Vulcanized Rubber The Homśopathic Proving of Latex Vulcani

One prover's immediate reaction on taking the remedy was a powerful experience that encompassed many of the themes found throughout the proving.

I was looking out of this shape, tried to determine if I was looking through grass. No colour just darkness on this side of the shape and through the gap or hole was light, as if early dusk. Was aware of my breathing, quite slow, comfortable more noisy than usual and deeper. I tried to tell was I stalking, the answer was I don't think so. I was just looking, not for anything just looking through the gap. Then I started to look down, going fast down some sort of tunnel, hole, think it was brown in colour. It was not very big, but I not feel restricted. Possibly with yellow rings of light. I then became aware of my own sense of what I was seeing, the visuals stopped and could feel my muscles twitching, and I was being pulled over to the left. I could hear someone moaning (it must have been me) and feel myself deep down cold cold. Started to feel embarrassed I had no control of what was happening, the muscle twitching was becoming more violent. I felt that I had to pull my self out of the state. I was aware that my physical body was in the room but my mental and spiritual state was somewhere else. But I also wanted to go back to the place I had seen and explore more. I was stopped because I was aware that people might see that something odd was going on, I tried to speak but could not. Used my knowledge of centring my self and forced myself to concentrate on deep breathing to bring my self out of the state. As I breathed deeper I felt I was travelling back through the experience that had just happened. Having to really concentrate, like pulling your self up out of anaesthetic or deep sleep. Took deep breaths, brought hands together as if to bring my body back to a whole. As breathed deeply I struggled to pull my muscle to work, straighten my spine. I noticed that my mouth was dry, muscle sluggish and I was very cold. I still had my eyes closed. I heard somebody leave the room and heard the door bang shut. I remember thinking they have gone for a coffee. If they have left then it's ok for me to do as well. I wanted to leave, as I felt ashamed that something had happened to me. (later discovered on asking who had left the room, I was told no one had, though I distinctly remember hearing someone get up and bang the door shut, I would swear to that) I heard the dog bark. I heard someone say that this was Brigit's last chance to cut the grass, there was laughter. I was aware I was not laughing. I was separate from this laughter, a bit like when there is a group meditation and every one else is back in the room. Well I was hearing but I was not in the room and I felt embarrassed that I had not been. So my desire was to leave, as I was ashamed, I remember saying as I tried to stand, I'm just leaving or I'm just going. It was very, very difficult to stand; I only saw the carpet as my head was hanging down.

I did not know where I was going, but the main thing was to leave the room. I went into the kitchen, it was too bright and noisy, then I did not know what to do, I felt lost. As if awake within a dream. The hall was safe as it was darker, but I still felt out of place. Misha came out, spoke to me I don't remember what he said. I remember telling him, "something has either just left me or something has just entered." I laughed but I did not feel like laughing, I felt very frightened. Misha took me into a room, there was a TV on, the colours were so bright and clear, particularly the grass. I noticed his son's eyes were blue. I did not want to be in the bright light of the room. We went back into the hall; I was shaking, still spaced out. Then I held on to the banister and felt calm, I then felt very tall and straight. As if I was very erect almost as if it was not my eyes I was looking out of. I think I said like a pharaoh! Holding crossed arms. Elongated or haughty, (but I knew haughty was the wrong word.) Misha looked smaller, I told him, he even took a low pose on the banister. I laughed when I told him that I was taller than him. I had to then tell him that I did not mean I was superior to him; I grabbed him quick and gave him a hug, we laughed, I told him I did not want him to think I meant I was superior to him, as I was not. I was still forcing myself to stay in a state of reality, I was more not in the school than I was away from it. It was almost as if I was watching and hearing someone else's dream. I did not know what to do with myself, I felt very out of place. I felt I ought to go back into the room and join everyone else. When I went back in the room I wanted to sit near the window, it was so bright. By this time my skin on my face was burning and very hot. I felt embarrassed as I walked in the room. It was now 45 mins since we took the remedy. On sitting back on the floor near the window, something irritated me but I can't remember what it was. It could have been that the noise was too much and overwhelming. I sat down thinking I should write up what had occurred, picked up the pen in my right hand and started to write. ( I am left handed) There was no logic to writing or moving the pen it was just pure habit.
01P 01 18.20 NS

The following symptom was hard to place but seems important in that it contains the manic energy, the lack of feeling and the tendency to excess.

I was extremely depressed all day today, I feel manic and driven again without much that needs doing. I have been feeling increasingly down recently - like 'what's it all for?' and 'what's the point?' not like me at all, virtually suicidal. I've had enough. Decide to fight back by eating whole Fray Bentos Steak and Kidney pie I have been craving for a few days now (I'm not a red meat eater!).
04P 20 XX.XX NS

Cosy and Cocooned

Mind still, want others to be still, not talk to me, allow the pleasantness of peace to envelope me disowned responsibility.
01P 01 22.00 NS

I like this place I have no needs. I do not want to be bothered by others, and conversations and instructions others impose on me just confuse. I have to ask them to leave me, or at best talk one at a time so I can comprehend. I do not want to come out of this feeling of ease. Every one feels so busy, aware that some feel a bit like me, don't think many are so spaced. I would love to be able to just experience this feeling on my own without having to live in the world and do things at the same time.
01P 02 XX.XX NS

I have found in the last few weeks that I have been attracted to a more base/earthy type of music. Where as before I would have been more into trance/ head type music.
01P 15 XX.XX NS

I felt deep love all day. Image: as if swimming in the sea, being supported and surrounded by water, really intense carefree, loved, supported feeling.
06P 09 XX.XX NS

