX NS

Woke up feeling like a cat! Woke up in a position as if I was a cat stretched out in the sun, and could almost feel my tail and ears! - strong sensation of being feline. Then realized I was rubbing eyes with the back of my wrist like a cat cleaning herself - really strong impression which lasted about 5 minutes.
03P 07 XX.XX NS

Feeling very attracted to the form of trees.
05P 03 10.00 NS

I pay a lot of attention to flocks of birds that fly in front of me on the lanes. There are far more than usual.
05P 03 18.00 NS

I can't stop thinking about animals. Can't focus, think about hunting birds.
05P 06 XX.XX NS

My hands feel pleasantly full, and I'm thinking of animals mouths.
05P 10 XX.XX NS

I still have much increased synchronicity. Today I was walking, going to collect moss to make an altar for the circle dancing. I was intending to make a nest as it is spring. Before I had been walking even ten minutes I found a birds nest on the ground fallen out of a tree. I was filled with tears, felt completely taken care of by the goddess.
05P 42 XX.XX NS

Leaving school a kestrel lands on hedge right outside (3 yards away), go into parking lot and find a buzzard feather. Notice flocks of birds while driving along - their patterns - beautiful moving forms.
07P 01 17.00 NS

Noticing flocks of birds (starlings?) - Just want to sit and watch - their movement is like waves - very beautiful.
07P 12 XX.XX NS

Noticing flocks of birds - in amazement.
07P 23 XX.XX NS

Went for a walk alone in school garden, amazing, the snowdrops are out. Felt like I was drifting around, content and happy, my attention captured by plants. My focus on each flower intensified, isolated. I laughed at the chickens and ducks. I feel very tired but like I could go off and wander again.
08P 02 13.30 NS

Owl hooting sounds a joy. Beautiful sound.
08P 10 XX.XX NS

Saw pheasant by road and sent prayer for protection of all animals. Saw no dead animals on the road this time.
09P 29 XX.XX NS

Driving home - saw dead fox - its face in clear view, looked peacefully sleeping, no mangled remains in sight. Later saw dead badger - back view - again could have been asleep - no blood.
09P 66 XX.XX NS

Timelessness

Loss of sense of time.
01P 01 15.30 NS

Senses more acute - jumped at a door being opened in kitchen, voices seem louder, more defined.
02P 02 10.00 NS

Time feels like it's slowed down - I keep expecting it to be hours later in the day than it is.
03P 19 XX.XX NS

Things feel very slow. I feel impassive about things and my thoughts aren't much beyond the moment.
05P 02 10.00 NS

When I think about what to wear I think of a jumper that I had over 15 years ago and wish I still had it.
05P 06 XX.XX NS

I have confusion about days of the week and where in the month we are.
05P 14 XX.XX NS

Sense of time seems altered.
07P 04 XX.XX NS

Life seems to have become very busy! Sense of time muddled - as is what day is. I am a day ahead of myself.
07P 06 XX.XX NS

No real sense of time. It's staying light later and this is very confusing.
07P 08 XX.XX NS

Sense of time altered. Look at clock and it is 21.00 and then it is midnight.
07P 10 XX.XX NS

Realized how spaced out I still feel, and how I really have lost all sense of time. It seems to be disappearing very quickly. I look at the clock and it some time and the next time I look a few hours seem to have disappeared.
07P 13 XX.XX NS

Not so spaced out - but sense of time feels very different. As if time doesn't matter.
07P 14 XX.XX NS

Sense of time still feels very distorted. I don't really have any idea what time it is - nor do I really care.
07P 17 XX.XX NS

Again sense of time is strange. It seems to go slowly at time and quickly at others. Look at clock one time and it says 9.30 and the next time it is 1 a.m. Time's flying.
07P 18 XX.XX NS

Was slow getting going, relaxed, laid back, late but unconcerned.
09P 02 07.00 NS

Clairvoyance

I feel as if I am in psychic communication with another member of the group, I feel as one with the group.
05P 01 15.30 NS

Feeling centred, feeling in tune with a friend, I think about picking up the menu a moment before she picks it up.
05P 01 19.00 NS

I felt in tune with the landlady I saw the polish on the bookshelf a split second before she moved it.
05P 01 22.00 NS

I notice synchronistic events; I wonder whether to pull out and the car behind pulls out, the radio talks about a fly and the next car to pass me has fly as part of it's number plate.
05P 03 18.00 NS

Today the synchronicity is back. Last night someone called me an 'old witch' because I phoned them up and asked them two things; about a dance and about an old friend. The next day she received a letter from the friend and in the evening did the dance at someone else's dance group. I'm thinking about encouraging my son to wear a hat, he calls down and asks me to find one (I haven't spoken my intention). There were more synchronistic events at my sister's but I can't remember them.
05P 16 XX.XX NS

Felt like I was on a wave of synchronicity or in slow motion when I was waiting for my bus and rang friend to see if she could give me a lift. The bus went past she said she'd just rung me to see if I wanted a lift.
08P 42 XX.XX NS

Confusion, Distortion

Walked past one of Misha's upstairs rooms and 'saw' 3 cats curled up on chairs out of the corner of my eye - someone said "but Misha doesn't have cats" - sure enough there was a stuffed toy on one chair and the other chairs were empty.
03P 28 17.00 NS

I don't know where I want to be and with who. No imagination. I have got 2 apples and don't feel like eating them. No attachment or desire of any kind.
05P 02 11.00 NS

I think my body, especially my arms feel larger than they actually are.
05P 02 23.30 NS

Wondering where the proving symptoms have gone. Feeling confused by everyone else's proving symptoms, wonder if I am still proving. Would like to be away from the group on my own to connect with my own symptoms.
05P 02 23.30 NS

I'm writing numbers backwards, i.e. the 6 before the 1 when writing 16.
05P 16 XX.XX NS

At a dance workshop, I do not always understand what is being said, I hear 'twix' instead of 'twigs' and it takes me ages to understand, I don't get any of the jokes.
05P 24 XX.XX NS

I was talking to myself in the mirror me looking at me trying to see myself, had a real awareness of a separation, higher self looking at myself/essence of myself. My face twisted and distorted in the mirror, I looked a little stupid. Thought it was like and acid trip or that I was really stoned.
06P 52 XX.XX NS

Typing still feels very strange. I can do it if I don't think about it, but when I think about what I am doing I get lost in looking at the keys rather than typing and make loads of mistakes.
07P 13 XX.XX NS

There is something different about the way I'm thinking, my thoughts seem to trip from one thing to another in a slow syrupy way. Bit sluggish, very trippy like.
08P 02 22.45 NS

My handwriting is so bad at the moment and I keep getting my words round the wrong way - tongue twisted/tied.
08P 23 XX.XX OS

Delusion that the telephone keeps ringing.
08P 25 XX.XX NS

Lying awake, trying to sleep - illusions: Glimpses of tiny hieroglyphics which wavered and shifted, black and pale cream. Minute red dots in lines superimposed over grey bas relief (abstract).
09P 08 01.00 NS

Taking follow-up case. enjoyable, interesting, but feeling a bit at a loss. I have a strong sense of the colour red in connection with this event.
09P 27 17.00 NS

Childlike, Innocence, Giggling, New

Feeling confident, opening-out, able to receive subtle energies. I had my tarot cards read and the theme was that I had been offered a gift that I am in conflict with.
01P 02 21.00 NS

Went to bed and burst into giggles.
02P 01 22.30 NS

Walking dogs. Feel on cloud nine. Full of enthusiasm for life. Joy. Feel high and expansive. Happiness bubbles near the surface- as if I'm going to erupt with it. This light energy almost uncontainable.
02P 02 07.30 NS

Feel as if all my cares have been taken away. Feel carefree, high, and trembly.
02P 02 07.30 NS

Feel incredibly high and giggly - had to control this during meditation. Feel I'm going higher and higher. The energy is like a tap turned full on. Such enthusiasm and joy, almost uncontainable.
02P 02 10.15 NS

Friend's head looked really big - almost like a cartoon which gave me the giggles. Felt I had to suppress giggles as everyone else felt 'straight' (as if I was on drugs and no one else was). Then slipped back into the calm, contained peace.
03P 01 20.00 NS

Felt in a happy and giggly mood.
04P 01 17.00 NS

I felt happy in the group and was giggly - the feeling most in the mind.
04P 02 15.00 NS

Happy and giggly when I was in the group.
04P 03 12.00 NS

I'm noticing more details, seeing what there is to see noticing the shapes of things, seeing more of what's there, e.g.; I see all the fish on the rug, everything on the window sill rather than an overall impression.
05P 02 10.00 NS

Whilst looking at things, I can see the individuality in everything, it is like an acid trip, visuals are definitely altered, heightened.
08P 02 10.30 NS

I have such a desire to curl up with an animal - dog or my cat, or ex- partner and sleep. Just to bask in that warmth of mutual sharing that space. Sharing sleep, no needs, wants. Reminds me of when I was a child and used to curl up with our dogs in the garden in summer. Feel a desire to give and receive deep love. Want to phone ex and it to be fine.
08P 02 17.00 NS

I lay in bed and watched the clouds through the skylight, could hear the birds, sunny, it feels like a summer morning. I felt like I was lying in bed at my grandfathers house - like a whole warm day was stretched out in front of me. Made me feel a child or younger with more freedom, like I was away travelling or on school holidays.
08P 03 08.00 NS

I seem to be associating the desire to be with a dog to my childhood. Being young.
08P 03 XX.XX OS

Want a hug/cuddle so much.
08P 06 XX.XX NS

Went to bed, suddenly so focused on my teddy bear which lives on my bed, I realised it's the oldest possession I have, since 2. Strange to notice her tonight. (More childhood stuff).
08P 17 XX.XX NS

For about 10 seconds as I stood behind the till I suddenly felt as though I was naked from the waist down, but I didn't care!
08P 19 XX.XX NS

I felt everyone else was trapped (kids, pregnancy, careers), and I was being sucked into it. I felt a huge pang of desire to travel, for space. I felt so young, unconfident too, small, little, naive and inexperienced. It felt strange to be doing this course or having chosen to so young. I felt I couldn't really communicate and I wanted to be like S always asking questions, I never know which ones to ask. I always clam up.
08P 26 XX.XX NS

Glass of red wine went to my head quickly. Was laughing aloud - a bit over the top.
09P 02 19.30 NS

Wanted to plait a girl's hair (another student who was sitting in front of me in class - I don't know her well enough to do this!) - a sudden impulse.
09P 29 10.15 NS

Cosseted

Complete absence of any worries or even ability to worry - feel cosseted.
03P 02 18.00 NS

Back home, feeling cosseted again, but also slight uneasiness in background which kept reminding me of the cloud.
03P 02 19.00 NS

Feel peaceful, calm and serenely happy as if cosseted at the centre of the Earth - beautiful feeling of being centred and whole. I can talk/not talk. Happy to be with people but don't particularly want to interact, but that's OK.
03P 02 XX.XX NS

Feel relaxed and at ease. Can't stop yawning.
06P 01 15.30 NS

Desire to cuddle somebody feel tired and want to go to sleep.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

Driving in the car to stay with a friend, I wanted to drive the other way and sit in front of my woodburner, sit in front of orange flames, be cosy.
08P 01 18.00 NS

Enjoying hanging out with my cat and sitting in the sunlight coming through the window.
08P 08 XX.XX NS

Balance not good in yoga. Wanted to sleep. Later want to snuggle up in warm, did not, was quite busy.
09P 03 12.00 NS

Unrestricted, Space

Bodily sensation of lightness.
01P 01 15.30 NS

I was woken by my daughters cough. I had a strange bodily sensation of being a giant puff ball - hollow, light, fragile, round. I felt like it. I was it, and it felt just right.
01P 07 XX.XX NS

Feel light and bubbly- like bubbles rippling near to the surface within me.
02P 01 17.30 NS

Car drive home: I feel like a helium balloon, wanting to be set free. I'm held only by a thread.
02P 02 16.30 NS

Feel more contained today, but still spaced out. Not so bubbly or effervescent.
02P 03 07.30 NS

We all went for a walk - on top of hill I really wanted to fly and almost felt like I could - walking with arms outstretched like bird.
03P 03 14.00 NS

I feel as if I'm getting slimmer without any effort.
05P 06 XX.XX NS

My heart is very open and energy is travelling up my back. I have a feeling of being very high, moving from side to side rather like a kite on string.
05P 07 XX.XX NS

Must fight to focus and concentrate in afternoon lessons drifting off, into relaxation.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

A slight feel of gay abandon, what does it matter it's fun.
07P 02 XX.XX NS

Managed to do a bit of work this morning. It was really hard to do as I feel a bit scattered and still spaced out. When I don't think about feeling spaced out I can function better. But could easily just do nothing and space out!
07P 05 XX.XX NS

There seems to be an un-relativity to my life at the moment. My reality seems to be detached. Friend doing the proving arrives, we are both sort of floating around; functioning, but not really thinking.
07P 11 XX.XX NS

I am feeling quite good - but could easily drift off into space. Still no inclination to work- except for in the evenings when I feel my brain starts to work.
07P 21 XX.XX NS

Seem to be dipping in and out of being spaced and in this time zone and being somewhere else.
07P 33 XX.XX NS

Lights seem sharper, pronounced, brighter, clearer. I feel speeded up. I feel very spaced, ungrounded.
08P 01 16.30 NS

Spoke to proving supervisor, made me feel better, feel more alive. I seem to enjoy speaking to people, especially women I haven't known a long time.
08P 05 XX.XX NS

Freewheeling

Thoughts spinning a bit. Mind racing away thinking about a situation in my life - where has all the peace gone?
03P 03 23.00 NS

My mind feels like it's freewheeling - spinning with thoughts which I can't stop from buzzing through my mind - feels as if there's no resistance. Thoughts just pour through so - feels like my mind could just fly off into outer space and bruised sensation on forehead - point 2 inches above each eye worse thinking. Only thing which makes it better is cupping forehead in palms of hands which also makes mind stop freewheeling.
03P 09 23.00 NS

Know I need to do some work, no anxiety about it, no rush. When I do do work I do so slowly and casually.
05P 10 XX.XX NS

Trick is to give up need for success. No thoughts of success or failure. Profit or loss, praise nor blame. Just do it. The cosmos knows what to do and what's best.
06P 32 XX.XX NS

Want to people watch - to interact and not. Felt like crawling into bed - but if I had would have wanted to be somewhere else. A great feeling of not knowing what I want to do. Want to eat and not - to be active and to lie down. Don't care what I say. Don't really know what I want to do.
07P 02 XX.XX NS

Driving along feeling spaced out - Going to visit a friend, whose house I'd never been to before - but not really bothering to look at the map - Just drifting there.
07P 16 XX.XX NS

Feel I have loads of things to do and don't have the time. Normally would feel hassled by this - but feel a little more relaxed.
07P 19 XX.XX NS

I took the proving remedy on impulse after the meditation - I had been very uncertain as to whether I should take it at all - partly because my homoeopath had just given me a remedy, and partly because I did not want to stir up domestic strife. Misha left the bowl of pills on the table in the hall, and when I saw it I took one. Felt a bit foolish but elated.
09P 01 17.00 NS

Fast walk up hill (an effort) - "lost" on the way back though was certain of turning being same as on the way up - was wrong but right.
09P 02 14.00 NS

Youthful

Feeling young and attractive, it's a sunny day and life is good. Feeling confident and sure of myself - chatty and relaxed with people. Smiling a lot; enjoying music, hand tapping to beat; enjoying driving. I went into work. I was joking with colleagues. At a meeting I felt so clear about my role, very confident. I was playing music in the car, really enjoying myself. Cars and rock and roll, youth and energy. I am attractive and I'm noticing attractive women more.
01P 06 11.00 NS

Feeling confident and competent at work. Positive energy for people and tasks. It seems I haven't felt like this for 20 years.
01P 07 XX.XX NS

Want to go out for a walk - its raining, but it doesn't matter what the weather's like. I love it. Full of energy. I used to be like this when younger, in my late teens, early 20s.
02P 17 XX.XX NS

Full of energy, real desire to be active outside. I feel like I did when I was younger, before illnesses. Ran 2 miles at the gym, felt so good working out the body. Not good on mental work. Difficult to concentrate and to focus on it.
02P 18 XX.XX NS

Without thinking I kept saying to my partner "I'm sure I'm on Acid" (I've never taken acid but experience felt quite 'trippy').
03P 01 XX.XX NS

I used the word 'mardy' which I haven't used since I was a teenager!
05P 04 XX.XX NS

I spend hours in town, far longer than necessary. People don't bother me at all (they usually do, i.e. the quantity). The lights are way to bright but apart from that I am completely unflustered. In one shop they are playing an all time favourite song from poly days and I think that it is significant.
05P 04 XX.XX NS

My partner asked me yesterday 'what keeps a couple together?' I say 'sex' He's really surprised at my answer thinks it is very out of character, that usually I would say something more 'spiritual or cosmic'.
05P 06 XX.XX NS

Talking on the phone a lot and really enjoying it.
05P 06 XX.XX NS

Proving does feel like a drug. We are sitting outside in tea break, M's kid playing house/techno, I feel like I'm away travelling and we've come together in the sun, for music, post-party or it's just that travelling vibe again.
08P 03 11.30 NS

Feel well all day, feeling attractive, liked. This is all new, I feel sociable. I seem to be surrounded by lots of people, 2 people I know came into the shop, 2 housemates were hanging out in my room. Lot's of phonecalls happened whilst I was out. Odd.
08P 18 XX.XX NS

Woke up groggily, it's so dark, grey, rainy, ugh. Feel very sexually alive.
08P 20 XX.XX NS

After lunch I enjoy being outside, walking, looking across fields and chatting to W. Aware there was only 1 male there. Want some recognition, want that alive sexual dynamic to pop up, i.e. a glance, that energy exchange.
08P 30 XX.XX NS

Felt like a teenager, asked out by 2 friends. I really wanted to go out, meet new people, just be out, but I was filled with the realisation that I couldn't. Full of fear, why can't I just do that, why not be adventurous. I felt young, stuck at home on a Saturday night. There is a bubbling under, something wanting to get out. Be new not me, be sociable, attractive, interested in others. All bollocks I know. Feel like an ugly duckling.
08P 44 XX.XX NS

Excitement

Desire for wine. Desire for conversation. I feel I have more energy, wanting to talk. As if I've been away somewhere exciting which everyone will want to hear about. Enthusiastic.
01P 03 XX.XX NS

Feeling of being understood. Feeling of abandonment gone. Feeling of being supported. Feeling of excitement.
01P 06 XX.XX NS

I feel a gentle expansion from within myself, but I feel more within myself - not flying so high.
02P 02 15.00 NS

Feels like a 'quickening'.
02P 02 XX.XX OS

We spent day clearing tenant's rubbish out of our rented property - feel frustrated that they won't move their own rubbish and that we're going to have to hire a removal van - no longer feel angry with them. I just want to get the house clear and do the place up. Decorating feels great - putting lots of beautiful colours and good energy back into the house.
03P 09 XX.XX NS

Feeling excited seeing family and friends in Jersey and planning my wedding for next month. Rushing around like a headless chicken - I felt as if all I could feel was excitement.
03P 19 XX.XX NS

Feels like I've been drinking loads of caffeine but I haven't been drinking coffee and only a few cups of tea a day - not drinking any more tea to see if makes any difference.
03P 21 XX.XX NS

I make love with my partner at lunchtime! I'm not interested in foreplay only intercourse.
05P 05 XX.XX NS

Music, Dance

Loving music - especially heavy base rock beat. I was listening to music from upstairs window, my feet and body responded instinctively.
01P 02 16.00 NS

Really enjoying music - listened to music for 3 hours this evening, while studying.
01P 08 XX.XX NS

The internal beat has gone. Desire for music has passed.
01P 14 XX.XX NS

Strong desire to listen to loud, fast music. Listened to U2 CD in car ecstatic memories of travelling. Feel ecstatic, peaceful and content. Just feel like curling up with my partner and cat all evening.
03P 02 18.00 NS

Decorating a house with loud music playing - couldn't stop dancing even when we went to the supermarket that evening - I was dancing in the aisles and not a bit embarrassed!
03P 05 XX.XX NS

I listen to Radio 1 very loud all the way home, normally I listen to Radio 4 or an inspirational tape.
05P 03 17.30 NS

I've wanted to listen to music, loud music. The rhythm of music feels good, singing along (happy).
06P 04 XX.XX NS

Driving - I desire very loud techno and a party.
08P 02 18.00 NS

Courtship, Romance

Enjoyed "Shakespeare in Love" at cinema with partner and friends. I felt connected to romance and feeling of courtship.
01P 04 XX.XX NS

Make love with partner, feel much lighter and freer about life afterwards.
05P 10 XX.XX NS

Sad and lonely, much better for exercise. Feeling of wanting/needing to be loved to find a soul mate on all levels physical emotional and spiritual.
06P 16 XX.XX NS

I'm talking of "love" all the time, being in love, falling in and out of love, cosmic and human love.
06P 18 XX.XX NS

Talked about the future, children commitment living together. A proposal, said that if she wanted to when we're together we could get married. (never felt this way before).
06P 22 XX.XX NS

Crying at romantic films.
06P 23 XX.XX NS

Strong desire to have family and babies.
06P 25 XX.XX NS

My disease is loneliness a need and desire for love.
06P 29 XX.XX NS

Can see girlfriend as a friend. I'm too busy to have a family and I don't need a relationship, want one, yes but not need. Cured, thank the gods. Remedy seems to take half of you away, the female side? I'm a man. Therefore need to satisfy the emotions. Good remedy whatever it is.
06P 43 XX.XX NS

Ex and I are getting on very well. Just like good old times. Want to be with him. Love, sex, like, etc. I'm stronger and different. Can we get back together without falling into old patterns.
07P 04 XX.XX NS

Very amorous towards pseudo-ex.
07P 21 XX.XX NS

Feel like I want to get back together with ex-partner and it to be floaty and happy and affectionate. I want cuddles and affection.
08P 02 13.30 NS

Am sad but still calm, thoughtful about me and ex, considering if we should get back together. He told me he was going on holiday with friends. I feel so jealous. It's strange leading our own individual lives, meeting up now and then and enjoying our company, then he says that and I feel like I want to leave. It's like he's emphasising each others freedom. I don't want to hear about his mates and the ones we share, feel I want to meet new people and move on. Or us to exist together, without them being there. I guess I want to feel special and loved, I have such a desire to be held and loved - my hair stroked, wanted but also to get on with my own life. I'm just so shit at sharing. Now I'm confused.
08P 05 XX.XX OS

Went to see film. Made me want a new lover and drama and new things, intense kissing and desire, fiery emotions.
08P 43 XX.XX NS

Expansion

Feeling optimistic. It feels good to be where I am. I am neither looking forward to going home, nor dreading it. I know everything will be OK. I feel that I'm going to have a good week at work too.
01P 03 XX.XX NS

Felt confident in challenging person over change in bar. My friend said "you were very assertive".
01P 04 XX.XX NS

Feel lightness, floatiness, 'spaced out'. Feel quite calm, and relaxed, tranquil. Its taken me beyond my limits, structure and form. I feel expanded out through and beyond my form, but my form remains.
02P 01 15.30 NS

Feel at ease with people and 'authority figures' - like Misha and lecturers. Feels easy to talk to them and the others on the course. Feel relaxed with the group members.
02P 02 12.00 NS

Definitely more able to speak out, have a conversation with a lecturer, I'm not normally that able to do so.
05P 02 10.00 NS

Mind able to focus and concentrate on a few things at once. Desire for mental stimulation.
06P 01 21.00 NS

Exploration, Journeys

I have a strong feeling come to me that I may emigrate!
02P 04 XX.XX OS

Walking dogs. The sun rose into clear skies. As the sun rose the colour, and symbol of it and what it evoked in me, filled me with a huge sensation and the desire to 'travel to the sun'. Don't know if this means to warmer climates or literally to the sun, the sensation, desire and words just welled up within me.
02P 05 07.40 NS

Strong desire to travel comes up again, its unsettling.
02P 07 XX.XX NS

I have a feeling of travel of moving fast with things (the planet?) rushing past me on my left.
05P 01 15.30 NS

I'm on a journey within form, I feel contained by it.
05P 02 10.00 NS

On waking I could feel which part of my brain was awake. I was trying to stop the awakeness travel to other parts, could almost feel the nerves travelling and firing.
05P 29 XX.XX NS

Desire to go travelling - leave reality behind, be content in nature. Friend called me a poet. I was flattered.
08P 03 13.00 NS

My ex rang and I was gushing, rambling. It was nice to speak to him. I had an energy boost and I've finally convinced him that we need to see a counsellor. I feel more assertive, listened to, with a strong sound argument.
08P 03 XX.XX NS

Went to see film with ex. I desire affection so much, but I don't know if from him. I cried because the film made me desire travel and having children, especially girls. The two girls in the film reminded me of myself and my sister when we were small. Skinny and tanned, long thin hair, being kids. I cried because I wanted sun and the freedom of travelling and new experiences. Feeling I want all these but here I was with my ex whom I've shared some past with,, wanting to be with him, and wanting him to be someone new.
08P 04 XX.XX NS

Have an urge to drive off to somewhere new, to have time to sit and think.
08P 29 XX.XX NS

Restriction

Feeling tired and lethargic. It seems that the internal busyness has passed. I feel more like my normal self - i.e. having to work at feeling good.
01P 10 XX.XX NS

Irritable - especially with noise of children.
01P 16 XX.XX NS

I cannot study at the moment - my study space depresses me. I started painting the walls yellow.
01P 20 XX.XX NS

Feeling very low, depressed. I'm thinking about deferring a year on my homoeopathy course. Everything seems to be too much - not enough time to enjoy life. Everything feels quite heavy, not much light around. Feeling like I've let things go, that I'm on a slippery slope. I cannot concentrate on study - no focus. I am restless, cannot prioritize tasks. Only thing which makes me feel better is simple tasks, painting and cleaning.
01P 24 XX.XX NS

Felt irritated when not in control of a situation e.g. someone else driving the car, someone else being responsible for getting the tea. Irritation at having to depend on others for these things.
02P 03 XX.XX RS

More outspoken about my views to Husband. I feel somewhat taken for granted. Feel irritated by it.
02P 07 XX.XX NS

I need to come up into the light. A real need to get light again. Feel as if I've been in the dungeons and darkness for a while. My study is in a dark room, feel the need to take my work upstairs into the light.
02P 31 XX.XX NS

Really irritated by something that wouldn't normally annoy me - might be because period started?
03P 14 XX.XX NS

Feel my emotions in general aren't as colourful as usual. Feel my base state is a bit emotionally deadened/subdued compared to my normal state, but with spurts of intense feeling. I feel self contained rather than my normal state of feeling too open - it feels a bit more grounded but also a bit bland because of that, and I want my own energy back!
03P 23 XX.XX NS

Realize I'm late going back after every break - I just want to be outside rather than in 'class' - don't want to do anything which restricts me.
03P 28 XX.XX NS

Reluctant to do even small things although actually I think I would feel better if I did.
05P 08 XX.XX NS

Feeling burdened by the same patient who has eczema, the responsibility makes me feel heavy. I feel sick and worried.
05P 08 XX.XX NS

Not much energy in the afternoon, happy to sit and listen. Tension in neck is uncomfortable.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

I've been driving around today thinking about people, that we are all in the "human condition" souls in bodies, thinking about the "bodies" we have chosen? Ended up with? All having to go through the same or similar things, all living in this world together. All being equal yet different and separate. Met some new people and thought about their lives.
06P 04 XX.XX NS

Feeling harassed - time is moving too fast and very tired. Eyes feel very heavy.
07P 04 21.00 NS

Still calm within myself, but not so full of life, I don't want to go to work, I want to sleep as it will benefit my cold. Another day in the same place makes my heart sink. I want some time to myself.
08P 07 XX.XX NS

Feel like I've been ill and I'm in an empty space. I feel low, lonely, don't know what to do, don't know what will make me better. The day is murky, grey, cold, where is spring, I'm counting on the daffodils to tell me. I went to prune the rose, thought I'd enjoy it, but I got annoyed by the long straggly, thorned, bendy shoots. I wanted to dig up the rose and elder in the front so I could plant the japonica but its too much work and cold. I feel tired, don't know what to do with myself. I can't think. Nothing satisfies.
08P 08 XX.XX NS

The light is crap, need and desire sunlight.
08P 17 XX.XX NS

I feel serious, I'm frowning lots, straightfaced.
08P 54 XX.XX NS

Earthiness, Grossness, Materialism

I cannot stand the mess around me - I must tidy it up. My energy for work has increased but for physical labour not study. I could not study today so got on with painting the study.
01P 20 XX.XX NS

Feel really fat today, almost a paranoia that I've put on weight. Haven't felt this as intensely as now for years.
02P 05 XX.XX OS

Feel really fat again. Today is the first day that I've really registered this feeling, but its been around for a few days. I have a desire to keep a food diary to monitor my food intake. I really feel fat, as if I've suddenly put on a lot of weight. I don't like this feeling.
02P 06 XX.XX OS

Issues around food and exercise. I had to go for a 2nd walk, even though I've been to the gym and have increased my running from 1 to 1.5 miles. My stomach symptoms are aggravated by eating, bloats up more and thus feels more uncomfortable. I have neurosis around food. I feel fat and have a distorted body image of myself. I feel very anxious about it all, I must do more exercise. (When younger had anorexia and bulimia.) More liable to flare up at husband. 'I don't want to play the wife, nurturing role, I want to be nurtured'. I feel taken for granted. Strong desire for apples again.
02P 08 XX.XX OS

Convinced I've put on weight, decided to cut down on my fat intake.
02P 11 XX.XX NS

I'm getting concerned that I must be pregnant.
05P 24 XX.XX NS

Did a pregnancy test today the result is negative, I can hardly believe the result.
05P 25 XX.XX NS

Did another pregnancy test - negative!
05P 28 XX.XX NS

Eyes of a friend looked "stony": hard, black, shiny stone.
06P 01 XX.XX NS

I am feeling very old and not very well.
07P 37 XX.XX NS

I feel very tired, I feel very stoned, (I'm not) like I'm drifting about wondering if I should eat toast for something to do. I feel ugly/masculine because of my hair. I feel stoned in the respect that I don't feel quite in my body, I feel paranoid that whatever I say is rubbish.
08P 02 22.45 NS

Predominant feeling today and yesterday is of feeling ugly. I tried on a couple of dresses and looked at my hair which is so fine, and I feel masculine, ugly I don't feel feminine. I do feel that I look like a man. But what is feminine? I know I should celebrate my curves (cliché), but I don't, I need to detox my liver and get healthy. I feel older and ugly.
08P 43 XX.XX OS

Despondent. Feel gross side gaining and spiritual side receding.
09P 08 XX.XX NS

Must not let this remedy dictate to me what I eat - am going to get very fat.
09P 08 XX.XX NS

Fed up with proving. am eating too much carbohydrates, drinking too much (alcohol). Have lost spiritual base to life. Gross side is winning. No yoga. No meditation. Aching body.
09P 38 XX.XX NS

Have been thinking how this remedy has changed me. I feel harder and less caring. Have been not minding missing meditations etc. that formerly meant so much to me. Loss of intensity. May be a good thing - poss. easier to live with but harder. More confident. Eating more. Certainly drinking more alcohol, putting on weight and not caring, not minding.
09P 50 XX.XX NS

Restlessness

Feeling as if the busyness inside me is too fast. I need to slow down. I'm trying to do too much.
01P 07 XX.XX NS

Restless. I can't keep still - I'm thinking about the next task before I've completed the current one.
01P 07 XX.XX NS

Feeling restless already - lots to do, can't decide where to start.
01P 09 XX.XX NS

Desire to walk outside. For the last 3 days I've walked the dogs twice a day.
02P 07 XX.XX NS

A restlessness. This went after I went out for a walk. Afterwards wanted to relax and read a novel - haven't done that for a while.
02P 10 16.30 NS

Feel more easily irritated by people, less tolerance for what they do.
02P 11 XX.XX NS

Husband says I've been more aggressive recently.
02P 11 XX.XX NS

At the gym, desire to work really hard. Ran 2 miles.
02P 11 XX.XX NS

Unable to settle to mental work. Generally better outside and for physical activity.
02P 14 XX.XX NS

Unable to focus in on mental work. Restlessness, want to be physically active. Increasing sense of disconnection with homeopathy. It seems so distant to me.
02P 19 XX.XX NS

Craving to be outside. Went for walk but on return I couldn't bear to be inside. I don't want to sit still in lecture.
03P 02 14.30 IOS

Enjoying doing physical activity e.g. decorating, exercise, etc. but total aversion to study - I can't persuade myself to study and I'm finding it hard to be bothered to try - happy doing my own thing.
03P 19 XX.XX NS

Total aversion to doing any mental/written work, letters, etc. - want to be outside or physically active. I feel totally divorced from my mental processes - almost unable to think things through - it's easier just to be... and that's OK. Nothing matters (A bit frustrating because I have assignment 'deadlines' to meet and study is almost impossible - but without time limitations it would be quite a pleasant state).
03P 23 XX.XX NS

Feel as if I'm on Speed! Running around trying to finish decorating - lots of physical energy.
03P 27 13.00 NS

Really can't stand studying - today has been hell! - I feel I'll burst if I have to force myself to do anymore. Feel incredibly irritable - nothing's right with the world!
03P 28 XX.XX NS

I cannot find what it is that I want.
05P 04 09.00 NS

I'm feeling grumpy and I'm not sure what about.
05P 06 XX.XX NS

I feel as if I have feelings and symptoms but I can't reach them.
05P 06 XX.XX NS

Increased sexual desire, but then my girlfriends gone. Feel like there's no release.
06P 04 XX.XX NS

Desire for exercise.
06P 07 XX.XX NS

Strong thoughts of sex the last 2 weeks.
06P 31 XX.XX NS

Very restless in the evening.
07P 03 XX.XX NS

Couldn't seem to focus on any one thing. Trying to do my assignments and work - I kept skipping from one thing to another. Nothing held me and I kept thinking of the odd line to add to the next thing.
07P 06 XX.XX NS

Irritated by noises of shuffling and footsteps of rest of yoga class settling.
09P 04 09.00 NS

Disorganized

Feeling half-hearted about being organized about this proving. I feel careless and slovenly about doing the diary. But I also resent the mess around me - I bought myself a new proving diary. I went out and bought myself a new jacket for £95 - I want to look good. I also got my hair cut - I feel like looking good to go with feeling good.
01P 04 XX.XX NS

I had a session with my clinical practice supervisor. My work with patients has been something of a shambles at times. I have been so disorganized. I could not remember the order of consultations I had done, and my supervisor described my state as 'chaotic'. Its like part of me has been away, but I've been carrying on as if I'm still here.
01P 42 XX.XX NS

Talking with mother - confusion with my words, unable to get them out straight. Stumble over what I'm saying. Also I use swear words more than usual, they just seem to slip out.
02P 04 17.00 NS

At homoeopathy course, realised this month I've increasingly had the inability to structure or put a framework on the days. I've tried to fill them with physical activity. Time distortion - The day is endless and timeless, no structure. The cut off point has been 17.00-18.00hrs. After this point, after the end of the working day, its as if the struggle to keep going, to accomplish things is finished. I had been just trying to keep my head above water up until this time, now I relax. But am unable to do anything except veg out in front of the TV. Unable to read or do.
02P 30 XX.XX NS

I cannot get myself organized to go to town.
05P 04 10.30 NS

Still can not get my head into doing any real work - just doing bits and pieces - feel very scattered. Even began to think that I have always handed in my work - so maybe I would miss a month - or hand it in incomplete and 'blame' the proving. This is very unlike me. Time is still very weird. Panics of not having enough time to do things alternating with not really caring.
07P 20 XX.XX NS

Disconnection

Very quick to anger. I was woken by 5 year old son. He ignored my plea not to turn
on a light as I needed more time to wake up. I was very angry and threatened to "punch" him if he didn't stop making a noise. I had to wake myself to stop me carrying out my threat. The quick anger is not new, the violent threat is.
01P 05 07.00 NS

In the centre of Bristol, sitting on bench eating sandwiches. I became acutely aware of number of desperate/homeless people around me. My good feelings felt inappropriate. Feeling of selfishness. Feeling of my wealth amid others poverty, feelings of guilt. It's as if I have been cushioned by the proving.
01P 08 XX.XX NS

Forgetfulness. I forgot my cash machine pin number - I haven't done this for years. I forgot to turn off the oven - thinking about too many other things. I forgot to drink the cup of tea I made for myself. I am thinking about too many things at once.
01P 08 XX.XX NS

Thinking about too many things at once. Forgot to put a stamp on friend's birthday card.
01P 13 XX.XX NS

Feeling very depressed about homoeopathy - I know nothing and shouldn't be practising it.
01P 17 XX.XX NS

In the pub on evening of homoeopathy weekend. I was feeling bored with the conversation, fed up with all the self-analysis. I wanted to be somewhere else.
01P 29 XX.XX NS

At home, irritation that no tea had been prepared for me. Felt let down by my husband.
02P 02 18.00 NS

Feel increasingly spaced out and removed from what is going on.
02P 03 XX.XX NS

When riding, felt really weird - as if I wasn't really present. "spaced out" feeling - but this could have been because my period had just started.
02P 05 XX.XX NS

Feel so much emptiness and grief after reading that novel. As though it was a trigger for something within. As if it has wrenched open an old wound, a longing so strong to return, but to where? As I drive to Tescos this morning, I feel that I don't belong here, where is my home? Everything is wrong. I'm trying to remember something which is just outside my consciousness. I ache inside, I long inside. I could burst into tears with this sickness. I do not belong here.
02P 11 11.00 NS

Went into Meditation to try and resolve this inner emptiness. Met my guide. Glimpse an insight into past lives where there was heartache and trauma.
02P 11 XX.XX NS

Have noticed that all day whilst using computer I keep pressing the wrong keys, misspelling words. Feel uncoordinated.
02P 13 XX.XX NS

Finding it very difficult to concentrate on any mental work.
02P 21 XX.XX NS

Very difficult to focus on homeopathy. Seems so distant, I question whether I should continue with the course.
02P 22 XX.XX OS

Growing feeling of "I can't be bothered" e.g. to write notes.
03P 02 16.00 NS

Feel really weak and strong sense of internal shaking. Can't focus on the 'here and now' found it really hard to concentrate on what was going on and difficult to speak to others because feeling so shaky and unfocussed.
03P 12 11.30 NS

Memory for names and places is shot to pieces e.g. couldn't remember my neighbour's (of 26 years!) name or street/pub names that I've known all my life. Finding it difficult to focus mentally on anything outside of the here and now. Mixing word syllables up in my speech e.g. Denim and Demin; car park = par cark, etc. - in retrospect I've been doing this for couple of weeks.
03P 19 XX.XX NS

Felt angry with the remedy - screaming internally at it to piss off - I want my own energy back - it's as if there's a discordant note playing all the time so that I don't feel myself.
03P 25 XX.XX NS

Can't bear to study - have felt completely divorced from homoeopathy and mental processes all month. We've got college tomorrow and I've only done half an assignment. For first time this month I'm trying to force myself to study but I feel trapped and restricted sitting here trying to make sense of notes I made 3 weeks ago - I really can't be bothered - I want to go outside and run around. Don't want to go to college tomorrow - don't want to do anything that restricts me e.g. having to be somewhere at a certain time.
03P 28 XX.XX NS

After we'd talked in class about the proving I felt a shift in energy - after a break I felt that my 'own energy' was back - I was feeling happier and more playful/mischievious than I have this last month - I felt like me again. When we'd been talking about the remedy, I had a strong intention that I didn't still want to be in the proving for our wedding (2 weeks time) so I don't know if that session closed the proving down for me? Only time will tell - it was very sudden.
03P 29 XX.XX NS

I felt depressed in my mind at the clinical day, as most of the other students had had a lot of proving symptoms when I had not had many.
04P 29 XX.XX NS

I'm feeling very far away from myself, my normal impressions and neuroses. I also have a sense of something else welling up that's emotional but too far away to reach yet.
05P 02 10.00 NS

Self evaluation is not what is required, just self observation!
05P 03 12.00 NS

When I made love with my partner last night I didn't want to kiss his mouth. I received far more than I gave and didn't seem to have any qualms about this.
05P 04 XX.XX NS

I think it's that I don't have much ego at the moment. Feeling freer and lighter in myself. The kids hassle me I get firm, but there's very little residue (i.e. of emotion).
05P 06 XX.XX NS

I seem to be having difficulty spelling simple words. I have to concentrate to get it right and add the letters afterwards if I've missed any out.
05P 06 XX.XX NS