Thought we should be leaving but felt reluctant to leave group and go out and face 'normality'.
10P 01 19.00 NS

Got home and wanted nothing more than to get undressed and wrapped up in my dressing gown with a blanket and read. Didn't want the intrusion of TV or radio. Wanted to feel cosy and cocooned and on my own in the quiet. Wanted to feel safe.
14P 03 17.00 NS

Felt distanced from my problems. They were there but I wasn't feeling the full impact of them.
22P 15 XX.XX NS

Calm

Strong feeling of being centred, at peace, still. A feeling of stillness. Wanted to be in company but not participate. Felt that I just wanted again to stay in this lovely feeling of ease. My body was so calm. I normally move about, but I was very still.
01P 01 21.00 NS

I don't care about what others think too much and am quite relaxed about things. It is a really good feeling.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

Even though there have been stressful situations today I feel I have been very calm and not emotional compared to how I usually am.
06P 05 XX.XX NS

My jittery feeling has not come back & I'm still feeling very relaxed, even though I have a 'live' case this afternoon - is it possible I ought to feel anxious? Seem to feel in this relaxed mode until events clash, or do not go according to plan.
08P 05 XX.XX NS

Impatient train delayed, confusion all around, wrong information on screens, platform changes, etc. everybody was looking lost, felt like an observer, calm.
13P 01 XX.XX NS

Mood swings from irritation to serenity quickly, surprise myself.
13P 04 XX.XX NS

Restricted

Felt resentful unwilling to take responsibility for my own actions, feel ill.
02P 03 07.00 NS

I feel really frustrated, I'm hot, clammy, restless, can't sleep yet my eyelids are heavy. I keep dropping my pen too. I just want to sleep.
03P 01 24.00 NS

I wanted to move around. I was annoyed that we were kept waiting and people were not on time.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

I had an outburst of anger in the morning. I really freaked out, screamed and shouted, but didn't throw anything. This was followed by lots of crying. The whole day felt like the first day of a new life (or phase of life). I also agreed to take a room in a houseshare south of Exeter although I hadn't even viewed it. This was something I would normally never have done, very naïve! Just that I had enough of all the hassle, anger etc. I did it because I felt I had to get out. It felt good.
06P 18 XX.XX NS

We had to go to another B&B because our regular place was closed - when I walked into the house it felt stifling, cluttered and dirty compared to what we were used to. Had to get out of this house & went to the pub - was offered a bed by others in the group, but was reluctant to accept this because of disrupting the plan - eventually was persuaded & felt an overwhelming sense of relief that the situation had been altered.
08P 01 XX.XX NS

I kept switching from being relaxed to becoming very tense and tight inside and feeling that I should be working on something.
08P 03 XX.XX NS

I feel quite resentful and caged in. Its a bit like going to jail, not passing go and not collecting £200.
09P 37 XX.XX NS

People are making me behave in a way I don't want to. Feel misunderstood.
13P 10 XX.XX NS

Making the same mistakes writing and typing words with the vowel sounds the wrong way round always the middle of the word, probably rushing, need to slow down, feeling pressure of time ticking away. Very aware of time.
13P 11 XX.XX NS

Feeling of being obstructed in my attempts to do anything. There are things in the Way. Progress is difficult feeling undermined by other people, friends and family.
13P 33 XX.XX NS

Thinking this afternoon about all the tasks coming up over the next 3 or 4 days and it all feels immensely daunting. Too much trouble, don't want to have to make the effort. Don't want to drag myself out of the mire - seems too huge an effort.
14P 05 XX.XX NS

Claustrophobic

Trying to escape can't be specific but not content where I am. Getting hot - want to run away, claustrophobic.
02P 03 09.00 NS

Bubbles

Enjoying inventing my own songs whilst in the car driving. Really opening my voice up and singing loudly not at all inhibited. Outside influences aren't affecting me so much as normal. I feel quite content in my little hyperactive bubble.
09P 03 XX.XX NS

Have so much to do and to think about and I don't know where to start. Business is going on as usual around me but I feel very separate from it, like being here but in a bubble.
14P 11 XX.XX NS

Separation

Irritated by lack of unity that group seems to work with. I have the impression that all are very much self orientated rather than working in harmony as a group.
01P 29 XX.XX NS

Felt away with the fairies, don't usually have this feeling first thing in the morning.
05P 02 06.00 AS

Very aware of the weather, keep looking out of the window to record in my mind what is happening.
05P 02 12.00 NS

All day felt spaced out but can't bring myself to Earth (I normally can).
05P 14 XX.XX NS

Woke up feeling very relaxed again as if nothing could upset me - feel spacey in my head like I had taken morphine when in hospital - cut off from everything, nothing can intrude into your space i.e. disconnected.
08P 02 XX.XX NS

Felt the need to be on my own & went a walk in Misha's garden to try & ground myself because I had swung again into the jittery state i.e. a hyperactive state.
08P 02 XX.XX NS

Ears popping - head feels as if cotton wool instead of a brain. Everyone at work says I look vacant. I feel brain dead, but I can feel the energy in my body - it feels dormant.
11P 04 XX.XX NS

Feeling of loneliness - group out there somewhere also proving this remedy but I felt very alone, isolated. Better after talking to supervisor.
12P 04 XX.XX NS

As a last thought, having just failed to make the attachment of this work to an e-mail the theme of disconnection has been underlined again. Throughout the proving there was difficulty keeping up with notes and diary. Losing things became a speciality, at least three paper books and one floppy disc! Now I realise that my computer crashing and needing serious overhauling to salvage information was definitely part of the proving. I had to take it to a man I don't like very much to be fixed, and after an agonising three weeks it returned, completely unrecognisable with a new format and all my documents renamed and buried somewhere. Inaccessible! Something has been erased, all that was recognisable, comfortable and familiar in life has cruelly changed.
13P 00 XX.XX NS