Bored. Don't know what to do with myself. Don't want to be around the kids who are on 1/2 term. Can't find a place for myself.
05P 08 XX.XX NS

I'm feeling uncomfortable with partner for not being about and then just walking in and wanting affection.
05P 08 XX.XX NS

Lying in bed thinking that in some areas of my life what's on the inside doesn't match what's on the outside, i.e. a lot of my uncomfortable feelings about my partner get expressed outside of the relationship and don't always get integrated in that I don't say the whole truth - maybe this is a common symptom in relationships? I feel unhappy about it. I feel unfulfilled, feel that he is far more on the surface. Or maybe he really deeply loves and I don't, which is why it feels like surface to me. If I don't, why not? Did I ever? Recognize that I'm probably doing what my mother did, covering up unhappiness not matching the inner with the outer for fear of breaking up a second relationship.
05P 09 XX.XX NS

I'm very intolerant. My son says this proving has made me aggravated. I have to keep focused on this proving otherwise I feel completely at sea, in a personality that isn't me, yet that person is also me, a different aspect of me is in focus.
05P 09 XX.XX NS

Have been out for a walk with a friend, notice that I shout more than her (at the kids) about small things, that I'm less tolerant of the mud, I'm really surprised. Don't feel comfortable with her, feel a long way away.
05P 11 XX.XX NS

Crying, it's a relief to let go. I feel lost, I've lost myself.
05P 13 19.00 NS

Criticizing every aspect of self and others. So threatened do I feel because of disconnection from self and source. Spent a lot of the day feeling down. Need music.
05P 13 XX.XX NS

At a circle dance class that I teach I forgot quite a few of the steps to the dances. Needed to look at my notes all the time. I never normally do this.
05P 15 XX.XX NS

Whilst cooking a cake I absentmindedly put pepper in the eggs!
05P 15 XX.XX NS

I'm trying to work and don't seem to be able to write neatly at all, have such an effort to make myself stay focused, want to space off. I'm getting dizzy in my forehead. Can hardly make my hands work. I can feel my thoughts being pulled away from each other.
05P 19 XX.XX NS

Forgetfulness, I forgot to buy a remedy for a patient and then, when I remembered I bought the wrong kind of pill.
05P 25 XX.XX NS

In meditation I feel very contained and cut off, disconnected from everything. In a dry desert. I have to unfreeze myself and open up. There was a resistant wall in my mind that wouldn't let go for a long time. Have been noticing how separated I feel in life generally. Noticing that I'm distant from my partner, even the children. Consciously reaching out and letting in, have to remind myself, otherwise I would wall off. Have been thinking about old friends.
05P 27 XX.XX NS

Feeling fragile, disconnected from myself, from my partner, my life. Feeling weepy and vulnerable. I am so detached from my body with this period, so light in my body, can hardly feel it.
05P 33 XX.XX NS

I feel as if I have no sense of home and cry. I have been looking and looking for where to live. Every where I go I ask myself is this home. My Osteopath says I don't feel at home in my body. I'd forgotten that my body was my home.
05P 52 XX.XX NS

I've been clumsy driving a van scraped the sides a few times helping a friend move house. It's my van but I don't drive it that often.
06P 04 XX.XX NS

Spaced out as if missing/distant to events, as they are recounted, as if a vague recollection - dim memories. Same in class - moments of just not feeling present - as if my focus was gone. Case taking very there - and then lost it briefly. Focus all fuzzy - mental.
07P 03 15.00 NS

Driving in the morning felt very weird - felt as if I really shouldn't be as I was very spacey. Still very spaced out. Trying to type felt very weird as if I'd forgotten and my computer was being very strange!
07P 04 XX.XX NS

Got emotional with ex - but not about us, about my life and my pain. Felt like saying nothing and everything.
07P 10 XX.XX NS

Yet again feel very spaced out. A friend came to see my youngest and I felt I was only half there, when listening to her. Another friend picks up her son who was over playing with mine and I feel I don't know her. Feel awkward with each of these people. As if I can only relate to one person or child at a time.
07P 11 XX.XX NS

I don't feel me, as though I've taken a drug.
08P 01 16.30 NS

My lower legs were under water, I don't think I could feel them, didn't look like they were my legs, look detached from me.
08P 03 24.00 NS

Very low all day, I feel drowned in it. Snippets or slithers of humour snuck out once or twice. I don't feel me at all, I want to speak to ex. I don't feel me, I feel the polarity of how I was - so on top at the proving weekend.
08P 11 XX.XX NS

Went to pub with ex. Felt desperately for him then it was like a switch had flicked, my feelings towards him totally changed. I couldn't be arsed. It was a really profound sudden change, I could feel it physically as though I could touch it. My feelings towards him went. Strange.
08P 12 XX.XX NS

Nearly ran over someone with my car. I went through an amber light. I was preoccupied, they dived, I swerved. Shat me up, I drove off. Felt in shock, heart racing. I felt disconnected, they looked comical. 08P 26 XX.XX NS

Felt not keeping up with ordinary life. Husband said it was putting pressure on me. I was annoyed he could not see he was affecting me. Annoyed with self for taking (proving) remedy.
09P 12 XX.XX NS

Have just connected the fact I have not seen my mother for a month and have not been too worried about it.
09P 29 XX.XX NS

Feeling guilty - had gone away for three days and not phoned mother before leaving - not my usual standard
09P 56 XX.XX NS

On theme of lack of consideration for my mother, it occurred to me that my occupations are as valid as my sisters', though I am not in paid employment. Felt undervalued and inadequate at same time. I usually take it for granted their time more valuable than mine.
09P 58 XX.XX NS

Isolation, Desire to be alone

Wanting to be alone - feeling uncomfortable in a room of fellow provers. Wanted to go to a quiet room somewhere.
01P 01 XX.XX NS

Sensation of changed reality - walking home from pub alone, the streets seemed deserted like the left-over set of a film.
01P 01 XX.XX NS

Wanting to be alone but with people nearby - I stayed in a pub and watched football with pub regulars while my friends went back to the B&B.
01P 01 XX.XX OS

Feeling of complete detachment from my family. They seem like a million miles away and I could be in another world.
01P 02 XX.XX NS

Wanting to be with people but also to be undisturbed. I was in the student group and saw the seating arrangement as a spiral. I placed myself in the tail of the spiral, but felt cold and distant from the energy of the group. This image of the spiral felt significant, as if it had greater meaning.
01P 03 XX.XX NS

Feeling abandoned and alone with the proving. Angry with college principal. Feel like not bothering with proving recording. I phoned prospective proving supervisor from list of names, but he can't do it. Angry about shambolic organization.
01P 05 XX.XX NS

Feeling lack of commitment to proving diary and contacting supervisor. Fear of being rejected. I wanted someone to look after me. I had a telephone call from a colleague - she advised me to get myself a supervisor. It was great to talk.
01P 07 XX.XX NS

Feeling emotionally detached from my wife - wanting to be alone.
01P 10 XX.XX NS

Feeling criticized. Feeling judged. Feeling angry. Feeling stupid. Feeling isolated. Feeling incompetent. All these are old symptoms but with an intensity that is overwhelming.
01P 28 XX.XX NS

I woke up feeling totally disinterested at the prospect of a day at college studying homoeopathy. I resolved to spend time with different people on the course today. As the day wore on I became increasingly lonely and isolated. Feeling like I know nothing. Feeling like I'm a stranger. Feeling disconnected. Feeling adrift. One of the other students asked me if I was OK - I said yes, I felt that if I said otherwise I would cry. I left college, not knowing where to go. I did not want to go to the B&B and I did not want to go to the pub. I did not want to go home. I felt like crying. I drove the car not really knowing where I was going, I got lost and began to panic a little. After an hours driving in pouring rain, horrible conditions, horrible emotional state, I arrived back where I hadn't wanted to be an hour previously - in a warm pub. It felt like I'd just come through a crisis and now I was safe.
01P 30 XX.XX NS

Feeling lonely, forsaken and abandoned. One of the other students I thought I would be with tonight went to stay with one of her friends. I feel angry with her because she asked me to arrange for her to stay at the same B&B as me. I feel let down. I feel different from everyone in the group - they all seem to have a special friend in the group, I don't.
01P 31 XX.XX NS

The week has been something of a watershed. I have felt depressed and hopeless about so much - my relationship with my wife, the children, homoeopathy, social work, friendships... my life. I don't want to see anyone or talk to anyone. I feel despairing, forsaken, awful.
01P 39 XX.XX NS

Went for another group walk after lunch. 7 of us, all paired up except me, but felt quite OK about this. Enjoyed hearing the voices and yet being separate. I felt part of it but didn't need to interact. Their voices were my primary focus of them. Feel very at ease with the group.
02P 03 14.00 NS

After reading a romantic novel set in medieval period, this deep sense of grief and emptiness just seems to be welling up inside me. I don't know where it's come from. Tremendous sense of grief.
02P 10 XX.XX NS

I don't want to be around everybody, everyone has high symptoms, I could just cry. Then very readily I swing to laughter, lots of laughter.
05P 03 12.00 NS

As I get nearer home I start to cry. I had wanted to come home and be on home territory, I cry because I have been so far from home, wonder if I know where home really is. My partner says that I look different, smaller yet wider around the eyes.
05P 03 19.00 NS

I feel so contained in myself that I have hardly a thought for how my partner is feeling (he has an exam today).
05P 04 XX.XX NS

I want every one to go off to school and leave me alone. I can't bear even to hear my daughter talking, I don't want to communicate.
05P 06 XX.XX NS

My sense of self is slipping through my fingers. I feel lonely and isolated within and without.
05P 43 XX.XX OS

On the walk up the hill a sensation of a separation from the group. Sensation is coming and going felt ignored once or twice, nice to walk, talk and interact with people. Didn't know what I wanted to do, whether to go on the walk or not. Started a few sentences, people suddenly weren't listening, ignored?
06P 02 XX.XX NS

On my own didn't like it at first felt lonely it had been a good day. Then quite quickly felt OK. About it a chance to do my thing. A great desire for interaction with people and also a great desire for solitude
06P 07 XX.XX NS

To love and to be loved. Powerless with no choice. If not the chosen one I feel low self worth.
06P 17 XX.XX NS

Friend on the phone said I sounded far away and sad. Got to stop sleeping with girls (for a while at least). Heart is so open to others emotions, I'm taking them as my own better talking to a friend. I'm depressed, better for sympathy and support. (Reflecting on this mood and feeling after the proving had worn off I believe that I hadn't been this depressed about anything in the last 6 years.)
06P 17 XX.XX NS

Feel I need love, cosmic and sexual, girlfriend. Feel tired,emotionally drained (depleted). Feel as though my heart is disintergrating.
06P 19 XX.XX NS

Humiliation, feel like I'm whipping my self. Trust in something higher than ourselves, if really a soul mate, will come back. It's all meant to be. Time for self preservation, look after number one. Desire for exercise. Doing a lot of thinking and reflecting of my love life.
06P 24 XX.XX NS

Went out for a drink with some other homoeopaths, got very drunk. One lady said that we were lost in London , I turned around and she was gone (she went to look in a shop window) when I saw that she was gone, I cried out where are you. She said that I was like a lost insecure little boy. Who has lost his mother. Panic, God I'm lost. Other people on the course said that they had a strange weird feeling being next to me, guess this remedy is like an epidemic or virus. They also said I looked nervous, shaky and scruffy
06P 38 XX.XX NS

Visited ex, I curled up next to him wanting affection. He wanted me to stay, we both wanted to curl up together, but I wanted to go, wanted my own bed and not to hurt myself even more or feel loss the next day alone again. I wanted to sleep in my own bed, house.
08P 26 XX.XX NS

I'm envious of everyone having their period at the same time, and me not.
08P 33 XX.XX NS

Starting of period, made me want to stay and be with ex. He stroked my feet and I realised I don't have any physical affection in my life, it felt unusual. I want to cry I want ex to see I have pain in me somewhere, but even I can't find it.
08P 34 XX.XX NS

Numbness, Apathy

Increasing sense of 'indifference' and not caring, or cannot be bothered to relate symptoms, etc.
02P 02 15.00 NS

Feel spaced out and apathetic.
02P 07 XX.XX NS

Feel that I can't be bothered to write this diary - I don't feel that I'm proving the remedy. Feel incredibly bored of keeping the diary and finding it difficult persuading myself to contact my proving supervisor.
03P 09 21.00 NS

Mind feels blocked and numb - I can't think straight. Mixing word syllables up and forgetting to complete tasks e.g. returning friend's calls, making cups of tea. Can't type to save my life - my left brain seems to have gone on holiday. I need to do some assignment work and case top sheets but I can't be bothered - no sense of guilt whatsoever!
03P 20 XX.XX NS

Very tired mentally and physically from build up of lack of sleep. Mind feels sluggish.
03P 23 XX.XX NS

Total aversion to mental work - I've hardly done any study this month, but I'm not really bothered (very unusual! - none of my usual feelings of having to get all assignments done and 'well').
03P 27 15.00 NS

I felt depressed and did not feel like doing much work.
04P 32 XX.XX NS

I comment to a friend that although I have a headache I don't seem to mind about it.
05P 01 18.30 NS

Looking at myself in the mirror very evenly no revulsion or criticism, just observations thoughts of what might look better, no emotion.
05P 02 08.00 NS

Feeling bored and uninspired could happily go home (from school).
05P 03 XX.XX NS

I feel very tired yet the day feels as if it had been a non event. I am completely lacking in inspiration.
05P 04 XX.XX NS

While meditating I can't locate my chakras and cannot get focused at all I don't know what to do other than sit. I'm so completely idle. I like to stand and look out of the window a lot. I feel a bit like a captive animal looking at, watching the world without anything that I want to do. Eventually I do a few things out of boredom. I do things slowly without my usual rush and panic.
05P 05 XX.XX NS

I haven't even unpacked from the weekend yet, it doesn't seem to matter. I have no drive or angst, I feel that I might as well do something.
05P 05 XX.XX NS

Apathy, don't care what goes on, or what I do.
06P 30 XX.XX NS

Drugged feeling in wafts - loads of energy very great fatigue.
07P 02 XX.XX NS

A friend of friend's partner stayed for dinner, he annoyed me. I didn't find him funny, but instead of getting wound up as I usually would I thought "fair enough that's cool", I felt a bit removed from them.
08P 01 21.00 NS

Thinking about going for a walk all day, I can't be arsed. I'm so lethargic its cack. Can't find the right oil to burn, none please. Nothing satisfies.
08P 10 XX.XX NS

Was thinking about being taken over by this remedy - allowing myself to be - and how it has made me more relaxed and less intense but I have lost by this and at same time am no better for it - am also more self indulgent - not taking care of my body.
09P 08 XX.XX NS

Weeping over own inadequacy as human being and quarrel with husband. Feel it in stomach as sinking feeling. Have been feeling cut off from emotions.
09P 31 05.00 NS

Extreme energy drop. Could not be bothered to do anything. Mummy here - wanted me to cut some picture mounts for her - would have gone to bed otherwise!
09P 37 XX.XX NS

Apprehension, Fear

Recalled a childhood memory of sister saying she'd seen a ghost. I felt excited, fearful, apprehensive.
01P 01 15.30 NS

I was very nervous about talking to the camera for our proving report - all these symptoms seem to reflect this anxiety. I want to be somewhere else, wanting to be outside, feeling exposed in the group. I am finding it hard to stay in the group - I am feeling vulnerable.
01P 02 10.15 NS

Struggled to cinema with my son to see 'Bugs Life' - I was very sensitive to the violence in the cartoon.
01P 17 XX.XX NS

At my group this evening, one of the members was experiencing deep pain and grief at the prospect of separating from his children. I felt deeply moved and distressed - feeling that my own relationship with my wife could resolve into a separation amidst grief and pain. Also a feeling that I have been denying these feelings about the relationship. I felt that I had acknowledged my own self-deception and was fearful of the path I have to follow, though I felt I was 'in truth'. It feels like I am having a peek at the other side of myself - at a side I prefer not to see/hear/feel.
01P 25 XX.XX NS

Unable to study, despite wish to do so. It seems that something has changed within me - something from deep within me has been released and I cannot put it back. It needs to be befriended, welcomed, but it may be painful for me. It's hard to concentrate on anything else while this is happening - I feel unable to find my resolve at the moment. I am fearful of exposing my vulnerability. I feel that I should keep my deepest thoughts secret. I need to protect myself.
01P 26 XX.XX NS

Two months after taking the remedy. I have climbed out of the pit I was in. I feel that I have integrated with myself again - with the familiar me. Its like I've been on quite a perilous journey.
01P 65 XX.XX NS

Feel shaky and trembly. Heart beat faster. A cold sweat. Pressure in the heart centre. Feel cold and shivering.
02P 01 15.30 NS

Anxiety about going to the stables and riding my horse.
02P 05 09.30 NS

Went out for a long horse ride with friends, without husband. Felt really nervous and apprehensive to the stage of looking for an excuse not to go. Was fine on the ride.
02P 09 10.00 NS

Woke up with a sense of foreboding and anxiety. Undefined. Later walking the dogs, still have this sense of foreboding with me.
02P 20 XX.XX NS

Driving in this ecstatic state under beautiful clear twilight sky with bright stars, when I noticed a hummungous dark cloud enveloping the whole sky in front of us consumed an by anxiety and an apprehension for the group of what was ahead - as if part of the proving was about entering the Dark Night of the Soul.
03P 02 18.30 NS

Opened living room curtains and had a fleeting thought and uneasiness that there would be blood on the lawn and on outside of window - nothing there.
03P 03 08.00 NS

Very mild niggling anxiety - uneasiness and uncertainty about the unknown - the black cloud of last night.
03P 03 08.00 NS

Mild sensation of uneasiness of unknown origin again - not brought on by anything. Sensation of foreboding as if something's going to happen. Getting stronger - senses feel heightened. Feel that beings/ghosts are present that I can't quite see, but it feels as if they will suddenly appear. I was about to go upstairs for a bath but I don't think now's a good time! Feel a bit anxious. All my senses feel on edge and ultra heightened with even slight noises making me jump. Feel that the boundaries between dimensions are thinning. I have had times of feeling like this in past so not sure of the category but this does feel linked to the proving.
03P 07 22.00 NS

My proving supervisor rang to see how I was as I hadn't phoned him for a while and I was telling him I felt nothing was going on. Put the phone down and was immediately hit by a 600ft wall of anxiety. Felt an all consuming despair, hopelessness and desolation hit me from out of nowhere - not especially linked to anything (vaguely to a money situation we have at the moment but way, way out of all proportion). Total anxiety, despair and desolation leading to panic. I couldn't feel my link to spirit at all for the first time in my life. The image was of previously having lived in a bubble of life beliefs, consciousness, etc., floating in nurturing blackness (space?), but that the bottom of the bubble had burst, destroying all my beliefs, awareness, trust and everything that is life. I'm free-falling downwards through oblivion. There is no bottom to the fall and no-on/nothing can help me. There's just desolation and panic. Is this the cloud - the black night of the soul I felt uneasy about after taking the remedy? I feel my trust in the process of life has been severed. Sobbing my heart out - my heart chakra feels painful - tight shut. Head bruising much worse and inward pressure on forehead and for short time on vertex. Breathing short, rapid - grabbing lungfuls of air as feel I'm suffocating with panic. Picked up my journal to 'write the feelings out of my system' and after a couple of minutes a numbness suddenly descended and all the panic went as if someone had snapped their fingers. Head still felt bruised and pressure worsened for few minutes and I started feeling very cold and as if trembling inside. This gradually wore off leaving slight achy head and feeling cold. The numbness gradually turned into an all consuming peace. Almost back to the initial proving state with it's inability to worry. Feel connected to Spirit again and strong feeling of everything's going to be all right. Feel happy - the joy is back. Where did all that come from?
03P 11 11.00 NS

Feel like I'm trembling inside and feeling anxious - no apparent reason.
03P 13 XX.XX NS

Feel awful. Really stressed/anxious - no particular reason for it. I feel all my nerves are wired to the National Grid.
03P 14 XX.XX NS

I have an incredible hot nervy feeling, fear is leaping into my throat, it makes me dizzy I am about to relay my symptoms to the group, I have a sense of foreboding. There is sweat above my top lip.
05P 02 10.00 NS

Another prover's eyes look really weird; dark with shadows.
05P 03 10.00 NS

My partner has looked like a large vulture ever since I got home.
05P 04 XX.XX NS

I remember that I was more fearful than usual overtaking lorries on the motorway.
05P 05 XX.XX NS

Anxiety-feeling sick in solar plexus because of worry about a patient who needs constant daily reassurance about her child's treatment.
05P 07 XX.XX NS

Today I'm feeling very elated yet, I have an underlying sense of dread that is very far away, a feeling of 'this won't last can I trust it.
05P 19 XX.XX NS

In the bathroom saw a pile of toy crabs, spiders, insects, etc. and a black hair brush. Made me jump, had to kick them to make sure they were toys, startled when I opened the door to the shower and they moved, unusual for me.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

Get depressed and feel small and unsure around 18.00.
07P 17 18.00 NS

During the meditation I saw small black spiders, which for once I wasn't scared of, then I was aware the sun had gone in and the light in the room was darker, I felt bad about the sun going in. Then I saw swirly things, material- red, yellow, green - twisting, soft ribbon.
08P 01 15.30 NS

I need support through all this. Homoeopathy is so subtle that it is scaring me. I feel out of control, not ungrounded but just misplaced. My soul slightly dislodged as in relation to my physical body. Oh man! How to explain ? I don't know what's going on with my emotions, and I know they are expressing physically, through my lungs as ever.
08P 42 XX.XX NS

Meditation on remedy - unfocussed - towards end had shivering, shuddering down back of neck.
09P 02 10.00 NS

I could not be bothered to express myself. Had lost the "laid back" feeling and felt anxious. After I spoke, I felt weepy and felt a pain at my lower sternum - then someone joked and I was laughing and weepy, but was not able to say so at the time.
09P 02 14.45 NS

Smoke alarm "beeped" as I passed it, on the way to get early morning tea, making me jump.
09P 08 XX.XX NS

In class I did not understand what being said (lasted a few minutes). Have been feeling shaky and anxious all day.
09P 31 XX.XX NS

Suspicion, Jealousy

Feeling paranoid in shop situation. I couldn't make up my mind what to buy and a queue was forming - I felt stupid and embarrassed.
01P 02 19.00 NS

Talking to someone in mortgage office about a finance problem and I felt like I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time and felt really stressed. I was aware that my face was flushing and felt that everyone in the office was looking at me. Felt really paranoid and just wanted to get out of the office as quickly as possible. Later I felt as if I'd been really hysterical - feel I'm going mad - over-reacting to everything - not sure I like this remedy!
03P 12 XX.XX NS

Feel so physically and mentally tired - looking for a wedding outfit but can't be bothered to try anything on I'm so tired and feel a complete mess - partner is very supportive but I feel the shop girls are all laughing about what a state I'm in behind my back - just want to crawl out of the shop whilst they're not looking - feel I want to crawl into my partner's pocket and be carried out of sight back to the car!
03P 20 XX.XX NS

Whilst out for a walk I realize that I have left my door key in a far more prominent place than usual. I'm concerned someone will be hiding in my house on my return. When I get home, I grab a big stick and prowl around the house checking each room, my adrenaline is very high.
05P 22 XX.XX NS

Feeling intolerant of a friend who has come to stay, feel she's dishonest because she is so nice. This is bothering me a lot more than it ever has done before.
05P 24 XX.XX NS

Have used the phrase spitting pins and thought about it a lot.
05P 27 XX.XX NS

I feel that the proving has left me softer, that I've reached a new place, I realize that I am on the same side as my partner. I feel ready and able to love him aware that I need to put in what I want to receive. Am ready to allow trust in. Ready to see that. Recognize that I don't need not to trust, if my partner needs to e.g.. flirt that's up to him, I can't suppress or palliate. I would just need to respond if something did happen. Something strange is happening. When I came back from school I felt completely and irrationally convinced that the friend I had just stayed with was wishing that she could get together with my partner, I just heard it some how. This is what prompted the trust stuff above. I tell my partner how I felt ask him if their is anything on his side. Two days later there is a message on the answer phone asking if she can come and stay. I feel very glad to have got clear with my partner already.
05P 34 XX.XX NS

This friend is due to arrive tomorrow. When ever I think of her arrival I am convinced that she will want to borrow a favourite dress of mine which is purple. I get madder and madder at the thought of it, especially as she is seven months pregnant and it will not fit her. I decide to ring her up and remind her that one of the evenings we will be circle dancing an suggest that she brings a dress!
05P 39 XX.XX NS

I go and meet my friend from the station, she has had her luggage stolen! This means that for the entire visit of 5 days I have to lend her my clothes, even my knickers! I don't lend her my purple dress! I also have to lend her paper, pens, a bag, toiletries etc. I start to wonder who has manifested what? I decide that I haven't created the theft of her bag, rather that I tuned into the theft unconsciously and it filtered through me as I'm not lending her that... Of course, I could be entirely mistaken. Feel that I need to watch my thoughts.
05P 40 XX.XX NS

My friend comes into the kitchen dressed in my clothes and says to my partner 'There seem to be two Genevieves now'. I am really pissed off with her, think she is making a direct suggestion that she could replace me.
05P 41 XX.XX NS

One person in the house really got on my nerves and I really wanted them to leave. They felt evil. I was shocked by my reaction.
07P 02 XX.XX NS

I do feel a sense of calm within me, but ex-partner (of 1 month) rang to speak to friend and I felt a strong pang of jealousy that he is spending tonight with lots of male friends. It intensifies the fact that I don't have any friends to visit at home. I felt angry with him, I haven't felt jealous of him till now.
08P 01 20.00 NS

I'm aware that J and K are stoned, I feel paranoid especially when J and I go to the shop. What to buy? Why am I here? What to do? I feel I'm being watched. Teenage stoned paranoia. I feel I'm picking up on J's stoned mind.
08P 02 22.45 NS

Went round ex and friends house, ex not there. Felt angry he's not there as he's out doing stuff. I want him to grieve for me. It's like he couldn't be arsed to share time with me. I know he loved me but it didn't feel like it. Or maybe it was me. I keep having pangs of jealousy. We won't commit to each other. I wish he and others hadn't moved here now, it feels like my home - all mine and now there's all these intruders interfering, (old friends). I want them to fuck off.
08P 07 XX.XX NS

Feel withdrawn and a bit paranoid but amused by stories of people's kids
09P 02 12.00 NS

Death, Decay

Mind feels very unfocused, can't concentrate on anything and not interested in present and eyes just want to un-focus into the distance and almost as if a shroud coming down over eyes.
03P 02 16.00 NS

I think that the person lecturing us looks really odd, her face is hanging down.
05P 03 16.00 NS

Friend on phone said as if I was talking from a "dark chamber". I've been the victim of a very needy energy vampire. I feel that I've been giving, giving, giving and nothing in return.
06P 19 XX.XX NS

I still feel sick, trippy, aware of people's expressions being bendy, ugly, deformed, like I'm observing them in slow motion, it's very LSD like.
08P 01 16.30 NS

Because I've been feeling shit for a while now I'm desperate to have a new remedy. I'm starting to feel really desperate, thinking I'm going mad. How can I spend the majority of my life feeling crap, especially recently. I feel no joy when I wake each day, it makes me feel I've been alive too long.
08P 55 XX.XX NS

The sensation was of being suddenly and vigorously pursued by vast collections of entities that were very specifically bent on doing us grievous harm. I could feel them shrieking as they chased us, these horrible 'alien' monsters.
Toxicology

An old corn stalk on the ground suddenly turned into a corpse and grabbed my ankle.
Toxicology

I thought for some reason that I was going to die. I would close my eyes for awhile, then open them to make sure I wasn't dead yet. My whole life started flashing before my eyes. An old ugly nurse kept coming over and asking me the same questions over and over and it was driving me insane. 'This is hell.' I thought. I've already died and I'm in hell.
Toxicology

I spent the next few hours in hell. I was certain I was dying, or had already died. I kept thinking about heaven and hell, and lots of Christian religious themes. I was certain that since I was not 'good' as the churches of the Christian world defined it, I must be 'evil'. I went through hours of agony and terror. At some point, I apparently pissed my pants in fear. I thought when I ran out of cigarettes, I would simply cease to be. At this point, the idea didn't frighten me any longer. Death would have been a relief.
Toxicology

As I sat on the carpeted floor, my bones were seeping through my skin, I felt knives stabbing at me, and felt the pain. I literally went crazy. The words didn't come out,the pictures I saw were flashes of the devil, angels, clouds, knives.
Toxicology

The thing looked like a monkey. It had a round head, two long legs, and tail or some sort of appendage. It moved like monkey, jumping with blinding speed, and running up walls. I thought it was a silly visual, until I realized it was aware of me and was starting to interact. "What kind of chemical can do this?" I remember wondering. This is just a hallucination, right? Well, it didn't matter if it was a hallucination or a flesh-and-blood rhesus monkey, because this thing was chasing me and I was terrified. I was temporarily convinced that some sort of evil was toying with me.
Toxicology

He said that the demons were coming and I was going to go to hell. Suddenly I saw a flash of light and D.B. became a demon. The veins were popping out of his head and his eyes were dripping blood and horns came out of his head.
Toxicology

I saw the most evil looking demonic figure when I looked out the window. This thing was so scary to look at that when I would look at it an make eye contact with it it would actually make me go into convulsions. I lost all control of my body when this would make eye contact with me. I imagined that we had driven head on into an 18 wheeler and got killed. I could hear the screeching metal, then everything got quite a peaceful, but dark an evil quiet. I was terrified at this point. I actually thought we where dead. I thought we where doomed to hell for sure! The demonic figures reappeared and this time more scary than before. This time I remember claws on this creature. I kept thinking I would be dragged away. All I saw when I looked in the mirror was a horribly drug ravaged corpse, like it was me but I was transparent, like some kind of spirit of evil decent, very evil. Well after this experience I still thought I might really be dead and for about a year I wouldn't go into any cemetary because I was terrified I would find my own grave and that is when I thought I would have to finish with the death part of the trip.
Toxicology

Mind

Dreams

Physicals

Dreams

I was in the proving group talking about my fear of being ridiculed. I brought to consciousness a memory from childhood (long forgotten) of an occasion when I had been ridiculed in a group over something I'd done. I had a sense from the dream of having had a profound insight/revelation.
01P 02

I was walking up a marble staircase with two other people, iron railings on left side, wall on right - it was spiral. It seemed to me that the stairs became incredibly steep and I was only moving up by pulling on the iron rail. It became precarious. My colleagues were ahead of me, having no such problems - they were laughing at my struggle, seemingly in disbelief.
01P 02

I was responsible for someone in a large hospital complex. I was visiting and was their social worker. I was in a group with this client and had a student with me - I was the leader. The client was very difficult to be with - he had learning difficulties and was aggressive. During a dancing group his movements were chaotic and threatening, directed at me, waving arms close to me. He disappeared at one stage - I was almost relieved - my student went and found him. I left him at the dance group becaus e a minibus was due to take him home. But, just after I'd left I saw him and several other clients walking on the road. He refused to get in the minibus saying he'd find his own way home. I doubted this. I was worried about this and several other things I'd left behind in the building. My feeling was one of huge responsibility and impending misfortune - things will get out of control. Earlier in the dream, I'd been wandering around the grounds and offices of an autistic organization. On leaving their offices an autistic client came toward me and I began to make an exaggerated and aggressive hand gesture toward him, which I just caught myself doing and changed it. He said "I don't like you". He caught my unconscious intention - I felt that he saw through me.
01P 04

I was walking in the mountains and I was looking later at the photos I'd taken. The photos were like air-reconnaisance ones - from a great height. On the walk I had gone much higher than others, so my photos were of other people in the group from high above them. They were small specks. Others commented about the height I'd achieved. I had a feeling of surprise at my achievement and pride at its recollection, especially that this observation of my achievement was made by others.
01P 05

I was with my wife and met up with a homoeopathic patient of mine. She was very pleased with her treatment, and her sense of well-being since the remedy I gave her. I felt great about this, and my wife was very impressed. I felt a great ego-boost. Feeling of great surprise at my talents and abilities.
01P 08

I was with a group of people with learning difficulties and some staff. One client was being very aggressive, bullying other clients. I confronted him and he attacked me. We were out in an open space and he kept running at me to hit me. He was very tall but uncoordinated, so most of the time I was able to sidestep him. On one occasion as he came at me, I managed to time my side step so well that I got under his lunge and threw him over my shoulder. He landed in a heap on the ground. He continued to come at me but with less threat. I eyeballed him and told him that if he continued I would flatten him. Other people were around us - they commented favourably on my intervention. I had the feeling of confidence in the face of aggression, of courage.
01P 09

I was accompanying C, a female friend of my wife's, helping her out with some task. She lived by the sea, quite close to us. We bumped into D a former work colleague of mine (who I hadn't seen in ages). We talked about football, Bristol City, and I wanted to continue the conversation but C was anxious to move on. I remember feeling that C represented something completely different from D - something about working class and middle class and me caught between the two. Also, a feeling of being constrai ned by responsibility, prevented from doing what I would like to do.
01P 10

Awoke knowing that I'd dreamt but without recollection.
01P 14

I was at work. My colleague, R, had tried to avoid a piece of work he didn't want to do. When our manager was trying to allocate work and gauging our commitments, R kept quiet and she began to push the work in my direction. I knew that R was in a better position to do it and I told him so. I also told him that his strategy of keeping silent was very destructive of teamwork. I was shaking as I told him and I went out of the room unable to control my anger. I stayed in the toilet for a while waiting for my shaking to stop. I felt really good at having the courage to confront him.
01P 15

It was like a dating agency set-up. I was given the option of two women who were matched with me by the agency. They were in separate rooms and I was able to look at them without them seeing me. To my surprise they were both in their mid 30s, single, without children, and beautiful. I could not face meeting them because I had not been honest. I felt a cheat - I had not said that I was attached, and yet somehow it seemed right to me that I should be matched with a much younger woman.
01P 18

I was in a strange house, where it was suggested I try a 'ghost train' type experience. I clambered into a dark tunnel-like area and there were noises/shrieks all around me. I could see that it was a home- made, DIY environment, of cardboard and various textures of materials, but it was still quite scary. I went through on my hands and knees, making roars and growls as I did so, to cover up my fear. I came out into a room full of cushions and beanbags, and I was completely surrounded by images of me n and women having sex - pictures of penises and vaginas all around me. It was a mixture of a turn-on and depravity/disgust. I noticed a woman asleep, curled upon the floor, she was naked and deformed. She opened an eye and suddenly came for me, like an animal. I ran from her, trying to get out the way I'd come in, but she was too fast and too strong for me. She had me trapped. I realized that I had been fed to her and that she was going to rape me. I was terrified but resigned to my fate.
01P 19

Dream about the football results. Stimulated by excitement of my team doing well - Oxford United beat Bolton 6-1, Bristol City lost 6-1 at Port Vale.
01P 23

I was with my son (aged 5) walking along a road which was very high up. We sidetracked to a space where the road just dropped beneath us - a precipitous vertical drop of hundreds of feet. Sam was playing too close to the edge and I became very scared. I began to lose sense of my own boundaries, disoriented in mind and body.
01P 30

I was in the mountains with friends from the men's group. I was chanting self-affirmations ('I am beautiful, I am wild') into the rocks. I felt I was doing something skillful, solitary, and spiritual. I was looking down on the view. I joined the others eventually.
01P 30

Remember 2 dreams about horses. First one: A big horse kicks out at me as I pass. There's a lad on her. Two other men, whom I know try to beat or kick the horse, the lad almost comes off her. The lad then produces a lighter, and flicks the flame on. He threatens the horse with burning. I see red - I raged at him, that he should not treat the horse this way. My husband also went at the lad and snatched the lighter away. Dream 2: A girl on a horse is not controlling it. I was walking around a group of horses who were tacked up, trying to sort out something, she kept spoiling things and I became annoyed.
02P 05

Dreaming of mundane activities like cutting garden hedge.
03P 02

Aware of lots of dreaming but only remember this part of one dream: 3 young boys roaming around an underground car park killing people. One man trying to stop them - he was lying on the floor pretending to be already dead. As they approached him, he sprang up and threatened them with his 'weapon' - a safety razor! He held it to one of their throats but could only nick the boy's skin spot of blood. He bounced another boys head repeatedly against a concrete pillar but again the only damage was pinpricks of blood, this time in a pattern (circle of pinpricks with a clear cross in the middle) - can't remember what happened before or after.
03P 04

I was skiing down some stairs (ski slope turned into a flight of stairs) When We'd finished skiing, we couldn't find the car - felt a bit emotionally detached.
03P 05

I had 2 bras and both of them were broken - I was at a friend's house getting ready to go to a posh restaurant - wanted some needle and thread to fix bra but my friend wasn't there - knew some was in her chest drawers but felt guilty looking through her drawers for it.
03P 08

A quiet but vivid dream, where I was at a funeral. The person being buried had been a famous pilot in WW2. I wanted to put a flag on the grave, but everyone was trying to stop me. I succeeded but then woke up.
04P 02

A strong dream about a love-hate relationship with one of table tennis team members. I was shouting out and woke my wife.
04P 06

My wife commented that since the proving, she has dreamed a lot more vivid dreams.
04P 28

Dream of a male friend we want to have an affair with each other.
05P 02

I'm signing something, a consent form to do with the proving. I sign my name Jesus Scase! The pen is blotchy and I see triangles everywhere.
05P 02

Dream of a friend. She looks in the mirror and sees the reflection of an old lady looking at her and talking to her.
05P 02

People have patches of black charred skin if they have been effected by the proving a friend has such a patch on her belly. I tell the proving co-ordinator that I'm feeling weird and he presses a point on my left hand to relax me. When I wake from this dream I have a dry tightness at the back of my throat and I feel uneasy about waking up in the middle of the night and finding my way to the loo.
05P 02

Lots of dreams about domestic affairs, important politician at the proving co-ordinators house discussing water rates.
05P 03

I was playing 'Chopsticks' on the piano with another prover, we were completely untogether (I did this a lot as a child).
05P 03

A woman tells me that my son is a born arguer he overhears and stomps off, I feel relieved that it was not my fault.
05P 03

A swimming pool with snakes in it, young children were being thrown in for sport. We caught the snakes, twisted them to break their backs and saved the children.
05P 03

A man shot a poison dart at me it landed at my feet. He fully intended to try again, was marking off the days. He shot another, it bounced off the wall and came back to find me I had the feeling that it had 'my name on it'. 05P 04

A nurse held 2 phones together so that the people on either end could kiss.
05P 04

I arrive at a friend's house, all the electrical switches in my car were in the wrong place on the steering wheel, I didn't know how to put them back.
05P 04

I'm in a second hand shop and buy things that I do not need, Because I still want them.
05P 04

There was a swimming pool party with many people, even the king. We had to fill up the pool by filling the bath and emptying it into the pool. One tub seemed to almost fill the pool. Someone said a German word 'anstour' which meant yes it hurts a little but taps very lightly (I can't find a real meaning/translation for this word).
05P 05

Children have been kidnapped, one changed into a miniature sheep. We are desperately chasing the people who have just taken them just when we think we are there another disaster strikes.
05P 07

There is a wild game to play, a dangerous game, a vehicle shoots exploding darts ahead and blows up the car in front. The game is played on bikes too and soon people are shot at too. Eventually I got one in the arm, I was waiting for it to blow up. A doctor came with an antidote, we were in the States. A woman lived in a small tin hut/house. She was having sex with someone who was not her partner, he was from old days. Her partner came home and she diverted him upstairs away from her lover. As she d id a tornado struck the house and the partner was killed by a tree. Soon afterwards the lover was killed. In this house there was a glowing green wall, when I looked more closely it was green and blue like the earth. This same woman then joined in the wild game just described. The emergency services came and carried the bodies away in a big plastic bag of which they had loads. One of them eats an apple as he does, seems immune to the gore.
05P 07

A big gathering, perhaps my daughter's birthday party. I'm serving out birthday cake it won't go round, takes forever. I feel thoroughly dumped on, my daughter isn't even in sight nor my partner. Later I find out he is in the pub (he never goes to the pub). He justifies himself, I scream and shout. We are outside someone's house and two men and a woman are watching. My partner goes to find something, he is wearing my purple swimming costume and has an erection. I'm surprised he wants to go to the car looking like this.
05P 08

A girl is upset that her boyfriend has given another girl a present, a hat, it turns out that he is dating them both and they didn't know. They are very upset and throw away the bananas they are eating in defiance and protest.
05P 08