Time seems to pass very slowly. Am slightly spaced out not really in this world.
13P 40 XX.XX NS

Felt really exhausted. Out of it. Feeling spacy and unable to connect.
14P 03 XX.XX IOS

Intensification of feelings of exhaustion and unconnectedness during the afternoon. Feeling isolated, separated even from myself.
14P 03 XX.XX IOS

I have had an emotionally and physically extremely low day. I have been worse every time I have been alone. The feeling of disconnection becoming more intense. Very low. Like trying to see through thick murky liquid - hard to hear properly (especially on the right). Hard to see properly, focussing takes effort. It is not so much that my eyes can't see but that my brain can't function to perceive what is seen.
14P 05 XX.XX NS

Still can't get on with anything, except in small doses. Feel too fatigued, physically and mentally - can't connect.
14P 22 XX.XX NS

Aware that I am feeling disconnected still. Not the vertigo, but just unable to feel part of the world. I can't actually get on with looking for a new job even though I am soon to finish here. I am going through the motions but just can't get in touch with the need to take action.
14P 39 XX.XX NS

After meditation couldn't see very well, things 20ft away blurred, as if I was very tipsy. Strong heart beat and feeling hot and weak, very similar to poppers.
15P 01 18.30 NS

On taking the remedy I felt that everyone and everything moved to twice the distance away from me.
22P 01 18.20 NS

Disconnected from People

I feel angry and upset. Feel that people are laughing at me they don't understand and they don't want to listen. I feel that the people I am living with aren't in touch with reality they don't want to listen or understand people they just like quoting theories living their lives in their heads rather than facing the truth.
09P 16 XX.XX NS

Scared of starting a serious relationship with H, I like to keep things up in the air, Scared of becoming too overpowering in a relationship. It is funny because I don't know if I have ever acted in that way with past relationships but there is this fear of losing my femininity.
09P 24 XX.XX NS

I feel as if everyone around are not in touch with real emotions they don't want to face the reality of pain and hurt everything is just one big theory.
09P 33 XX.XX NS

Difficulties with Communication

People kept talking to me, even though I ignored them, which is unusual for me. I told them that I did not really feel like making conversation, but they kept talking to me. I wish they would go away and let me experience this nice feeling on my own.
01P 01 22.00 NS

Notice that I find it difficult to concentrate. Normally able to speak to people and do other things at same time, not able to do both. Am a little unnerved by more than one person talking at time, even if it is back ground noise.
01P 03 XX.XX NS

All day my mind felt absent. When people spoke to me I thought I understood them but my replies indicated to them that I hadn't, but I was replying to what I thought I had heard.
05P 13 XX.XX NS

I had an argument with my husband later in the morning. He hadn't paid the council tax and the letter included a summons because he was so far behind. I was so angry and frustrated that he hadn't bothered to pay it, especially on top of last week's bill where he overused the Internet. I felt there was no connection or real communication between us. I didn't seem to care what I said when we argued. I was so angry. I just wanted him out of my life. I couldn't speak to him for hours. Later when we did eventually start communicating, I began to understand what his problem was and we made up. I'm worried about the way I acted and how I felt: is this the remedy or is it me?
06P 10 XX.XX NS

Noticed that I keep doubting what I remember reading or being told particularly about proving e.g. how to take remedy, how to number days.
12P 00 XX.XX NS

Inability to think clearly - e.g. looking at mobile phones couldn't take in anything about them and pricing.
12P 02 XX.XX NS

Can't find a place to sleep feel scattered about. Feeling lost, who am I? Don't know when to go to bed, boyfriend told me to go to bed. Feel I might be proving Lac .c, that I am writing and reading about - Feel like a stupid mutt being told what to do. Remembering being bitten by a big black dog when I was three. Bitten on the nose! Lots of memories of childhood graveyards, running away and being lost and found. I thought I was a witch remember dancing round and round in the snow in the garden chanting and seeing the plants come to life. Feel a bit like that now, in my own secluded world nobody to tell because they wouldn't understand.
13P 05 XX.XX OS

Disconnected from Feelings

Drove back to my mum's she was quite down I felt angry towards her but instead of expressing this anger it came out in the form of laughter. I tried to get angry but I just started laughing hysterically. After leaving I felt guilty for seeing her in such a state and behaving strangely towards her.
09P 02 XX.XX NS

Argument with partner, I did not get so angry, more able to be detached and see what is happening. I can't really explain this but I have noticed a general change in the way I cope with arguments, instead of getting really angry, I am able to see past what is said, to look beneath it at why I or my partner gets angry.
15P 21 21.00 NS

Unfeeling

I felt calm compared to how I am usually. Even when a bill arrives for £192. My husband had been overusing the internet. I didn't shout, get angry or upset. Very unlike me. When I approached him about the bill later in the evening I was still calm and matter of fact about it, unemotional, saying he would have to pay it.
06P 06 XX.XX NS

I am either very in touch with other people's feelings or I feel completely shut off, cold and hard.
09P 14 XX.XX NS

Was teasing the cat talking about him and he attacked me! Really savage, wouldn't let go of my heel in his mouth, he understood my tone of voice I was making fun of him! reminds me of this afternoon speaking out and even being slightly rude to people I have only admiration and respect for. Why do I do it? Feel embarrassed and worried how other people see me.
13P 02 XX.XX NS

I feel that I have gone 'back to normal' cried about a child who came to play and said he'd had no lunch, mother had not bothered to take him any down to school - this is quite normal for me, I feel my sensitivity has come back.
15P 46 XX.XX NS