I dream of my childhood beds. Dream of a mountain road, telling people it was hard to come down in a car. Dream of a cross-roads where lots of children slept out in the roadside, each night different ones, in sleeping bags, I thought it was early to be camping out, didn't think I'd let my kids do it, was concerned that they were vulnerable.
05P 09

Dream of skipping in a large green walled space with a huge rope. A tutor is turning it and lots of children are jumping. There is an accident and the tutor goes off to get some whiskey, I take over the rope turning for a while. My mother is there and says that she had whiskey when she was in court getting divorced.
05P 09

I'm cooking a meal, my partner insists that I put slices of meat in yet, we are all veggie, even him.
05P 10

Dream of a woman, listening to her story. She had swallowed a water bomb on her 30th birthday and was waiting for it to explode. Somebody was listing herbs she could take. I saw an old school friend she said 'on a course and you have a family I would have been happy with just one of those things'.
05P 10

Waiting to catch a ferry. My partner and I are walking round the departure lounge. I am naked and wonder why people stare at me. Eventually I put a T shirt on. We are to late for the ferry, it doesn't matter, we just get another one.
05P 10

I dream of a big pot of dried lentils. It's the place that they are kept in. As I get some out I realize there are a few vegetables in there. I move things around to see what else there is and realize that there is the odd blue flame in there as if really it were a gentle fire.
05P 12

Dreamt of sitting on the loo with a policeman staring at me. I realized I hadn't closed the door. My left arm would hardly work to shut it.
05P 14

Dreamt I went along to the fourth year class. A friend and others from my year had the same idea. The lecturer was outrageous with them. Dreamt of a classroom of school children doing the most beautiful singing. My daughter was spending a day in the class above her. Dreamt of my old form teacher from secondary school. I really didn't like her.
05P 14

Dreamt of finding a house that I wanted to move to, opposite a common with woods, felt so glad to have found somewhere.
05P 15

A doctor or a dentist wants to give me an injection. I get really cross, he's going to do it almost without asking. There is a group of students watching. Eventually he does it in my arm and I feel myself go sleepy and heavy. I'm standing up and he's holding me very close so that I don't fall.
05P 17

I am or am watching a famous person who is being constantly pursued. I dream of his elaborate plans to escape. It's frustrating and miserable, yet exciting. 05P 19

There's an alternative camp, a singing friend is behaving like a born again new ager. I am leading a dancing spiral that is also climbing. My friends teenage daughter does a beautiful dance at the top before she jumps down, when I go something is wrong with my eyes, I can't see and I ask for support.
05P 19

Dream of washing in a communal space, several young men are coming in as I am topless and I suddenly feel very vulnerable. They approach me and I simply punch them each in the face.
05P 22

I am at a large old house on some kind of work shop with my partner and children. My partner is talking about going away with the children next time I go on a school weekend with some other friends. I am furious convinced that he will be unfaithful. The place is so crowed that it is impossible to relate to anyone, through the crowds I can see a few old school friends. I fell out with my partner we were in bed, about to make love, he looked up and noticed that we were in a dormitory, he just got out of bed and went off. When I went to find him, he ignored me, didn't seem to care about me. All the people seem very big and it bothers me.
05P 22

I'm walking with a group of friends, but end up walking on my own as the rest of the group form pairs. eventually I get cross with them for leaving me out. I shout and walk off, later I tell them how I feel and am quite embarrassed, but I think they should know. I tell one of these friends that I think she is using me as a platform to launch herself from. (I can hear an owl).
05P 24

Dreamt of a picture of myself which was a reflection of when I was younger, about 17 looking in the mirror. Was not sure if it was a picture or a mirror.
05P 30

Dreams of school friends, of them loving me and caring for me. I was confused didn't know where my loyalty lay with my partner or one of these male friends, wasn't sure if they were the same person.
05P 30

Dream of trying to escape, finding my way through housing estates into town streets
05P 33

Trying to get home in car, running out of fuel, asking the way.
05P 36

My sister has been killed some how and I was one of the suspects even though she'd died abroad. I'd given her a remedy, Carcinosin. She came back to talk, didn't say how she had died though.
05P 37

There is a battle. Our children are in danger, have been taken away. We ride horses to the 'school' where they have been taken. I have a knife and a sword. we are all disguised as French generals. A boy has turned into a snowy owl. There is a secret wall/hedge through which children can disappear.
05P 40

Dream of walking through a wood. I have heavy boots on. There are many baby birds on the ground. I see that lots of them are owls, barn owls. There are dozens of them, I try not to step on them. There is one that is damaged and homeless and I try to find someone to inform.
05P 42

Meeting an old friend outside a public loo. (He is very good looking and I used to fancy him when I was in my late teens). He relates to me as if I am really square and he is really wacky. (This is how it was, he was 'hip' and took loads of drugs and I wasn't quite in his 'league').
05P 42

I cut my left arm off at a gathering, perhaps when drunk. Someone else had cut both their arms off, I think I was copying. I was wondering what had possessed me, why it didn't hurt, why there had been no blood. Realizing that I needed that arm, How would I drive? How would I play tennis? (I am not a tennis player). Was glad to wake up and realize that it was a dream.
05P 43

Some student friends and I are at school. The principal says that there is a prowler next door, asks me to find his rifle. I can't and get an axe instead. Then can't find the principal to give it to him. People are crouching behind bushes and trying to cross an open space. I see the intruder on the veranda with a gun getting ready to shoot. I approach him, we are both fairly astonished. I get his gun off him, It is a friend of my parents who was my old French teacher. He runs off, I let him. We all gather back in a room at school and discuss what has happened.
05P 44

My sister and I are in bed, we are intending to make love. We are self conscious and awkward and don't know what to do. I realize that I don't want to touch her genitals.
05P 44

I was captured by the Nazis with my family. We were marched through under ground tunnels. We met a line of people clothed in black coming back the other way. They were bodies with dead eyed souls. I was frightened. We ran away no one seemed to try and stop us, yet it still felt as if we were pursued. We stowed away with a taxi driver not noticed to our surprise when we went through the check points. We got out and ran through woods and in shallow rivers, there was still something to escape from, the risk of being recaptured.
05P 51

I was looking to buy a house. I saw one I liked way beyond my price. When I saw the agent it was 100,00 less there had been a printing error. When I walked in I knew it was full of spirits. There was a lift that took you back and forward in time. There was good verses bad guys. We jammed the bad guys in the past one of them looked like captain Flint from Peter Pan. It was like the best film I had ever seen.
05P 56

Saw big spider on the ceiling of a room fear when it ran at me, said wow look at that. Fear.
06P 02

Lost in a car park, walking in streets of a town with mates. Can't find my car, going round in circles, after a night out on the town with friends, feel annoyed and stupid little worried, what's happening, go off on my own to look for the car scared of heights in the dream I am climbing around steps and stairs that are high up on a building with out a right hand rail, just a drop to the city below, I stay away from the edge, lost way in the streets, feel I know the town, big buildings, me friends and empty streets.
06P 02

Dream short one of gang warfare and knife fights.
06P 02

Went to bed that night with the intention to dream about the remedy of the proving. Like a guided meditation and dream programming. Dream; I was standing in a wheat field, at least the crop felt like wheat, bright day hedges and a long field full of wheat or other cereal crop.
06P 08

Dreamt last night of car battery acid. Woke with "acid" taste in mouth.
06P 14

Woke in night, dream of vampires, very scared, hid under the covers, fear of a few different things, can't remember what exactly even seconds after waking, but haven't been this frightened in a nightmare for years.
06P 19

Escaping from the crab cave, big crabs with big right claws, no fear now I can escape, diffuse through the walls and low overhanging rocks.
06P 40

Alarm wakes me in morning from dreams of moving house.
07P 02

Woke by dreams but indifferent to them! Just didn't seem important to write down or remember.
07P 03

Dreams of being held and warm.
07P 04

Had some very vivid dreams - but can't for the life of me remember in the slightest what they were about.
07P 07

Very deep, vivid dream - but can't remember a thing about it.
07P 08

A dream I finally remember! In a maternity ward, trying to find a bed, find one on the top floor. Give birth to a puppy. I am relieved as I didn't want another boy.
07P 13

Remembered a dream - first time for about a month. About buying a new house - with a large garden, which needed to be divided. A greenhouse with tomatoes and peppers in it - but they were dried up.
07P 37

I was walking down a track and there was a lot of baby animals everywhere, but in mini size. Ducks here, chicks there, then I went into a field. There was an enclosure like a paddling pool, a duck or a dog had just given birth with placenta next to her and a mini puppy still caught up in it. I picked it up and rubbed it to make it start breathing. Took a while, then I looked at the puppy's' siblings, and there was a mini hippo, elephant, thought this is strange.
08P 02

I was in this room in a tall office block making love to some man, but it was like going into a photo-booth, I paid to use the room whilst another man hung around kind of observing, but not, he was a security guard. There were no soft furnishings, only boxes for a window display, we kept moving around the room trying to get comfortable. Our time was up, we got dressed, the first man left and another man came in, we started making love. I enjoyed it more, we chatted. The onlooker/not onlooker man was still there. The sex wasn't loving, just to reach a goal - orgasm. Then I was in an office, listening to part of the dialogue from "Bladerunner", I realised I'd forgotten to go to work a couple of days before.
08P 02

Dreamt of cockroaches, feared them. They were behind net curtains, their bodies just lying around, maybe dead, red and shiny. I hate their antlers. I was scared and disgusted by them. I had to get someone else to remove them.
08P 04

Dreams unremembered. 08P 06

Dreamt lots, unremembered. I can't remember any dreams of the last couple of nights, feel better when I dream.
08P 07

Dreamt I was being watched.
08P 08

Dream of trying to find a toilet and the sensation of trickling liquid.
08P 08

Dreamt I was in a futuristic place, outside, there were 3 square holes like mini coffins with metal lids. Each day I had to be kept in it, (there were others next to me - like some kind of prison). The stupid thing was I had to put a knee into each hole and the rest of my body into the other (impossible, then be locked in). My knees were bent under me. My knees and head were in the holes and my body spilled on the surface of the ground. I/we were waiting for authority types to go so we could escape. There were healers around. Very bizarre, reminded me of film 'Handmaids Tale'.
08P 09

Dreams, all of sex, again in another big house. It was of desire and lust, no act, but very very strong sexual tension.
08P 10

I was in this huge house, lots of rooms and people. It seemed to be haunted with strange booming noises coming from way off. A weird old man went to show us something, it was obvious he had strange powers. He went and lay on a bed, stretched his fingers and arms towards the ceiling and drew down the decoration (painting) as though it were made up of dust and stars. It was very spooky special effects like. I was scared. The ceiling went woosh back up and settled into its picture as before. ( I was a bit freaked by this dream and drew a cartoon of the dream).
08P 10

Sexual dreams, but not fulfilled. Strong sexual tension between me and men - none I know. Fumbling, etc., but more looks and glances, flirtatious and me trying to take it further. Not happening, frustration ! No completion, powerful desire with no act.
08P 10

Dreamt I was in my bedroom in old family home (teenager), kissing a woman. Again, sense of frustration, desire and being stopped by the other person.
08P 12

Dreamt I was in a redbrick house following a lad from room to room, escaping out of windows. It was dark, he kept disappearing. Again I think it was sexual in motive.
08P 12

Dreamt I was in Wales but then it was somewhere which reminded me of Derbyshire. I went into a shop twice because I had my eye on a dark-haired lad. We got talking and went for a walk. It was all sunny and happy and energetic but calm. We made love, he was gorgeous. My ex was about, but didn't seem to mind.
08P 14

I was on a train thing, or on a platform, there were lines of 100's of people, it was a prison too. A ticket inspector woman approached everyone. I dug around in my pockets, felt panicky. I didn't have a ticket but had this ball which was okay. There was such an atmosphere of fear and panic. There was a sensation of trying to get it right, being safe mixed in with fear.
08P 20

Dreamt I fancied this lad. He worked in the garden in this big house/shop with lots of floors. I saw him briefly and put down the round basket I was carrying of chillies and garlic, to mark the spot where I'd seen him. He disappeared, I walked round and round trying to find him, but I kept bumping into beautiful women who seemed to be his ex girlfriends. I was getting lost and couldn't find my way back to the basket. Finally he appeared and I gingerly approached him, took his head in my hands, up close and told him I loved him. He said he did too. I was so happy. I woke it felt like a premonition, there is someone out there.
08P 27

I was observing room upon room of women who were trying to conceive, but they only could if they orgasmed, so self stimulation was meant to occur. I was trying to work out if it was, I couldn't tell. The conception was using the syringe method. Women were dressed in white, big soft lit halls.
08P 28

Dreamt a few dreams, where I was falling, once I hit the ground. Fear of being weightless and out of control.
08P 37

I turned over in bed and shit came out, I put it behind my bed with cucumber.
08P 44

Dreamt I was jumping and freefalling down this endless swirling silvery grey tube/shute. It was swirling round me as I dropped down down. Before I jumped someone told me, or I realised if I jumped I would go back in time. It felt like a major leap of faith to jump. Finally I snapped out of it to wake in this dreary room of wooden furniture. I looked at a clock and calendar, I'd gone back in time one month.
08P 54

Changing dirty nappy of large 2 year old called Lydia (not a child known to me) - noticed smell while arranging cushion on tiny chair for smaller, older girl. Asked the mother if I could help. Poo 2 dark brown speckled cakes. Hard to cope as surroundings poor and unhygienic, was worried about getting all disinfected.
09P 05

Small boy playing in round bright orange space craft. Small girl had to walk miles across country to see friend at seaside. I follow in car - red lorry or bus backs into parked car - I bang side of red lorry and it moves on. Looking up at very tall trees. expecting thunderstorm.
09P 07

Woke from dreams of tiny coloured birds (American) singing beautifully. More birds, larger, caged, cage seemed too small - imagined these very lively talkative birds getting even larger - would need huge cage . Planning to build extension onto house (not mine - strange bungalow on hill top).
09P 11

Waking from dreams, vivid, fading: Lots of colour - mostly yellows. Decorating child's room with wall painting. In shop with many stairs. A sign, LWS which I kept misinterpresting as "Wills", so missing way to food shop. Driving home on narrow lanes with crops growing over hedges (GMO's?).
09P 15

Dream recalled of being nervous entering a room to join a meeting. Square table. Men in suits. My husband.
09P 23

Black and white dreams - could not hold on to them - Black and white dreams are unusual - only remember one before, many years ago, and that had some yellow in it.
09P 25

Pity for young girl sitting on floor naked, unaware she was exposing her (deformed?) sexual parts (she looked as if she was made of clay).
09P 29

While dropping off to sleep had image of horse's head looking as if flayed, like an anatomical drawing. woke up startled - a disturbing image.
09P 32

Finding an empty seat on end of row, had to read aloud to a group of people but had to stop because some words had been replaced with odd symbols that I could not interpret quickly enough to keep the flow going.
09P 33

Slowly waking (aching bones) from dream: Holding down man so someone could tie his hands (handcuff). Did not want to hurt him as he was nice man. Quite young, dark, slim.
09P 36

Large black and white pigs at bottom of our garden - was afraid but they did not move up the garden.
09P 38

Dream walking down city street looking for my office block - was told that sometimes a building disappears and reappears. Feel this dream had been dreamed before.
09P 51

Vivid dreams. People quarrelling. Reconciliation. I was conciliator? Period setting. I was some way in charge, responsible. Someone was sprinking flakes of some kind of waxy substance all over floors - I was very annoyed - my authority being challenged? I was picking it up and trying to remove it.
09P 53

Woke from vivid dreams. My son given some kind of spiritual token. He becomes softer, more gentle. Says he will start studying things he missed. Was shown bright artifacts in secondary colours - golds, purples, greens, to do with children.
09P 55

Waking dream - vivid. Travelling to Misha's, surrealistic, long, rambling. alligators in huge water garden. Stepped on large blue stone, it was an alligator, had to be careful, but not frightened. Running barefoot like child on grass with flowers. Then slept again, return to same or similar dream.
09P 60

Waking dream vivid, anxious, bordering on nightmarish. My husband had decided our house not good enough, had to be demolished. I saw it razed to ground, bare earth, mess, worried how to tell my mother. Realised was only dream - house restored.
09P 65

I walk out of wooded park-land where my home is into an urbanized area in which I loose my way. In order to return, and because the way I have just walked via back streets, is unrecognizable to me, my sole option is to follow the main streets until I begin to remember the way back via arterial routes. This I do while darkness begins to fall. Realizing that my return is taking much longer than I had anticipated, I begin to march along the streets and eventually out of the city. The road is no longer lit, and as it changes into country track, blackness of the star lit night awes me. I feel apprehension welling up within me, as if something strange, unknown and maybe magical could happen - perhaps an encounter with beings from another dimension.
10P 02

Mind

Dreams

Physicals

Sensorium Inner head Outer head Sight and eyes Hearing and ears Smell and nose Lower part of face Face Teeth & gums Taste and tongue Inner Mouth Throat Appetite, thirst and desires Belching and nausea Stomach and hypochondria Abdomen Rectum and stool Urine Male sexual organs Female sexual organs Voice & larynx, trachea & bronchia Respiration Cough Inner chest and lungs Heart, pulse and circulation Outer chest Neck and back Upper limbs Lower limbs Limbs in general Sleep Temperature and weather Skin Attacks & Periodicity Rest, Position & Motion Generals

Sensorium

Dizziness on standing near desk at work. It lasted a second or two - I sat down, dizziness stopped.
01P 06 XX.XX NS

When preparing lunch with another of the group, felt jittery and slightly trembly - she did as well.
02P 03 13.00 NS

Dizziness in my third eye.
05P 02 15.30 NS

So dizzy after walking.
05P 03 14.30 NS

Dizzy sensation at the front of my head, a light headed feeling.
05P 04 XX.XX NS

I'm still very dizzy in my forehead especially if I'm leaning forward.
05P 05 XX.XX NS

Cut my finger whilst cooking. I get very faint which lasts at least ten minutes lying down and half an hour needing to be slow I do tend to faintness.
05P 10 18.00 OS

Very dizzy standing up, actually need to lie down.
05P 12 13.00 NS

Feeling dizzy as I cook.
05P 14 XX.XX NS

Incredible dizzyness need to sit or lie down, feel the same two hours later having been lying down the entire time.
05P 32 12.30 IOS

Inner Head

Headache after walking on Glastonbury Tor, in very cold wind. Pain at front of head across left eye and forehead.
01P 16 XX.XX NS

Strong desire for coffee, had 2 with the result of a headache.
02P 09 13.00 OS

Crushing pain in head as if from a metal helmet - over vertex, forehead and temples - with nausea in solar plexus.
03P 01 15.30 NS

Mild stabbing in left temple.
03P 01 15.30 NS

Dragging headache over left eye - felt as if left side of face and eye were being dragged down.
03P 02 14.30 NS

Forehead feels bruised.
03P 14 16.30 NS

Sharp heavy pain inside head with nausea.
03P 20 24.00 NS

My head and lungs feel stuffy - bunged up inside and heavy.
03P 21 XX.XX NS

Excruciating headache as if a nail was being hammered into each temple and nausea from coffee. Wanted coffee for first time since took remedy.
03P 24 14.30 NS

I had a blocked nose and developed a headache at the back of the neck just above the top of the neck.
04P 20 XX.XX NS

Heaviness in third eye.
05P 01 16.00 NS

Numbing headache across my third eye, numbing and cold.
05P 01 18.00 NS

My forehead is numb painfully numb.
05P 01 20.30 NS

I still have a headache across my forehead.
05P 01 22.00 NS

I still have a dizzy, nauseous sensation in my head.
05P 04 XX.XX NS

On going dizzy sensation in my forehead.
05P 04 XX.XX NS

05P 06 XX.XX NS

Have felt dizzy in forehead all morning.
05P 07 XX.XX NS

Fizzy dizzyness in forehead like an untuned TV.
05P 07 XX.XX NS

Pain behind eyes after eating a cake from the bakers (i.e. it is full of white sugar).
05P 25 XX.XX NS

Tension around back of head, neck is tight.
06P 01 15.30 NS

Pressure over eyes, headachy.
06P 01 15.30 NS

Right, frontal, pressive, expansive pain in head.
06P 01 18.00 NS

Headache above eyes, neck stiff.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

Heaviness in occiput.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

Head pain, right, frontal side above right eye.
06P 05 XX.XX NS

Headache, frontal, after eating.
06P 06 XX.XX NS

Woke at 3 a.m. With terrible hangover headache, (very unusual) 1 pints of lager last night.
06P 06 XX.XX NS

A few shooting pains - mainly right side of head.
07P 01 15.30 NS

Sensation of crackling in head, especially right side. Crackling feeling in left sinus.
07P 01 16.00 NS

In the afternoon got a terrible headache - mainly right side. Worse for movement. Yelled at kids a lot. Just want some space and some rest.
07P 26 XX.XX NS

Had a horrible hang over - didn't drink very much.
07P 37 XX.XX NS

Left side of head felt like it was sweeping off or I was being pulled over from top left side of head.
08P 01 15.30 NS

Head feels incredibly heavy and large, like a baby's wobbling on a thin post, unbalanced.
08P 01 16.30 NS

Headache in left temple.
08P 16 XX.XX NS

Ache at front of head - pressive - this passed - sensation at occiput - aching. Some tingling. A purple shape (triangle?).
09P 01 15.30 NS

Sickish headache forehead to vertex.
09P 07 24.00 NS

Slight headache over left eye - pressive.
09P 29 17.30 NS

Outer Head

Slight swelling on back of head - near left ear (where arm of glasses end), very sensitive, worse for touching. Its like the start of a boil.
01P 10 10.00 NS

Hair has gone really curly.
08P 15 XX.XX NS

Sight & Eyes

Visual disturbance on closing my eyes - shafts of light in bright colours, forming triangles.
01P 01 15.30 NS

Sensation of fading light.
01P 01 15.30 NS

Itching under left eye.
01P 01 15.30 NS

Eyes feel heavy.
01P 01 XX.XX NS

Eyes, field of vision felt scattered. I was driving home, and I had no central focus. I felt as if I had to stay in inside lane on motorway, did not trust my perception.
01P 03 XX.XX NS

Startled on waking by brightness. I awoke with a start - it seemed very light. I wondered who had turned the light on but it was the daylight.
01P 09 07.30 NS

Awoke in surprise at the brightness of the light coming through the window. Similar to yesterday but I was not startled.
01P 10 07.15 NS

Sight feels clearer. Clarity of vision, though its the same. Everything seems more defined.
02P 01 15.30 NS

Eyes feel dry and strained.
02P 01 17.30 NS

When I started walk, eyes started to water profusely for about 10 minutes.
02P 02 07.30 NS

When walking dogs - eyes streamed immediately that I went outside. Lasted for 5 minutes.
02P 03 07.30 NS

Feel tired today especially in the eyes. They feel tired and dry.
02P 13 XX.XX NS

Right eye watering. Left eye dry and burning - wanted to blink all time, as if not enough moisture and feels swollen with sensation of pressure behind it and in left sinus (forehead and cheek bone).
03P 01 15.30 NS

Sensation of eyelash in left eye - irritated but no eyelash in eye. Eyes feel tired and swollen.
03P 01 16.30 NS

Driving home saw a buzzard - looked big with stunning wings - transfixed by it. Colours look really bright so almost hurt eyes.
03P 01 16.30 NS

Eyes feel tired, swollen, puffy and red as if had no sleep at all, but people said they looked really clear and bright.
03P 02 09.00 NS

Sensation as if there was an eyelash in left eye - no eyelash there. Eye feels dry as if I need to blink frequently to moisten surface.
03P 04 20.00 NS

Tic/twitching in right eye - upper lid outside corner.
03P 04 23.00 NS

Right eye stinging.
03P 05 20.00 NS

Eyes burning slightly again today especially right eye.
03P 05 XX.XX NS

Eye driving me nuts - getting sore and watering but nothing in eye.
03P 06 10.00 NS

Eyes feel like they're bulging, swollen, smarting - want to shut them they feel so tired. Left eye feels as if has eyelash in it - upper outer corner again.
03P 06 XX.XX NS

Eyes feeling swollen and tired and ache a bit if I roll them as if I'm starting flu. Partner says my eyes have been looking more tired and red than normal in last few days.
03P 07 XX.XX NS

Skin under both eyes is puffy and swollen (not upper eyelids as last few days). Patch of dry flaking skin under left eye.
03P 11 09.00 NS

Eyeballs feel very swollen, behind eyes and upper eyelids. They still look tired but not as much as yesterday evening. The rims of the eyelids upper and lower are red.
03P 14 XX.XX NS

Eyes feel like a bull frog - as if they're bulging out of my head and they look really tired and puffy (not surprising with all the lack of sleep).
03P 25 XX.XX NS

I experience bright light in my eyes, images over my mouth of a different structure, rushes of energy into my solar plexus.
05P 01 15.30 NS

I have a sensation in my eyes of cold light as if I'd been looking at the sun for too long.
05P 01 15.30 NS

My eyes are starting to hurt and there are tremblings in my whole body.
05P 01 16.00 NS

Cold ache in left eye.
05P 02 15.30 NS

Lots of yawning and runny eyes.
05P 02 XX.XX NS

Pain in eyeballs.
05P 03 16.00 NS

On my journey home I noticed far more of the view than normal, noticed things that I didn't usually see, far more detail, Seeing beyond my usual field of vision.
05P 03 17.30 NS

Dry scratchy eyes, they feel red.
05P 03 22.30 NS

I have pain in both my eyeballs as I'm eating my dinner.
05P 05 19.00 NS

My eyes are sticky.
05P 05 XX.XX NS

Eye pain as before but less intense. When eyes are closed it's worse.
05P 10 XX.XX NS

Eyes moist.
06P 01 15.30 NS

Light got darker, as if the sun went in. Black objects, flecks shoot across vision on the right hand side.
06P 01 15.30 NS

Colours seem very bright. Lights of cars very bright on the motorway.
06P 01 18.00 NS

Eyes crusty in the morning. Inner canthi, pick crusts from them.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

Clearness of vision - Deepness of vision -Tingling and freshness in eyes.
07P 01 15.30 NS

Eyes, sensation as if ability to focus is much better, different and more precise. Don't want to shut my eyes.
07P 01 16.00 NS

Eyes focus in a strange way - awkward - takes time but very clear (eyes feel as if I had taken acid). Spaced - focused/unfocused.
07P 01 18.00 NS

Eyes very dry and still - they feel 'old'.
07P 02 XX.XX NS

Pupils feel like they are going in and out a lot a kind of darkness when I change from close to distant vision. Focus. A shooting pain in right eye, through middle.
07P 02 XX.XX NS

Eyes still feel very weird - eyes watering.
07P 03 XX.XX NS

Eyes feel deep and tired.
07P 04 XX.XX NS

Eyes still feel a bit funny if I focus hard or have to look at anything for to long.
07P 20 XX.XX NS

Left eye is a bit bloodshot, inner side of iris feels dry. It is not helped by me as I keep putting my fingers in my eyes to wipe out sleep which there seems to be a lot of. Left eye now feels sore and dry.
08P 02 22.45 NS

Dry eyes, left eye more dry and still a little bloodshot.
08P 03 08.00 NS

Eyes still dry, need lubrication.
08P 04 XX.XX NS

Still putting my fingers in my eyes a lot to remove sleep, they feel dry too.
08P 04 XX.XX NS

Both eye rims feel dry and smarting, need more lubrication.
08P 04 XX.XX NS

Up, still feel knackered, eyes are red especially left one, itchy, bit bloodshot.
08P 37 XX.XX NS

Eyes still red, on waking felt gritty.
09P 05 08.00 OS

Saw kaleidoscope effect with eyes closed, also figures, faint, outlined in colour against black.
09P 05 22.30 NS

Eyes felt a bit dry, though they are watering.
09P 30 05.30 NS

Eyes feel strained.
10P 01 15.30 NS

Hearing & Ears

Hearing is very acute especially when doors open or close to the extent that I'm startled by it.
02P 02 15.00 NS

Hearing ultra acute - baby coughed and I jumped - cough felt like a shock that went right through my system.
03P 01 20.00 NS

Hearing in left ear seems muffled with an outward pressure pain in ear my left. My ear often feels as if hearing blocked, but usually just with a cold.
03P 02 15.00 NS

Hearing very muffled.
03P 02 17.00 NS

Occasional stabbing in left ear with muffled hearing.
03P 02 23.00 NS

Mild stabbing pain in right ear.
03P 04 20.00 NS

Felt as if an insect was crawling out of my left ear during the night - made me think ear might be healing - still mildly blocked in morning.
03P 04 XX.XX NS

There is crackling in my ears when I swallow.
05P 01 15.30 NS

I'm still aware of pain in my eyes and also have pain in my ear lobes.
05P 01 18.30 NS

Wax in my ears, loads of it.
05P 03 11.00 NS

I have a deafness for words and a feeling of fullness and warmth in my right ear.
05P 03 14.00 NS

Fullness and popping in my ears whilst driving home.
05P 03 17.30 NS

Far away noises are obvious, easy to hear.
05P 04 XX.XX NS

Feeling of fullness in ears, the sensation is of slight pressure.
05P 10 XX.XX NS

Incredibly dizzy and ringing in ears for 10 minutes.
05P 26 XX.XX NS

Noise of the door alarm in the shop made me jump.
06P 01 18.00 NS

Noise is irritating.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

Hear buzzards again - have to go and look at them. I'd like to be free like them. Sense of hearing very acute - heightened - for birds and a tractor sounded deafening.
07P 02 XX.XX NS

Notice a bird of prey's call. Hearing acute.
07P 02 XX.XX NS

Left ear feels as if there is a spot in the ear canal.
07P 18 XX.XX NS

Left ear feels as if there is a spot in it.
07P 23 XX.XX NS

Right ear seems to have a lot of wax in it. Left ear aches on swallowing.
08P 05 XX.XX NS

Left ear bunged up and aching.
08P 54 XX.XX NS

Tinnitis in right ear briefly - half minute or so.
09P 01 17.30 NS

Right ear blocked with watery discharge, a bit sore.
09P 02 08.00 NS

I could hear more distant voices better than close ones.
09P 02 11.00 NS

Ear worse on swallowing while driving.
09P 02 18.00 NS

Ear still sore and deaf. Crust on outer ear.
09P 02 22.00 NS

Had watery discharge from right ear.
09P 02 23.30 NS

Inner ear feels hot.
09P 03 12.00 NS

Thought I heard the telephone ring once.
09P 05 22.30 NS

Right ear - watery discharge! Do not believe this!! Tastes salty.
09P 29 17.30 NS

Unpleasant pinching pain behind ears worse cold air, better warm air - went into warm shop, and pain went.
09P 53 XX.XX NS

Slight sharp pain in right ear with ringing tinnitis.
09P 60 XX.XX NS

Smell & Nose

Nose (right nostril worse) feels bunged up and head congested.
03P 06 XX.XX NS

Nose is blocked.
03P 14 XX.XX NS

I had a blocked nose and was thinking of the proving.
04P 06 20.00 NS

Pressure around my nose either side of the centre.
05P 04 XX.XX NS

My nose is tingling as if I'm about to get a cold.
05P 05 XX.XX NS

I want to press either side of my nose, painful on pressure.
06P 01 18.00 NS

Painful spot, pimple on right of nose no pus, red, worse pressure.
06P 04 XX.XX NS

Blocked nose, worse on the left. Greenish/clear discharge. Better for sneezing.
06P 45 XX.XX NS

Fire lit at home I can't stand the smell of burning plastic coming from it - other don't seem to mind.
07P 02 XX.XX NS

Nose still feels crusty - inside. As if I should pick it - Blowing it will do nothing.
07P 19 XX.XX NS

I'm obsessed with the smell of lavender.
08P 02 XX.XX NS

Garlic cooking at college, I normally love the smell, but it smells rancid, foul and impure.
08P 03 10.00 NS

I completely love the smell of lavender at the moment.
08P 03 XX.XX NS

I've got intensely itchy/tickly nasal passages and roof of mouth, lots of sneezing and clear discharge. Like when I have an allergy. Seems better for burning sandalwood oil. Left side of nose is blocked.
08P 06 XX.XX NS

Nose is blocked with sticky discharge.
08P 11 XX.XX NS

Sticky green discharge caught in left side of nose and throat, very gluey.
08P 12 XX.XX NS

Slight nosebleed, left nostril, bright red.
09P 04 21.30 OS

Coryza - wanted to sneeze.
09P 05 16.00 NS

Nose streaming, irritating, with post nasal drip, went on for some hours. Better for blowing nose.
09P 62 XX.XX NS

Lower Part of Face

Lips burning, salty and dry.
01P 01 15.30 NS

Swollen jaw on the right side - no visible swelling but sensitive to touch.
01P 02 XX.XX NS

Left jaw hinge aching.
03P 01 15.30 NS

Want to wet my lips, lips feel smooth. Lower lip seems fuller.
06P 01 16.00 NS

Top edge of lip, sore, dry, smarting.
08P 08 XX.XX NS

Lips are dry, I keep chewing or licking my lips if nervous or I think someone's observing me.
08P 53 XX.XX NS

Face

I went to see an Osteopath. She said that my complexion was 'yellow - liverish'.
01P 20 XX.XX NS

Face hot and flushed.
03P 14 XX.XX NS

Definite funny feelings around my nose and mouth.
05P 01 16.00 NS

I have pain in my eyebrows like a cold, pressing feeling.
05P 04 XX.XX NS

I have a flat red spot under my left eye.
05P 05 XX.XX NS

Every evening at about 7 p.m. Face is red, flushed. Cheeks and forehead especially, and back of neck is stiff and painful.
06P 06 XX.XX NS

Swollen itchy, red, painful to touch lump by left side of nose/cheeks.
08P 21 XX.XX NS

Red pimple above left eyebrow.
09P 05 XX.XX NS

Teeth & Gums

Teeth at the back on the bottom right were aching.
01P 02 XX.XX RS

I had a throbbing toothache in my right lower jaw, and had to take Arnica and Aconite for relief.
04P 13 XX.XX NS

The toothache continued and I continued to take Arnica and Aconite. I also felt my head was very blocked up.
04P 14 XX.XX NS

Woke up with bleeding gums and realize they have spontaneously bled frequently during the proving. Normally they bleed (if they bleed) when I'm cleaning my teeth, which is not happening.
05P 36 XX.XX NS

Taste and Tongue

I have a metallic taste in my mouth from eating Christmas cake.
05P 03 14.00 NS

Sensation as if tip of tongue as if burnt.
06P 01 22.00 NS

Tip of tongue felt sore - burnt and red.
07P 13 XX.XX NS

Tongue sore back, left side.
09P 02 22.00 NS

Inner Mouth

Mouth dry.
02P 01 15.30 NS

Sensation of numbness radiating from the tablet affecting roof of mouth and tongue. Turned into sensation of intense vibration starting where tablet touched roof mouth/tongue then extended to tip of tongue and lips.
03P 01 15.30 NS

Mouth dry and feel thirsty.
03P 01 18.30 NS

Funny metallic burning in the roof of my mouth (right side) where the tongue touches.
11.30 p.m.
05P 12 23.30 NS

I've had the feeling that I've got a hair stuck in my mouth a lot the last few days.
05P 22 XX.XX NS

Dry mouth. Right upper molars - teeth feel as if bones scraping together.
07P 01 16.00 NS

Metallic taste in mouth.
07P 01 18.00 NS

Roof of mouth dry and sore, worse swallowing and cold air.
08P 06 XX.XX NS

Mouth ulcer, right side, front of upper jaw above wisdom tooth, worse for touch.
08P 12 XX.XX NS

Mouth feels dry.
10P 01 15.30 NS

Throat

Throat sore, tickle - sensation of fullness, clearing throat regularly
01P 05 09.00 OS

Throat raw and felt constricted - soon wore off.
03P 01 09.00 OS

Throat sore and raw around throat chakra better after an hour but 3rd eye chakra instead felt bruised and heavy.
03P 04 20.00 NS

Sore throat with swollen glands in right side of neck and desire for ice cream.
03P 05 09.00 OS

I felt that my throat was sore and also I had toothache in my right lower jaw.
04P 12 21.00 NS

Feeling dry tightness at the back of my throat.
05P 02 01.00 NS

Something is extending my throat, more on the left side.
05P 02 10.00 NS

When I opened the door to a friend my throat became very dry and tight.
05P 20 XX.XX NS

Woke with sensation of "lump" "ball" of phlegm in throat, difficulty to swallow it.
06P 04 XX.XX NS

Throat is dry.
08P 02 08.30 NS

Appetite, Thirst & Desires

Desire for alcohol - for cold sweet drinks, dry white wine.
01P 01 XX.XX NS

Desire for alcohol - cold white wine especially.
01P 02 19.00 NS

No desire for wine or beer. Desire for cider - cold, sweet, thin liquids.
01P 13 XX.XX NS

Felt that I wanted something to eat, now! Wanted something, but do not know what It is. Thought I wanted a stir-fry - but didn't enjoy eating it. Husband was eating ice-cream - had a strong desire for this and ate some. Felt very picky with food - nothing satisfied (except the ice-cream).
02P 02 18.00 OS

Strong desire for coffee. Couldn't settle till had one, then felt really relaxed.
02P 03 XX.XX OS

Pre-menstrual symptoms are worse. (They have been getting much better since homoeopathic treatment). Unsatisfied appetite. Nothing is enough, always feeling hungry throughout the day.
02P 04 XX.XX OS

Craving for apples, ate 4.
02P 05 XX.XX NS

A strong craving for apples today, eaten 5 of them.
02P 06 XX.XX NS

Desire for coffee again.
02P 08 07.30 NS

Aversion to having any margarine on bread, etc. Over the last couple of days have noticed that it tastes awful.
02P 10 XX.XX NS

Desire for sweets, particularly chocolate.
02P 10 XX.XX NS

Aversion to margarine. Ate mainly fruit all day.
02P 12 XX.XX NS

For lunch strong aversion to any fats, especially margarine and cheese. Didn't know what to eat.
02P 13 12.00 NS

Desire for fruit especially apples.
02P 17 XX.XX NS

Not sure what I want to eat - quite hungry but no idea what I fancy - maybe small "piccy" tasty bits. Ate something but it didn't satisfy me.
03P 02 21.00 NS

At pub can't stand the smell of cigarette smoke (doesn't usually bother me) eyes watering and smarting and throat smarting.
03P 06 21.00 NS

Cigarette smoke making me feel sick - strong aversion to smell making me feel really irritable. Can't bear even mild smell on partner's clothes.
03P 07 XX.XX NS

Desire for ice cream - normal for me, but for the first time in years I didn't cough as soon as I'd finished eating it. This ice cream cough disappeared for the rest of the proving, but came back a few weeks after the rest of the proving symptoms had disappeared.
03P 10 21.00 AS

Wanting to drink tea for the last couple of days - normally I can't stand tea!
03P 11 XX.XX NS

Really craving tea, but we've run out so I'm feeling even more irritable.
03P 12 XX.XX NS

Still craving tea and aversion to coffee (strongly opposite to normal).
03P 19 XX.XX NS

I really want to eat ice cream which I do, and it makes my headache feel better.
05P 01 18.30 NS

I don't seem hungry but know I need to eat I don't mind that my food arrives after everyone else's.
05P 01 18.30 NS

I stop off at the garage and buy lemon bon bons which I have not eaten since I was about 16.
05P 03 17.30 NS

I think my appetite has dwindled.
05P 07 XX.XX NS

Feel completely happy to start eating tortilla chips at midnight. My partner says that my whole eating pattern is out of character.
05P 10 24.00 NS

I would really like some ice-cream.
05P 10 XX.XX NS

At lunchtime I get a dry sharpness in my throat that isn't better for drinking.
05P 24 13.00 NS

Appetite down a bit.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

Sensitive to cigarette smoke in the morning. Can taste it, yuk.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

Smoked a lot of joints last night, not smoked since New Year. Hammered last night.
06P 03 XX.XX NS

Had a lot to drink last night, whiskey, Jack Daniels, and beer. It got to me. Really hungover and feel vacant this morning, no headache but "squeezed". Feel really strange this morning. Eyes bloodshot.
06P 03 XX.XX NS

Appetite not usual, still reduced.
06P 04 XX.XX NS

Eat some sweets, taste very sweet (and good).
07P 02 11.30 NS

Very thirsty - drank loads of sparkling water and cranberry juice.
07P 02 22.00 NS

Very hungry.
07P 02 XX.XX NS

Great hunger on and off all day.
07P 03 XX.XX NS

Very hungry - desire red meat.
07P 04 16.00 NS

Still hungry for and craving sweets, which taste very sweet.
07P 07 XX.XX NS

Have been drinking too much red wine during the evenings. Too much tea and coffee during the day.
07P 23 XX.XX NS