Emotional detachment, therefore saying what I feel like without fear of repercussions.
21P 00 XX.XX OS

I notice that I feel much less depressed than I have for many years. However, I almost miss the depression, feel bereft without it. Wonder whether I am really better or it is just a numbness that stops me feeling what I should really be feeling.
22P 00 XX.XX NS

Ruthless

I had this angry feeling all day. I was very irritable in the morning and then really angry at people and things all day - mainly people. This was connected to a great sense of self-confidence - it felt right to be angry. I thought "I have a right to be angry and tell everyone, I don't care what other people think!". It was a healing kind of anger. I felt like ringing people I'm angry at and saying, "This is bad!"
06P 15 XX.XX NS

Full moon. I was really angry again. I gave out to my mother on the phone. This was followed by crying my eyes out. However, giving out felt good, I felt quite confident. I was very sad all day and cried a lot in general. Overall, it felt very healing, rather than disturbing. I felt letting go of all the anger and tears was absolutely necessary.
06P 20 XX.XX NS

Feeling decisive and ruthless, busy organising my space. Manic externally but solid inside.
13P 03 XX.XX NS

Turn the phone off so that I am unavailable if partner tries to ring me, childish but it feels good. Have never thought of this revenge tactic before, will never tell him, a private joke to make me feel better. Having declared myself alone, find I am inundated with visitors.
13P 35 XX.XX NS

Selfish

Still feeling a little self-centred, in other words find it easy to say what I need.
01P 03 XX.XX NS

Decide today to challenge my relationship with boyfriend, why. Make ultimatum about meeting. Make or break time.
01P 16 XX.XX NS

I am feeling strong in myself, which is great. I seem to understand more about the effect I have on other people. I allow others to make me feel bad for something that isn't my fault. I had a kind of realisation and self empowering feeling that told me to stop feeling guilty and to look after my own feelings.
09P 11 XX.XX NS

I am going to start being more selfish. I spent yesterday listening and comforting him when he was feeling a bit low, but when it comes to me needing some reassurance he isn't so generous with his emotions. I need to get back to me again.
09P 33 XX.XX NS

Agitated and awake when I should be in bed. Head is ringing full of ideas. Play my guitar aware I am probably annoying the neighbours but don't stop until I am ready, would normally feel too shy.
13P 30 XX.XX NS

Another argument, but I am able to express my needs more than usual. This has been a general trend for the past two weeks.
15P 23 XX.XX NS

Sex & Birth & Death

Lying in bed dozing, a white spray appeared on right hand side of my bed, It lasted only one or two seconds.
05P 23 XX.XX NS

General feeling on first taking the remedy was a euphoria followed by giggling and panicky sensation. Felt very much like a teenager taking a 'recreational drug' for the first time - a definite "coming up" sensation. later it was if I was drunk. I felt very amorous.
11P 01 XX.XX NS

During meditation had immediate image of a fish. Shapes came into mind, petal like, like the shape you get when you divide a circle up with a pair of compasses at school overlapping to form a flower. [Vesica Piscis]
5P 01 18.20 NS

A wild party night. Starting to worry about the amount of male company I have had recently. I am enjoying it but I feel like my bubble is about to burst and some kind of lesson is about to be learnt. Part of me feels guilty for stringing all these people along but part of me realises that they are only using me. I feel confused, I need some space to calm down and reflect otherwise it will all end in tears.
09P 22 XX.XX NS

Everything was hard - I had to work hard to keep going with my life and unusually felt quite unsexual and had no desire for sex, which my partner complained about. I felt stupid at work and could not concentrate. I felt that my relationship with my supervisor started off full of excitement and in the end I bored her with my lack of symptoms. It always felt dormant and never really came out to play, although I did not consciously try to block my experience. It was disappointing and not what I expected.
11P 00 XX.XX NS

I have had a complete lack of interest in sex. I think I have had sexual dreams but they have not been intensely erotic, more functional, disconnected or laughable.
14P 00 XX.XX NS

My partner has been bitterly complaining that we don't have sex often enough, I feel fairly indifferent to it, worse than ever before and it is causing a lot of problems.
15P 00 XX.XX NS

I feel that I am being teased. That I am a safe object to be played with for a bit of fun but not an object for actual sex. Feels that no one would ever want to have sex with me. On the other hand there are other things that are more important. Not sure I want it. Like being teased?
22P 55 XX.XX NS

Disconnected from Self

Jumped several times at my own reflection when back at the campsite.
03P 01 XX.XX NS

I felt quite scared of my reflection in the window felt that their was something evil. In myself I felt quite psychotic and unpredictable scared of these changing feelings and impulses I was experiencing. Very jumpy and on edge.
09P 03 XX.XX NS

On arriving home after driving for an hour I got out of my car and felt very ape-like and acted as such. Upon looking at myself in he mirror, I felt very aggressive, as if seeing another ape and I acted out the sensations. I then laughed and became a friendly ape again. I looked very different to myself in the mirror.
11P 01 XX.XX NS

I cannot tell my state from the proving state. I feel very dull and disorientated.
11P 25 XX.XX NS

I have a constant fear of cancer. When I think of being with cancer it explains the state that I feel - the sense of dis-ease. I don't feel my self, I feel unattractive and ill, run-down.
11P 25 XX.XX NS

I have felt it impossible to connect with anything or anybody, including myself. The barrier has left me feeling isolated and discontented except when at home often where I have felt safe and more content.
14P 00 XX.XX NS

Felt head and thoughts swimming a bit. With the hearing still being poor and the muzzy head and difficulty in hearing I feel separated from everything , including myself. I feel in a bit of a dream, like being under thick murky liquid.
14P 04 XX.XX NS

Got home and made dinner though still not really hungry. Felt much better after eating. More content and connected. More energy.
14P 06 XX.XX NS

Distortion

My breasts feel bigger or is it my hands are smaller. Keep looking at them; fingers held tight together, thumb held in. On contact of skin it feels smoother, water feels and tastes wetter.
01P 01 23.00 NS

Immediately feel as if I have two hearts, try to locate where they are. One is central chest other over left carotid area. Lungs feel as if they are breathing independently, they look square to my senses rather than lung shape and symmetrical as usual. They feel like a pair of bellows working independently rather than separately, this is not a perception this feels very real.
01P 01 23.30 NS

Cough getting worse - sputum looks like blood in it. Also seem to be hallucinating - cat food looks like maggots, carpet moving. Temperature 38.5 and rising. Feel like my body trying to force something out - band in centre of body tight like a wasps body. On my own as supervisor at work and only get her answer phone. Sorry Misha can't take this any more have to stop experiment - particularly as temperature now 38.8, still seems to be rising, and feel a swelling on left tonsil like quinsy. Pain in chest left side increasing in intensity. Can't be sure as still hallucinating, but seem to be bringing up blood. Now 3.30 and feeling fine, calm and in control, symptoms disappearing. Temperature back to normal. Took evasive action. I could feel that if I carried on with experiment I would be in danger. Felt resentful angry and out of control. Unpleasantness made me feel tearful, childish, blamed every one I could think of for the way I was feeling. Suddenly I could almost see my self looking down on myself from great height and was reminded that I knew perfectly well how to stop this if I wanted to. Used Reiki technique to push the alien energy back to the centre of my body from damaged bits. Spent from 1pm to 3pm chanting, meditating, taking a walk in the storm, and a long hot bath.
02P 03 XX.XX NS

When I closed my eyes, half asleep, sensation and vision of the bottom of my feet being black and hot - very vivid image. Like charred.
03P 01 24.00 NS

My ring kept falling off my finger as if my fingers had become smaller which was very strange - once I thought about this, I felt as if my hands were becoming very small.
11P 03 XX.XX NS

Thought my child had got into bed with me. On realising I was in B&B thought little girl had come into my room and accidentally got into my bed, lay very still felt spooked. Realised I was wrong went back to sleep.
15P 02 06.45 NS

Invisible

The doors in two different shops wouldn't open for me. The sensors didn't register my presence, compounding my feelings of unreality, being invisible. Once maybe accidental but twice seemed more profound.
13P 05 XX.XX NS

Disconnected from Events

During the meditation that followed taking the remedy, I initially experienced feelings of joy, saw lots of bright colours and was reminded of pictures portraying "paradise". The sounds of the birds outside were very distinct, and there was a general feeling of euphoria. Then the following image presented itself in my third eye: a landscape that reminded me of that after the dropping of the atomic bomb - accompanied by the feeling of calm, but one that was preceded by a dangerous, negative situation. It felt like stagnation, something being suspended. As if everything was numbed and had come to a standstill. Calm and frightening at the same time. Then I saw a kind of mesh composed of a pattern of red and black squares (rectangular, in horizontal position) whose boundaries were blurred.
06P 01 19.00 NS

Went to a party and saw a beautiful sunset, later everyone else commented on the full moon, which I had not seen, I was talking about the sun. Unusual that I had not anticipated the full moon, usually warn others of its approach.
13P 19 XX.XX NS

Phone call from my office to say that my magazine was being closed and all the staff on it made redundant. Initial reaction was ' Oh all right, not to worry' Didn't really register much. Couldn't make a connection with the news. Maybe relief that the job was over - it has been a stressful year.
14P 10 16.00 NS

Moving with the Flow

Had to go to Bristol and as usual got lost. Tried to find my way by means of A-Z which did not work! Called myself an idiot and just let go, turning left or right as impulse guided me. Found way round all back streets to Weston in record time. (Normally have absolutely no sense of direction)
02P 04 XX.XX NS

Felt very efficient, euphoric and enthusiastic about things. Very carefree feeling.
06P 03 XX.XX NS

I am generally less organised than usual, but at the same time don't panic so much. I don't notice time passing by so much. I am calm and slightly forgetful. It feels like I'm on autopilot - things get done without me being aware of it.
06P 03 XX.XX NS

A stillness overcame me which was so alien to the way I had felt all the previous week - I felt in control and not driven by events - it was if everything was unfolding as it should. Although my mental state was calm & relaxed, my physical state was different - blood was pulsating throughout the lower part of my body - I could feel the rush of blood/energy in that area.
08P 01 18.20 NS

I am feeling released and more able to express myself. I started smoking again last night after giving up for 4 months. I realise that I have spent so much energy resisting temptation every now and then I should just let go and not worry so much about things, I am sure it is much healthier. I feel quite happy and balanced I want to concentrate on the positive things in life instead of always dwelling on how bad I am.
09P 17 XX.XX NS

Tomorrow will drive new car for the first time. Expect to feel nervous but notice I am not at all.
13P 01 XX.XX NS

Driving with confidence and pleasure the fog lifted for the big junction, feel things are on my side. Even put my foot down and raced enjoying new comfortable car, going fast!
13P 02 XX.XX NS

At work, mind drifting. I have been in the office for 11/4 hours and I have got nowhere. Not feeling low just feeling washed along and not wanting to make the effort to get grounded and get on.
14P 06 XX.XX NS

Clutter in house today driving me to distraction but done nothing about it. Just want stillness and quiet and smooth and calm inside and out.
14P 21 XX.XX NS