Strong craving for liquorice comfits, parents ate them when I was a kid.
08P 04 XX.XX NS

All that dried fruit I craved yesterday, I can't bear it now. I chucked a dried peach on the floor of the car. I have no appetite, had potatoes for tea. Can't be arsed to cook, it doesn't interest me and I'm so tired. Want to be taken out for a meal. I want to be looked after tonight, loved and held and cared for. I want to cry but can't, the tears of pain in my heart are there but do not flow.
08P 07 XX.XX NS

I ate some dried fruit yesterday which I'd craved, it gave me stomach cramps also in the night.
08P 07 XX.XX NS

I really want home-made rice pudding the way mum makes it. Milky, sweet, runny.
08P 08 XX.XX NS

No appetite, quite thirsty. Drank 2 chamomile and raspberry leaf teas.
08P 08 XX.XX NS

Desire caffeinated tea, not herbal (which is the only tea I drink).
08P 15 XX.XX NS

Desire sweet things after dinner. I wanted a big home-made pudding, sponge or pie. I went off on one about how mum always made them when I was a kid. I wanted that warm sweet comfiness of when I was a kid. All golden.
08P 15 XX.XX NS

Desire puddings and sweet things again. Childhood memories again, keep remembering stuff like the drought in 1977, how mum used to make puddings when I was small. It's all remembered in a golden happy light, and I keep telling everyone them.
08P 16 XX.XX NS

This is unusual, no appetite for breakfast. Usually I come downstairs and have breakfast immediately, but I couldn't be bothered and tidied the kitchen.
08P 20 XX.XX NS

Desire mashed potato and celeriac.
08P 20 XX.XX NS

Was very hungry, had two courses for dinner at the pub.
09P 01 19.00 NS

Stuffed full with food, preferred warm food.
09P 02 13.30 NS

Eating too much. Second helping of pasta.
09P 03 18.30 NS

Made fried egg sandwich for lunch.
09P 04 12.00 NS

Eating stodgy bun.
09P 06 10.30 NS

Had pasta and creme caramel for lunch - stuffed full.
09P 06 13.00 NS

My husband made a tuna salad for supper. Could not face it. Normally like Tuna very much.
09P 06 XX.XX NS

Was hungry. Had 2 helpings of bread pudding at lunch.
09P 29 13.00 OS

I had roast beef and enjoyed (had not enjoyed beef for years, and rarely eat it. This was a strong desire and great enjoyment.
09P 52 XX.XX OS

Hiccough, Belching, Nausea & Vomiting

Gagging in my throat, feeling nauseous.
01P 01 XX.XX NS

Flatulence, bloated stomach after eating.
01P 01 XX.XX OS

I've had a bloated feeling all day. Also been suffering from wind.
02P 10 XX.XX NS

Feel mildly nauseous again, very unusual for me.
03P 25 XX.XX NS

I'm feeling nauseous in my solar plexus.
05P 05 12.00 NS

Feeling nauseous after lunch.
05P 06 14.00 NS

Did another meditation, I thought I could throw up, felt something big was rising from my solar plexus, with nausea. Thought I would have to run to the loo, but it passed.
08P 01 16.00 NS

Better for eating, more grounded, the nausea gone.
08P 01 20.00 NS

Still a little nauseous, feels like thick liquid rising in lower throat, then goes down.
08P 01 22.00 NS

Nauseous quite strongly, better leaning over at waist height.
08P 22 XX.XX NS

Felt nausea, hypogastrium whilst driving home too fast in 40 area.
09P 06 09.45 NS

Slight nausea and sick headache.
09P 09 XX.XX NS

Nausea, umbilical area, went after food.
09P 60 10.00 NS

Scrobiculum & Stomach

After eating, had slight cramping pains in tummy. Felt uncomfortable, lasting 20 minutes.
02P 03 XX.XX NS

Felt nauseous in the pit of my stomach for 30 minutes. No apparent cause.
02P 06 16.00 OS

Aching in pit of stomach after eating breakfast.
02P 07 08.00 NS

Early lunch, felt very full after eating and felt nauseous.
02P 07 12.00 NS

My stomach is really bloated. There is a dull ache in my abdomen. I feel uncomfortable.
02P 08 07.30 NS

For 2.5 hours my stomach has got more and more bloated, since eating dinner. Lot of rumbling and wind.
02P 11 18.00 NS

Stomach again very bloated worse after eating. Wind is also worse after eating.
02P 11 XX.XX NS

Feel bloated after breakfast. Bloatedness lasted all day.
02P 12 XX.XX NS

Sensation of nausea in pit of stomach. Ate fruit for breakfast. Not much hunger, just feel sick.
02P 12 XX.XX NS

Not really interested in food but ate and felt sick. Ate some fruit, felt really bloated, not myself.
02P 13 18.00 NS

Again got up feeling bloated. This is continual now.
02P 14 08.30 NS

Bloating has diminished today.
02P 15 XX.XX NS

Stomach feels strange - hungry but not hungry.
07P 01 18.00 NS

Stomach feels strychnine like, I feel nauseous in solar plexus, feels metallic.
08P 01 16.30 NS

Abdomen

Dull ache starting at both sides of lower abdomen extending down to inner thighs. It's unusual to have this now as I normally get this after period starts.
02P 04 XX.XX NS

Bloating back with a vengeance. All through the day.
02P 20 XX.XX NS

PMS bad. Bloating, increased appetite and a strong dragging sensation in the lower abdomen.
02P 21 XX.XX NS

Cramping pain in solar plexus with nausea and numb 'greasy' sensation in mouth.
03P 01 18.30 NS

Spleen felt bruised.
03P 02 09.00 NS

Both kidneys aching/burning as if I'm overworked/stressed but I'm
not. 03P 04 XX.XX NS

Griping pains in the bowel area.
04P 04 06.30 NS

Sensation of tightness under umbilicus.
05P 10 XX.XX NS

After eating lunch I got up and could barely straighten up because I got a stomach cramp in my intestines across the top of my pelvis.
05P 20 12.30 NS

Sensation in hypogastrium after food, hard pain, sharp worse for pressure.
06P 01 20.00 NS

Abdomen, sensation like a round circle, from bottom of ribs (sternum) to below belly button. Much worse movement and worse for doubling up, no desire for stool, a little better if movement is continued for a while.
06P 01 22.00 NS

Pain in hypogastrium, centre, below sternum, after eating, feels full and hard, better for walk up the hill. Not comfortable sitting.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

Cramping ache around solar plexus area. Just drunk red wine, and I haven't eaten dinner yet. I'm hungry, it hurts a lot, makes me feel quiet and sad. Acknowledging that made it ease and pass.
08P 22 XX.XX NS

Cramps round bowel, lower intestine, uterus, thought it was menstrual cramps but not. Very painful, better passing stool, worse before and after breakfast.
08P 27 XX.XX AS

Waistband very tight. Had to change clothes.
09P 08 XX.XX NS

Ache at left side - waist level - worse bending, better continued movement.
09P 08 XX.XX NS

The pain on my left side was worse for dropping chin to chest.
09P 09 XX.XX NS

Sickish stomach pain in umbilical area - had to run to loo at same time, thought I had a stomach bug. Was loose, but not diarrhoea. Pain better in an hour or so.
09P 59 17.30 NS

Rectum & Stool

Stool - strong, sweet smelling, yellow-brown, loose.
01P 05 09.00 NS

Very loose stools, yellow, without bulk.
01P 11 XX.XX NS

Bit constipated - stool small pellets.
03P 06 XX.XX NS

Diarrhoea all day - stool loose and dark.
03P 07 XX.XX NS

Acute diarrhoea.
04P 04 XX.XX NS

Itching anus after sugar. (i.e. passing a stool having been eating sugar.) I noticed this two evenings ago too.
05P 10 XX.XX NS

Rapid expulsion of bowels.
05P 13 XX.XX NS

Diarrhoea.
05P 39 15.00 NS

Constipation this morning.
06P 03 XX.XX NS

A lot of wind (farts).
07P 02 XX.XX NS

Still more wind (flatulence) than normal.
07P 12 XX.XX NS

Rectum sore and stinging, worse in the evening and afternoon.
08P 03 XX.XX NS

Specks of blood after stool, no pain or soreness.
08P 04 XX.XX NS

Watery blood after passing stool, very painful like tearing. Ow.
08P 09 XX.XX NS

Anus sensation of tearing after passing stool.
08P 10 XX.XX NS

Loo - another urge to shit. (No cramps), but stool felt hard, like ripping my anus, right side, a little blood. After sitting on chair felt like a broom stick or stool still pushing in right buttock/side of anus. Feels like a splinter, or a sideways pumpkin seed pricking.
08P 30 XX.XX NS

Passed stool twice - once soon after waking, then after breakfast about 9.30.
09P 02 09.30 NS

Wanted to poo - recall this at same time yesterday.
09P 02 16.45 NS

Stool easy, well formed, pale yellowish. Sharp odour.
09P 04 07.00 NS

Stool, sort of triangular, 2 toned - slight abdominal pain after.
09P 05 18.00 NS

Stool - expected diarrhoea but was constipated - produced brown sheep droppings plus a "floater".
09P 07 24.00 NS

Flatulence "bad egg" smell.
09P 08 XX.XX NS

Stool loose, thin, yet not very easy to produce.
09P 09 08.15 NS

Stool - slow and fairly copious - A bit constipated.
09P 09 22.00 NS

Loose stool - almost diarrhoea - dirtied water - brown and some "chopped spinach" with urgency.
09P 10 06.30 NS

I am very constipated - pooing frequent intervals - soft stuff, never quite clears. Feel filthy inside.
09P 40 XX.XX NS

Urinary Organs

The last 2 weeks I've had to get up in night every night to go to the loo.
03P 21 XX.XX NS

Male Sexual Organs

Two symetrical red dots on either side of meatus (glans penis). Genitals hot slightly itchy and sweaty.
06P 07 XX.XX NS

Female Sexual Organs

Period pain getting worse, unusual as it doesn't normally do this until day 2. I've already had to take 2 pain killers.
02P 05 XX.XX NS

PMS symptoms: Though out the day I've had increased appetite, dragging sensation in lower abdomen and great sense of tiredness.
02P 22 XX.XX OS

PMS: Period's due next week - normally I feel fine until the flow but this month my breasts feel sore/bruised and my hips, thighs and lower abdomen are bloated with water retention and lower abdomen feels very sensitive to pressure. Feel really irritable - like I'm giving a big "Piss off" to the world. I feel as if I 'don't give a shit' about anything.
03P 12 XX.XX NS

Slight vaginal bloody mucus It's only day 21 of my cycle.
05P 07 XX.XX NS

I'm having clear vaginal discharge when really my period is due. This doesn't normally happen.
05P 14 XX.XX NS

It is day 41 of my menstrual cycle and I have not yet had a period, I have heavy breasts all day, this is a pre menstrual symptom that is worse than normal.
05P 24 XX.XX NS

My period has started, day 50! I have no stomach cramps (very unusual) only slight low back ache. Delayed menses is really an old symptom, but never to this extreme before.
05P 32 XX.XX NS

My blood is a more pink-scarlet colour, usually it is darker, it also seems thinner.
05P 32 XX.XX NS

Passed a large clot, the size of the largest tea spoon.
05P 33 XX.XX NS

Menses heavier and much brighter red than normal.
07P 06 XX.XX NS

Wake at about 5 with very bad period pains. I haven't had such bad ones for years. Bright red but not flowing very well. Sexually active this month.
07P 33 XX.XX NS

Period started today, thinking about it now, I haven't had spots which usually accompany my pre-menstrual phase.
08P 07 XX.XX NS

Cramping pain going from my womb to small of back. Cramps building up then fading then gone, then back again. Twisting pain.
08P 07 XX.XX NS

Feels like a fist is trying to burst through my abdomen, all the way from my back.
08P 08 XX.XX AS

Went to toilet, big flow of bright red blood.
08P 08 XX.XX NS

This period is different. The red is an 'unnatural', bright, practically fluorescent red and there's lots of it. It's heavy.
08P 08 XX.XX NS

Suddenly had very strong cramp in uterus again, most unusual when its day 4 of period. Lasted 1 minute.
08P 10 XX.XX NS

Feel worse menses, I always feel better.
08P 10 XX.XX NS

Clear sticky leucorrhoea.
08P 13 XX.XX OS

Uterus feels bloated, it's with ovulation, feels like it's pressing on to abdomen. Swollen, with sensation of air/pressure pushing outwards. Feels like passing wind would relieve, but that's not possible ! Like mild cramps got progressively worse throughout the day.
08P 19 XX.XX NS

Uterus area still worse pressure, feels sensitive and bruised. This mid cycle tenderness is lasting longer than normal.
08P 21 XX.XX NS

Metallic pain in uterus, ovulating worse pressure. Feels like a metal bar going horizontally from ovary to ovary.
08P 48 XX.XX AS

Pain at beginning of intercourse.
09P 04 XX.XX NS

Vaginal discomfort - prickling sensation inside - lasted half an hour.
09P 26 11.00 NS

Voice & Larynx, Trachea & Bronchia

I phoned home and my wife said "your voice has changed, its higher in pitch, its got more enthusiasm in it".
01P 02 22.00 NS

My voice has gone husky and deep.
08P 05 XX.XX NS

Respiration

Breathless during walk home.
01P 01 XX.XX NS

My stomach feels sore. Feel slightly out of breath, especially when going upstairs, worse from exertion. My stomach feels so big that it is restricting my breathing.
02P 08 XX.XX NS

Numb sensation in mouth extending down through upper lungs as breathed in, as if mucus membranes coated with something greasy - accompanied with mild nausea in solar plexus.
03P 01 15.30 NS

I can't breathe. Upper lungs feel constricted and feel suffocated. I often get lung symptoms like this but not normally out of the blue, or disappearing so quickly.
03P 02 12.00 AS

Lungs feel heavy and constricted with tight breathing worse thinking.
03P 09 23.00 NS

My breathing is tight and shallow.
03P 14 XX.XX NS

Lungs feel stuffy and tight with restricted breathing.
03P 23 XX.XX NS

My chest and breathing feels restricted as I try to study.
03P 28 XX.XX NS

Pain in right breastbone with shortness of breath.
05P 03 14.00 NS

Gentle stabbing bottom of left rib cage and slight breathlessness on leaning forwards while sitting.
05P 08 XX.XX NS

Slight breathlessness and pressing pains in ribs.
05P 08 XX.XX NS

In bed, afraid I could not breathe through my nose.
09P 05 22.30 NS

Thought I would not be able to breathe (nose slightly blocked) a panicky feeling.
09P 08 01.00 NS

Cough

Cough on waking.
01P 02 XX.XX NS

Cough from phlegm in throat, headache, all over head, nearly vomit from coughing.
06P 42 XX.XX NS

Cough deep and dry worse at night had to expectorate, better for expectoration.
06P 44 XX.XX NS

I had a tickly cough from nowhere which I tried to suppress, resulted in tears running from right eye.
08P 01 16.00 OS

Coughing phlegm up.
08P 05 XX.XX NS

Woke to alarm with a dry gravely lower throat/chest, have to cough to clear it, mucous coughs up.
08P 05 XX.XX NS

My chest suddenly catches over a bit of phlegm as it rises in my lungs making my throat/chest go into spasm. Cough is dry and hurts my chest. The mucous covers my larynx so my voice cuts out.
08P 05 XX.XX NS

Tickly cough, worse reclining, better coughing up phlegm.
08P 07 XX.XX NS

Woke in night coughing, worse raising head and chest more on pillows. Lots of phlegm. Water is just pouring out of right nostril onto pillow. A rude way to wake in the night. Feel fluey tired, achy limbs.
08P 07 XX.XX NS

I forget I have a cough, then it comes from the blue with phlegm. It tickles, 1 or 2 coughs each time.
08P 10 XX.XX NS

Coughing up phlegm, made tickly, worse by others' smoking tobacco.
08P 11 XX.XX NS

Had coughing fit, really tickly, not better for coughing up phlegm, brought tears to my eyes. Wanted to run off and hide and cough my lungs up. Been coughing on and off all day. Green, sticky expectoration.
08P 12 XX.XX NS

Kept waking in night on and off with cough. Woke in morning with small tickly cough again, worse from the smoky room last night. Lots of phlegm coming up - loose but copious, clear wet and warm.
08P 17 XX.XX NS

Had to lift up head to cough, big mouthful of spongy light green soft phlegm.
08P 53 XX.XX NS

Inner Chest & Lungs

Awoke with pain in upper chest, right-side. Aggravated by breathing in.
01P 17 07.30 NS

Tingling in solar plexus and then heart chakra.
03P 01 15.30 NS

Sensation in chest as if large bubbles rising up my oesophagus or bronchi - have had this a bit a few times in last few days.
03P 27 17.00 NS

When I was thinking of the proving I became aware that my nose was blocked. I also had a feeling of tightness in the chest like having a weight on the front of my chest or as if my chest was in a vice.
04P 09 15.00 NS

I have a stitching pain in left side in ribcage/lungs.
05P 06 XX.XX NS

Slight stabbing in right rib cage below breast.
05P 08 XX.XX NS

Fluttering sensation below ribs on left hand side when sitting forward.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

Chest is dry and grainy, sore. Worse cold dry air, wood smoke. Better for scarf and heat.
08P 05 XX.XX NS

Aware all day that my lungs feel tight and small, worse since Friday talking to ex. I know its connected to my emotions concerning him. I don't know how to feel, I don't seem to be getting upset about him much, it's like I don't have the time to think about it at the moment. I'm so busy.
08P 23 XX.XX NS

Flashing thoughts of anger with sensations of pain in my soul, congestion around solar plexus, and my lungs so wheezy, different to normal, they feel ill too, bit bunged up, better coughing, worse tobacco smoke. (I don't smoke).
08P 38 XX.XX NS

When I exhale there is a rattling sound and it tickles, makes me cough. Lungs feel thick with phlegm, it's not shifting, but when it does it is thick green solid phlegm.
08P 42 XX.XX NS

Chest and lungs still fucked. Coughing, hard to move thick green phlegm.
08P 44 XX.XX NS

Heart, Pulse & Circulation

Feel trembly and shaky. Feel that I have an irregular heart pattern/ palpitations. Lasts for 30 minutes.
02P 06 20.40 NS

There is warmth in my heart, buzzing and tingling at my crown chakra.
05P 01 15.30 NS

Outer Chest

Breasts feel sore and a bit swollen as if week before my period but it isn't.
03P 08 XX.XX NS

Chest feels bruised.
03P 14 XX.XX NS

Very sharp pain on the left had side of my chest just below the neck.
04P 04 02.00 NS

Sensation of firm discomfort on right side underneath ribs.
05P 04 09.00 NS

A full feeling under my left armpit, as if there was a small ball there.
05P 16 XX.XX NS

Sharp pain deep in my left breast, wonder if it is to do with the singing I've been doing.
05P 18 XX.XX NS

Pain below central left pectoral muscle, spot of pain, dull.
06P 17 XX.XX NS

Right sterno-clavicular getting worse - very stiff feeling and very sensitive to being jarred. I used to think it was hormonally related and was worse when I drank a lot of tea or coffee. I have been drinking a lot of tea - throughout the whole proving.
07P 21 XX.XX OS

Feel very bloated - Breasts are tender.
07P 26 XX.XX NS

Breasts are so sore, worse walking, I can't bear it, I feel so angry they're definitely more hard, painful, swollen, fuller than normal. Fuck off.
08P 23 XX.XX NS

I woke in the night and it lasted all morning on my breast bone, an intense bruised feeling, wondered at one point is it my heart, am I having a heart attack? Bit worried as most unusual, worse lying on front.
08P 45 XX.XX NS

Big painful eruption on left breast, bruised and tender, pressure building up from pus.
08P 46 XX.XX NS

Had a pain in left breast which felt circular.
09P 05 22.30 NS

Pain in right breast.
09P 06 09.45 NS

Neck & Back

Sweaty back.
01P 01 15.30 NS

Back of the neck hot.
01P 01 15.30 NS

Back - shivery sensation, wave of coldness across it.
01P 05 09.00 OS

Neck strain - right side - from ear down to spine. I had been at desk all day.
01P 05 XX.XX RS

Lower back left side near kidney - muscle strain.
01P 09 09.00 NS

Neck - muscle strain, painful, radiating from back of neck to back of both shoulders.
01P 09 09.00 OS