Violence

Takes six hours to drive 260 miles from Devon, several road traffic accidents are the cause of the delay.
01P 02 XX.XX NS

A patient at work became very violent, grabbing a nurse by the throat. I ended up blocking his exit from the unit where I work while trying to explain the situation to irate relative waiting to come in to see someone else. I was surprisingly casual about the intensity of the violence and this concerned me as I was not being careful enough about my own safety. At lunchtime I removed myself from the unit to take stock as I felt I needed a dose of reality!
03P 19 XX.XX NS

In 8 years I have not had anyone collapse on me but the last week 3 patients have, also haven't had any violent incidents for a long time at work but this has happened in the last week. In both circumstances I seemed to cope more calmly and in a more detached manner than I would have expected.
03P 26 XX.XX NS

Annoyed with partner for watching gratuitous scenes of domestic violence on trash TV after we had just watched a good film. Violence disturbed me.
04P 03 23.30 NS

Watched another video again in the evening, Hannibal, which was surprising because this is another scary film I would not even contemplate normally.
08P 03 XX.XX NS

During the 7th week of the proving there were 2 car crashes outside my house. I have lived here over 4 years and have never seen one before.
10P 00 XX.XX NS

Whilst skinning some tomatoes I am reminded of a horrible thing my partner told me about some Russians being skinned alive. I don't seem able to rid myself of these dark thoughts and become quite anxious for company in the evening.
15P 17 17.30 OS

Shock and Paralysis

I knew I was shocked and I felt the shock was from having to pull my self out of the state when I did not really want to. It was as if reality was the remedy state, where I could talk to my self and not need to reason, but no instinctively the answer and the school was the non reality, where there had to be reason and logic.
01P 01 18.30 NS

Both feel as if suffering from mental shock, very fragile. This whole remedy to me seems around shock.
01P 20 XX.XX NS

I turned and hit my face very hard on a wooden post that stands floor to ceiling in the middle of the room. My left eye, cheek and jaw were really sore, I took arnica immediately to prevent bruising and put an ice pack straight onto it. Felt totally in shock, headache, dizzy, had to sit down for over 2 hours and be checked by the doctor.
03P 55 XX.XX NS

Developed this paralysed feeling. Then felt fed up, angry, had no motivation, was not in the mood for doing anything.
06P 04 XX.XX NS

Safe

I do like being out in the fields at night. I have always like exploring but now I am going out at night. I have done some very late night trips around the canal and explored, I don't feel frightened. Even taken others out with me to be in the night. I seem to be more aware of the full moon than I was.
01P 54 XX.XX NS

Brave

Walked to B.B. felt that could see well in the dark and was not worried about walking out on my own as usual.
01P 01 21.00 NS

On the way back to the campsite I turned my torch off in the lanes when cars passed so they wouldn't see me - (my usual reaction would be to turn it on so they didn't hit me).
03P 01 XX.XX NS

Feeling of being invaded, combined with self-confidence. I went to see the room in the house share I was going to move into. The room was absolutely freezing cold and quite dirty, the woman who owned the house wouldn't stop talking or let go of me. I felt invaded straight away. I thought "what a naïve thing to have done, it really sounded much better than it is in reality - have I completely lost it now?". However, once I had realised that it wasn't right for me, I came to the conclusion that I had to get out of there straight away. So I packed my bags and left within 2 hours of my arrival. I felt very good about having taken the right step and having been so assertive - something that normally takes me much longer to implement.
06P 28 XX.XX NS

I have always felt that a women's role was to act submissive and fragile so that the man will feel strong and dominant. Recently I have felt like playing men at their own game, I feel strong in myself and not so caught up in how I appear, people (men) can take me as I come.
09P 20 XX.XX NS

Feeling confident and brave driving home with a detour to the airport, even getting lost in Bristol after dark didn't frighten me.
13P 02 XX.XX NS

Reckless

I feel now that I want go out and play, it does not seem like anyone else wants too. So better be sensible.
01P 01 19.00 NS

Driving fast, window down, music blaring, exhilarated. Just want to go! Slowed down for a moment for slightly worrying burning smell in car, then back to full speed.
04P 02 XX.XX NS

In the evening on the way home I was aware that I was driving recklessly. I was going too fast and I had to really concentrate on the road. which was difficult as my head still felt dull. This feeling got worse as it became darker.
06P 02 19.00 NS

I have this real urge to be reckless. I want to party all night and watch the sun come up. Feeling mischievous and carefree.
09P 14 XX.XX NS

Got to the pub and thought 'is this it?'. Felt like going clubbing but had to make do with Uffculme on a Saturday night. Felt like drinking a lot and getting pissed. Was quite excited and high. I didn't want to go back to the B&B after the pub shut, I wanted to go dancing.
10P 01 21.00 NS

Focussed

Feel very energised and focused. Spent the whole day working on homework. Work that I couldn't be bothered to do three weeks ago. Nothing else seemed to matter, even observing my symptoms seem to he forgotten.
06P 24 XX.XX NS

I feel very energised again. My thinking was clear. I was very focused and able to complete lots of work today.
06P 27 XX.XX NS

I feel really sharp and quick minded. I can tackle tasks quickly and efficiently, done many things. Time has passed quickly. My concentration is good and I can focus well. Quite hyperactive.
09P 03 XX.XX NS

Enjoying work when I'm in it because of lack of internal distraction.
21P 00 XX.XX IOS

Running on

Swam as usual but did not want to get out of pool as stroke seemed stronger and managed to do 2 extra lengths. Did not want to go into Sauna as usual.
01P 00 XX.XX NS