Sharp pain - as if lower back had collapsed.. This happened while I was crouched in the car brushing the floor. Pain alleviated only by lying on a hard surface.
01P 17 XX.XX NS

Back still very sore, lower back pain - worse for sudden movement.
01P 18 XX.XX NS

Lower back - pain on movement, worse for sitting, bending. Neuralgia in both legs. Shooting sensations from small of back, down thighs into calves. Worse for standing.
01P 20 XX.XX NS

I feel the pressure in my shoulders extending down into my upper arms again.
02P 07 XX.XX OS

Intense vibration of spine from base upwards and in womb.
03P 01 15.30 NS

Kidney ache getting worse - feel swollen, bruised better for rubbing back.
03P 04 19.00 NS

Nape of neck aching around 6th/7th cervical vertebra - maybe from decorating?
03P 05 20.00 NS

Kidneys aching, bruised, swollen as if stressed out, but not. Better hot water bottle on back.
03P 07 XX.XX NS

Neck very stiff and sore.
03P 21 11.00 NS

Neck went 'out' with a crack - didn't hurt immediately but ache got steadily worse after 10 minutes. Aching around 6th cervical vertebra and extending towards left shoulder.
03P 22 22.00 NS

Neck feeling OK first thing this morning. Cracked again later in morning - again no pain immediately but started to ache about 10 minutes later. Then intense tingling radiating from around 6th cervical vertebra across tops of shoulders and down tops of arms and with this, breathing felt tight and bruised and head felt heavy around centre of forehead - both felt connected to neck.
03P 24 XX.XX NS

Neck worse this morning - neuralgic, lightening pain around 6th cervical vertebra with aching around that. Better after massaging neck reflex points on thumb.
03P 26 XX.XX NS

Woke up with aching neck again - same as yesterday but worse on the left side spine and extending across top of left shoulder.
03P 27 09.00 NS

Aching in coccyx.
05P 01 19.30 NS

Tightness of left neck and left hip.
05P 03 08.30 NS

Still have that feeling in my hands; energized chakras, also there is a lot of energy travelling up my spine to the top of my head.
05P 03 10.00 NS

I have splintering pain in my spine at heart level which lasts about 10 minutes.
05P 06 12.00 NS

More backache - bottom of shoulder blade on the right hand side.
05P 09 12.00 NS

Tightness in my lower back.
05P 09 XX.XX NS

Right sterno-clavicular is still playing up - neck feels very stiff and today my back is a bit achy.
07P 23 XX.XX OS

Pain radiating up my neck to head. Hurts a great deal on being jarred - I feel as if I am holding my shoulder very tight to protect it.
07P 26 XX.XX OS

Whole body feels stiff, aches and pains on movement. In back, especially around shoulder blades.
07P 34 XX.XX NS

Metallic buzzing on right side back of neck, unnatural. It's all like strychnine, chemically and buzzy.
08P 01 16.30 NS

Lower back kidney area aching. Worse for waking, rising.
08P 03 08.00 RS

Aches from middle of left shoulder up left side of neck.
08P 05 XX.XX NS

Back aches as if I've been drilled right through my spine around the top of my sternum. It's parallel to where my chest feels dry.
08P 05 XX.XX NS

Ache in small of back. I just want to curl up in bed and sleep. I feel I need more unconsciousness of sleep - as it feels that I'm spending too much time awake (not enough yin).
08P 07 XX.XX NS

Upper Limbs

Hands tingling and trembling. I am picking things up and putting things down.
01P 02 10.15 NS

Pressure in shoulders, both sides. Down acting pressure travelling down into my upper arms.
02P 01 17.30 NS

Shooting pain from inside face of right wrist extending down into centre of my palm. Lasted for 10 minutes.
02P 02 13.00 NS

Hands feel weak, to the extent that I don't want to hold my pen or write - to form words seems difficult.
02P 02 15.00 NS

Right little finger tingling.
03P 01 15.30 NS

Arms and hands weak and trembly, so difficult to hold pen or write.
03P 01 15.30 NS

Arms heavy.
03P 02 14.30 NS

Right shoulder feels heavy and aching behind the scapula and right upper arm aching/bruised.
03P 04 XX.XX NS

Still stretching a lot especially arms - feels great.
03P 06 XX.XX NS

Skin at inner elbows really itching. I found myself scratching my arms without realizing it - when I looked at them there were spots of red - as if blood under skin in pinpricks - went after 10 minutes.
03P 13 XX.XX NS

Upper arms ache/tired/heavy.
03P 14 XX.XX NS

Have a wandering pain in my right forearm, feels as if it is in the bone.
05P 04 XX.XX NS

Sensation of light band around forearms on the muscle below the elbow.
05P 06 XX.XX NS

Want to keep my left arm at my side and folded across. (the lymph node is still sore and swollen). Shooting pains in left forearm the pain is on/off almost pulsing.
05P 07 XX.XX NS

Very sore under left arm pit. Feels as if there was a growth there or muscular. It's worse for touch, worse for use of left arm. When talking to supervisor on phone feel that a lymph node is swollen.
05P 07 XX.XX NS

Pain in finger tips of right hand.
05P 10 XX.XX NS

Pain in lymph gland under right arm.
05P 13 XX.XX NS

Aching in left forearm as if carrying something heavy.
05P 15 XX.XX NS

Left arm heavy and tired on the steering wheel driving.
06P 01 18.00 NS

Sweaty palms.
07P 01 15.30 NS

Twisting - slightly cramping feeling in right arm, extending from elbow half way down arm worse on extending it.
07P 04 XX.XX NS

Left elbow dry and itchy.
09P 05 XX.XX NS

Lower Limbs

Hip left side, dull ache - feels worse after standing or walking.
01P 01 XX.XX OS

Awoke with awareness of ache along length of R. thumb. It felt like a repetitive strain type ache. I could see enlarged blood vessels.
01P 13 07.30 RS

Tingling in fingers, palms cold and clammy. Activity in hand chakras.
02P 01 15.30 NS

Tingling, buzzing feet.
05P 01 20.30 NS

A feeling in my veins, inside leg below the knee, it's a throbbing.
05P 02 11.00 NS

I have pain in the node at the top of my left thigh.
05P 04 XX.XX NS

Aching in both knees at the front.
05P 15 16.00 NS

Aching in lymph area at the top of both thighs.
05P 19 XX.XX NS

On my left foot the little toe nail has split down the side to the base and is sore.
05P 21 XX.XX NS

Itchy left shin.
07P 02 XX.XX NS

A stop (pustule) on inside of left first toe.
07P 13 XX.XX NS

Big toes being pulled by my tights, slight ingrown pain, sore and tender bruise on inner edge of toes.
08P 04 XX.XX NS

Legs really aching, dull heavy feeling on outside of thighs, better sitting cross-legged.
08P 05 XX.XX NS

Right knee aches, like I've twisted it, feels like it wants to click.
08P 06 XX.XX NS

Outside of knees have dull ache, better stretching thighs. They ache so much, feels like a massage would soothe.
08P 06 XX.XX NS

Heavy ache in right leg.
08P 25 XX.XX NS

Feet felt leaden.
09P 01 15.30 NS

Feet icy cold.
09P 01 17.30 NS

At the end of a walk had a pain (ache) in my right ankle which passed off quickly.
09P 02 14.00 NS

Icy cold feet at 6 p.m. Then at 11 p.m they were not cold. Would normally be the other way round.
09P 02 18.00 AS

Pain in right shin, sharp, fleeting on bone, whilst driving.
09P 04 12.00 NS

Pain left side of left heel worse for stretching hamstring/achilles. Tearing and sharp.
09P 09 XX.XX NS

Heel pain has moved down nearer sole.
09P 16 XX.XX AS

Pain in right shin. Stabbing. Also restless legs. Have been restless all evening.
09P 20 21.00 NS

Very cold feet and ankles, worse for sitting, better for movement, unusual for this time of day.
09P 28 16.00 AS

Sudden cramping in right toes (3 middle ones) lasted several minutes, worse jumping around and massaging, better relaxing.
09P 49 XX.XX NS

Limbs in General

Weak heavy pain in right hip and right upper arm.
03P 01 15.30 NS

Keep stretching like a cat, especially arms out to the sides which feels really good.
03P 02 XX.XX NS

Knife like pain "cut" base of palm on right hand near thumb and sole of foot (left).
06P 09 XX.XX NS

Pulsating legs - moving upwards, and right arm.
07P 01 15.30 NS

Sleep

To bed but not feeling tired. Usually tired by 10 p.m. - my energy is increased.
01P 05 10.15 NS

Still awake. I've got more energy at nighttime.
01P 09 XX.XX NS

After lunch, feel as if the energy has descended into a tiredness. Feel OK but tired.
02P 02 12.30 NS

Woke up feeling very tired and heavy. Eyes felt tired. Felt lethargic and bloody awful. All my limbs felt heavy. Felt really grotty. Unable to do much of anything today.
02P 10 07.30 NS

Very sleepy - wanted to go to sleep.
03P 01 19.00 NS

Difficulty sleeping with over excitement and overactive brain.
03P 19 XX.XX NS

Woke up feeling very tired and un-refreshed.
03P 20 08.00 NS

Can't sleep because mind freewheeling.
03P 20 24.00 NS

Can't sleep again - I feel I haven't had a good night's sleep since we took the remedy. This is how I normally feel around the full moon - it feels as if the moon has been full for the whole month! My mind wasn't racing I just couldn't drop off to sleep and my partner's been the same this past week.
03P 21 24.00 NS

Another sleepless night - this just has to be a nocturnal animal!! - I'm exhausted!
03P 25 XX.XX NS

Feels like a dreamless sleep I can't remember anything about the night.
05P 06 XX.XX NS

Feel tired, more tired, yawns, 10 times or more.
06P 01 15.30 NS

Woke at 5 a.m.
06P 02 05.00 NS

Tired feeling, yawning in the group, again worse after group meditation. Rubbing sides of my nose, rubbing eyes. Desire to relax and lie down ,and it doesn't seem to matter! Worse when in the group, yawning, time to tea break went quickly.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

Went to bed very bloated - and restless.
07P 02 22.00 NS

Wake on back (uncommon).
07P 02 XX.XX NS

Woke up yawning.
07P 03 XX.XX NS

Woke in middle of night on back again with dreams I couldn't remember.
07P 04 XX.XX NS

Woke in night again with un-remembered dreams and again on my back.
07P 05 XX.XX NS

Very tired until about 21.00 then couldn't get to sleep.
07P 07 XX.XX NS

Took a nap - slept for 2 hours very solidly - this is unusual for me.
07P 07 XX.XX NS

Waking very tired.
07P 10 XX.XX NS

Felt very tired in mid after-noon. 14.00 till 18.00.
07P 16 XX.XX NS

After a very late night, feel totally exhausted - Take an afternoon nap and wake up thinking it is morning.
07P 20 XX.XX NS

Woke up feeling exhausted. Felt as if I didn't move all night.
07P 25 XX.XX NS

Had to take an afternoon nap - felt a bit better after.
07P 26 XX.XX NS

Woke, feel dizzy, groggy like my head not round, needed to be made whole from jigsaw pieces.
08P 02 XX.XX NS

Woke up in the night a lot, cold, restless.
08P 02 XX.XX NS

I couldn't sleep until twoish but I thought I was asleep, then thought I was awake, thought I'd lay there for a couple of hours when I must have slept for a bit, friend talking kept waking me.
08P 02 XX.XX NS

Woke feeling foggy again, slow to get going.
08P 03 08.00 NS

Feel very foggy, desire to stay in bed. Tired.
08P 05 XX.XX NS

Desire sleep to shut it all out. Do not want to rise at 08.30. Exhausted.
08P 08 XX.XX NS

Kept waking up really hot, sweat on my chest, felt angry.
08P 23 XX.XX NS

Woke up to alarm, sweating on chest, hot in bed.
08P 29 XX.XX NS

Woke up talking in my sleep, trying to say a word repeatedly, something beginning with 'B'. Something like 'blinder', I couldn't get it out, I felt trapped and stuck. Felt muddled, unsettled, hot and in-between worlds. Wanted ex there.
08P 30 XX.XX NS

Temperature & Weather

My feet felt cold - unusual for me, I had to put thicker socks on.
01P 03 XX.XX NS

Feeling alternately chilly and hot.
01P 16 XX.XX NS

Heat through body Feel v hot and sweaty. Increased heart beat, face is hot and flushed. Feels as if I've had a hot flush.
02P 02 10.15 NS

Feel warm and sweaty. Hands feel cold and sweaty. Am getting hot flushes, had to take my jumper off- unheard of as I normally feel the cold.
02P 03 10.20 NS

For an hour I had waves of heat travelling up through my body, like a hot flush.
02P 07 10.00 NS

I've had the odd hot flush though out the day, there doesn't seem to be a pattern.
02P 11 XX.XX NS

Feeling of warmth through whole body.
03P 01 15.30 NS

Felt cold inside.
03P 01 15.30 NS

Feel warm all over (very unusual for me) with warm flushes to face.
03P 01 16.30 NS

Icy cold even down to bones. (I often feel cold but there is a different quality to it?)
03P 01 20.00 NS

Feel hot all over with flushes to face.
03P 02 10.00 NS

Feel icy cold and shaking inside with cold.
03P 03 12.00 NS

Freezing cold - been cold all day but getting better. Sitting in front of blazing fire and I feel frozen to the bone with shivering - my partner says it's boiling in here!
03P 07 22.30 NS

Meditating after taking the remedy. My sensation was limited to a feeling of general warmth through the whole body and blocked up nose.
04P 01 15.30 NS

Following a meditation I felt warm all over my body, and had a blocked nose, but did not talk of it to others as it was not very strong.
04P 02 10.30 NS

I felt warm all over my body and had a blocked nose.
04P 03 10.30 NS

My face is hot and I have sweaty palms.
05P 01 16.00 NS

I feel so hot, especially in my arms and cheeks.
05P 01 20.30 NS

Warmth in my third eye, my hands are hot and I feel heat all over.
05P 02 10.30 NS

Hot hands, warm heart almost as if it came when the buzzard flew near.
05P 02 15.30 NS

I'm finding the cold unbearable it stops me going outside.
05P 06 XX.XX NS

Woke in night with a very warm heated sensation as if in a circle in the centre of my back, lovely, like a sun.
08P 02 XX.XX NS

Feel burning hot - just before getting up.
09P 08 07.15 NS

Felt extremely hot but skin cool to touch.
09P 21 XX.XX NS

Felt very hot, sweaty, exhausted. Felt quite ill. This passed and I felt quite OK in half an hour or so.
09P 25 21.30 NS

Felt very hot. Ambient Temperature is 10C.
09P 26 08.00 NS

Skin

Itchy patch of tiny red pimples on inner end of each elbow crease right arm worse. Itching wore off during day but rash remained.
03P 07 XX.XX NS

Skin itching and rash inside of elbow crease again as on day 7. Skin really itching inner elbows especially right arm.
03P 09 XX.XX NS

Skin in my armpits is itching as well as the inside of elbows.
03P 14 XX.XX NS

Skin on the palms of my hands feels very dry - (might be from all the decorating we're doing, but I don't normally get like this).
03P 25 XX.XX NS

I scorched my right hand at bedtime on a candle and the skin went black. It reminded me of my first proving dream.
05P 23 XX.XX NS

Itchy, prickly, feeling at top of thighs and top of arms. Red rash on ankles and shins, worse hot shower.
06P 05 XX.XX NS

Itchy legs, thighs, nipples. Skin on forearms and face is dry and redish. Rash on thighs front and back red spots (around hair follicles) and on clear skin no heads to spots slightly itchy on top right thigh on outside of thigh also on glans penis near meatus (inflammation).
06P 06 XX.XX NS

Itchy dry spot top of right arm. Itchy nipples right worse than left.
06P 07 XX.XX NS

Lower abdomen as well as top of thighs is affected with red itching spots (moving up body).
06P 07 XX.XX NS

Both sides of lower abdomen, symmetrical ovals right on "love handles" (fat above hips) red, itchy patch of rash about 3-4 inches long and 1-1 inches wide. Similar to exactly symmetrical dots on either side of glans penis, very strange, as exactly symmetrical on abdomen as well.
06P 12 XX.XX NS

Woke with tiny raised vesicles on my inside right heel, they were red hot and sweaty.
06P 39 XX.XX NS

Rash, symmetrical top of both thighs outside and front of thighs below hips.
06P 44 XX.XX NS

Nose and skin feels very dry.
07P 02 XX.XX NS

The itchy red rash which has been coming and going the last 4/5 months, on inner left elbow has cleared up.
08P 10 XX.XX NS

Spots on base of neck and itchy cheeks and jawline, worse for wine.
08P 19 XX.XX NS

Red, swollen, hard spots on my face and neck, worse touch. Look like bites. Really hard. One left side jawline, one right side neck under jaw, slow to heal.
08P 25 XX.XX NS

More lumps and bumps on chin and left cheek, red swollen and hard. My skin looks unhealthy.
08P 29 XX.XX NS

Attacks & Periodicity

Cannot bear 16.30 - 20.00, I seem to brighten around 20.00, as long as I've eaten as well. (This is more exaggerated than usual)
08P 05 16.30 IOS

Rest, Position & Motion

Feeling tired, feel like I could just lie down somewhere.
01P 01 XX.XX NS

Wanting to walk - feel like I could walk for miles.
01P 01 XX.XX NS

Generals

Sensation of energy throughout my body - pulsing within me. I did a meditation - it seems as if some extra energy is coursing through my veins, which has its own beat and rhythm. I feel compelled to move with it.
01P 06 XX.XX NS

At the end of a walk felt really trembly and weak. An 'all gone' sensation.
02P 06 17.00 OS

All of a sudden, I felt really tired.
02P 12 22.00 NS

Feel really tired now, but also restless.
02P 13 17.50 NS

My energy feels higher. Have had two walks and been to the gym, running 2 miles. Felt nauseous when out walking.
02P 15 XX.XX NS

Felt hyperglycaemic when walking. Felt feint. Lacking in energy. Was weak in the gym.
02P 22 XX.XX NS

Clumsy: I knocked over 2 cups of water and friends knocked over beer and wine, each one was like a tidal wave!
03P 01 20.00 NS

Retaining lots of water thighs, hips, stomach since yesterday morning.
03P 04 XX.XX NS

Feel very tired and lethargic - not much get up and go. Feel achy/tired as if going down with flu - especially both arms and up across top of shoulders (not over-exertion tired).
03P 06 09.00 NS

Mentally and physically exhausted. All these 11 p.m. symptoms are similar to symptoms I had years ago when I was ill and very stressed - now very little stress.
03P 09 23.00 OS

Feeling very tired mentally and physically - wanting to go to bed by 7 p.m. everyday.
03P 19 XX.XX NS

Am generally not able to do very much in the evenings.
05P 00 XX.XX NS

It's heavy work standing up.
05P 01 18.00 NS

Again I feel as if I'm going to have a cold. 05P 06 XX.XX NS

Cold - flu symptoms. Feel achy. Dry mouth. Headache. Shivering. Stiff all over. Running nose, both sides. Urine is dark yellow/orange. Desire to stay in bed and sleep.
06P 41 XX.XX NS

Eyes and throat very dry.
07P 02 XX.XX NS

Much better when outside.
07P 02 XX.XX NS

Felt very greasy - needed a shower.
07P 03 XX.XX NS

Feels like my lymph is very congested. Lymph glands raised, tender and achy in left groin as well as right side of neck, mainly rear.
07P 34 XX.XX NS

Had a bath, feel tired, could feel my energy waning 19.30 onwards, not so hyper and gushing. I lay in the bath nearly falling asleep, found a raised rash on left side of right breast - I can feel bumps, slightly pink.
08P 03 XX.XX NS

Tired, no energy. Better resting feet on chair, or pulling knees up to chest.
08P 05 XX.XX NS

I'm pissed off I've got another cold, but I tell myself it's only the proving. I want to stay in bed. There's a dull ache in my cheekbones, they feel full. My jaw also aches.
08P 07 XX.XX NS

I feel so waterlogged, loose clear wet warm phlegm in lungs, throat and nose. I'm always sniffing and swallowing it back down.
08P 17 XX.XX NS

Woke with sore throat, lots of sneezing, watery discharge streaming from nose. Not another cold - shit! One cold a month all winter.
08P 37 XX.XX NS

Mind

Dreams

Physicals