I had gone into a field looking for a healing centre, realised it was the wrong field and still continued down it regardless under compulsion to go to the bottom, resulting in being stuck in the mud and having to be towed out!
03P 16 XX.XX NS

Once I or we started doing something we were on a mission, driven, on tracks - hard to stop, hard to change direction. At first this was OK but it became somewhat overwhelming and I ended up feeling as depressed and fed up with the monotony of life (if not more so) as I ever have.
04P 00 XX.XX NS

Have noticed the last few days that it's increasingly hard to stop working. Once I can't seem to stop. Even taking a break is difficult (I'm rebuilding our kitchen).
04P 12 XX.XX IOS

Feel the need to get going and sort out things (which could wait).
08P 03 XX.XX NS

Am still into watching films, so have probably watched more TV since last weekend than I do normally in a month.
08P 09 XX.XX NS

I became quite carried away over the past few weeks I think I have pushed myself far enough, my conscience can't take anymore.
09P 23 XX.XX NS

I knew from the start that it wouldn't work but I carry on and then wonder what is wrong with me. I know what's wrong, you don't fancy this bloke and you're not in love. Can't you see?
09P 35 XX.XX NS

On my way to bed I had the urge to put away the washing, sweep the floor and clean the bathroom (I'm normally really messy & virtually never do any work in the evenings).
10P 38 XX.XX NS

Greed - seems to be tiring me out, not wanting to end the day and go to bed, not satisfied with one drink wanting many, smoking too much, etc.
13P 00 XX.XX NS

The sense of being in limbo, not fully present unable to focus or concentrate or even stop crying was very strong. There seemed to be no way through no obvious direction, I was being pushed and pulled in more than one direction. I wasn't sure where I needed to be but I had a really strong impulse to keep moving.
13P 59 XX.XX NS

Felt exhausted, heavy tired and overwhelmed, Went out without breakfast. Toe felt bruised but a bit better. Had to go out and get papers and bits of shopping but felt too alone and uncomfortable to do more than was essential. Sat and watched rubbish on TV all afternoon. Couldn't get up and do anything else. Had soup for lunch and then nothing else for the rest of the day.
14P 15 XX.XX NS

Lacking Boundaries

Feel need to shut curtain, which I would normally have open, did not want to be seen.
01P 01 23.00 NS

Go to bed really wary to open window in case something comes in, normally insist on window open. Feel nervous about people being able to see through windows, as never use curtains, don't even have as house private. Light candle for comfort to protect, and brought huge piece of Amethyst into bedroom, never felt need before. Shut bedroom door, usually like it open.
01P 02 23.00 NS

I had the desire to urinate over my front gate to mark my territory.
11P 01 XX.XX IOs

The taliban were driven out of Kabul today feels like an important moment. This quote from BBC gave me a sense of some relief, some humane reality. "Men can shave; women can show their faces and children can fly kites again today."
13P 32 XX.XX NS

Shaved off my beard after more than 25 years. Don't really know why just felt that I should give it a go don't like it and will grow it back. Face feels very cold, exposed to the elements.
22P 48 XX.XX NS

Vulnerable

Feeling frightened - getting very ill very quickly. Vomiting on empty stomach - not eaten properly since first day.
02P 03 11.30 NS

It was raining heavily and I was terrified of it. Anxiety in solar plexus.
05P 11 15.00 NS

Just got shouted at by the man next door moaning about the fact that I am doing my washing at 11.45pm, he says the washing machine and dryers are noisy and keep him awake. I felt really calm as he shouted aggressively at me pointing his finger in my face. For the rest of the night I felt really anxious, still feeling that something bad is going to happen.
09P 31 XX.XX NS

While we were walking along the dark road with no pavement, I was anxious about the cars. My two friends were making me very anxious because they were walking in the middle of the road.
10P 01 19.00 NS

When driving home I found other drivers coming up from behind quite threatening and I drove quite fast. I was scared, as if driving under the influence of drink or drugs and felt if I was stopped by the Police that I would appear so to them, which worried me. The car lights all s seemed very bright.
11P 01 XX.XX NS

Fear that the train moved when the light was yellow shouldn't it be green? Waiting for the crash and explosion, aware of being over-excitable, but everything is intensely vivid.
13P 01 XX.XX NS

Slight fear of dark, bit jumpy. On going to bed felt weak, bit shaky heart beating fast again. Hot flush esp. face better for cold.
15P 02 23.15 NS

Suspicious

Feelings of persecution, suspicion and paranoia all day. I suspected people (fellow homœopaths) had taken my ads down in the shopping centre or had the feeling that a parent had been listening outside the classroom all the time while I was teaching their children. Feeling as if somebody is watching me, persecuting me! Someone behind my back all the time?
06P 06 XX.XX NS

I felt uncomfortable with so many people around, paranoid, chatty and then unsociable quick changes in mood. Ready to go out partying then wanting to be on my own. In the end I needed to escape and be on my own didn't feel accepted in the group situation.
09P 01 20.00 NS

At work I felt a bit of an outsider. The girls were being really bitchy and it was really affecting me I can usually ignore it. I felt as if I was being laughed at.
09P 05 XX.XX NS

When I wasn't talking, I found it interesting to look around at all the people in the pub. Noticed some security cameras I hadn't seen before - thought it was odd in a pub where people are supposed to relax.
10P 01 XX.XX NS

I am very paranoid that I have cancer - that the proving has given me cancer - I keep forgetting that I am on the proving and think that I have cancer.
11P 52 XX.XX NS

Attacked

Sitting next to me in the lecture is someone who did not want to participate in taking the remedy, I am aware that she is taking Rescue remedy. I wish I could ask her not to, but then that is insisting on my needs rather than hers. I can smell the remedy as she takes it, it seems to permeate over me and the mist starts to evaporate from the side nearest to her. I feel the warmth start to leave my body and the slow feeling of shock starts to emerge. I am angry that someone has caused this influence on me. The rescue remedy seems to be antidoting my lovely state. I notice my feet become very cold, then my hands and I start to shiver. I now have to leave the room to be away from the essence of the rescue remedy and the fact that I am angry at someone. The rest of the day goes as if I have lost something, I feel real sadness that the effect of the remedy seems to have been taken form me.
01P 02 XX.XX NS

The whole of my experience of the proving was inexorably linked to being criminally harassed for money by an old acquaintance of mine. I met him for the first time in years as I was on my way to the base-line consultation at my proving supervisors flat, prior to the proving. I discovered that night that she was actually, co-incidentally, renting this chap's old room. When I got back from the homœopathy weekend of taking the proving, he had delivered a letter to my girlfriend demanding, with menace, money he believed I owed him from 15 years ago when we were in a band together. Bizarre. Some verbal harassment, a couple of letters, and 2 broken windows. Things started to get a bit heavy, with repeated abusive phonecalls to myself and my parents. The police got involved and have eventually managed to calm him down with an harassment notice.
04P 00 XX.XX NS

This morning, I experienced being under attack! I went to the dentist in the morning and had the worst experience there ever! He was not my normal dentist, and I had my suspicions even before I went. I thought that I shouldn't always worry so much and try it anyway, that it would probably be OK. He examined my teeth and decided I needed lots of fillings. I knew there would be one where a bit of tooth had broken off, but I hadn't expected so many others! Again, I felt very suspicious. I thought he just wanted to rip me off by doing more than absolutely necessary, but there was also the general feeling that I didn't trust him 100%. He went on to give me the injection (left lower gum), and the minute he put the needle in, I knew that something was wrong. It hurt badly, and the needle felt like a 15 cm long thick nail! I could see this image in front of me, a big, thick, heavy, hard, metal syringe! I indicated that it was painful and that he should stop, but he kept pushing the substance in and told me "Don't do that!". I started moving in the chair, it felt a bit like a slightly convulsive state, and again he told me to keep still. I also had felt this jolt going up to my left eye the minute he had stuck the needle in, and the whole left side was very sensitive and numb immediately, from the shock, rather than the substance. Anyway, when he had finished with the syringe, he told me off again, despite the fact that I had told him that I had felt severe pain and that I actually now had lost my left field of vision. He talked about having hit a nerve and explained it in a very scientific way, but I couldn't take any of it in, being very dazed and confused, not able to see much with my left eye and being under total shock in general. When my vision came back, the left field of vision was "out of focus", i.e. it was not on the same level as the right one. It was similar to the area for focusing on a SLR camera, where two halves exist when the picture is out of focus. It took about 10 to 20 minutes to calm down and get back into a normal state. I had never experienced anything like this before. I don't mind needles in general and don't feel anxious going to the dentist. This one was the "dentist from hell", a situation that I normally wouldn't have entered into. What was extraordinary about that situation was the extreme assertiveness with which I got out of the dentist's chair and told him that I wouldn't go through with the rest of the treatment and then just walked out. He told me I didn't have to pay, which kind of confirmed that he must have felt he had done something wrong himself. Whatever it was, the experience was out of the ordinary. It was like I ran into this dangerous situation where I would be "under attack", but I got myself out of it in time. Immediately after I got out of the practice, my nose started running like crazy, producing a thin fluid. There was also lots of sneezing and I felt shivery. (This continued until I went to bed at night - the nose kept running constantly.) When I came home afterwards, I also felt very drained and exhausted and felt sorry for myself. All motivation to do anything else that day had left me; [I felt defeated]. After a while in bed, I got up in the late afternoon and felt more energetic again. Note: I saw my normal dentist a week later and everything went fine. He only did the one filling and even explained to me that it might be slightly unpleasant to inject into that area of the mouth - I hadn't told him about my visit to and awful experience with the other dentist, so he didn't know anything. However, this time, I didn't feel any pain whatsoever.
06P 25 XX.XX NS

Sensitive

After taking the remedy my senses were immediately heightened. I was listening intently to the birds singing outside and I could hear what sounded like big trucks going by on the road outside. There was also a distinct smell of burning which later turned out to be a wasp which had been caught on the light and burnt to death.
06P 01 19.00 NS

Felt very heavy-headed all morning. There was also this calm feeling, as if drugged, accompanied by heightened senses, being very alert.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

Sounds were enhanced in the room, I thought this is how I have felt all week, as if I had to complete things even though it wasn't necessarily a good time or enough time to do it.
08P 01 18.20 NS

Sense perceptions of noise and smell are still very much enhanced.
08P 02 XX.XX NS

Relaxed and euphoric feeling anticipation of something exciting, starting to happen. Very aware of my surroundings. the birdsong is really loud even though it is dusk, louder than the traffic noise. Can see loads of flying things, a fly flew right at my left eye in a split second I could see it coming even though it was so small and hear its tiny noise. All sense seem very acute - notice the paint peeling on the security camera how incongruous it is in front of the huge blue sky.
13P 01 18.20 NS

All day have been feeling resentful of being touched, having my space invaded by children, want to shout "leave me alone". Wonder if it is all my fault that friends are shallow and undependable. Do I prefer the company of idiots to my own, am I that lonely?
13P 31 XX.XX NS

Irritable

Feel irritable, cooled down physically then heated up again, wanted to stand outside the classroom as I couldn't sit still and I was feeling snappy with classmates and didn't want to say something I regretted. Was irritable with staff over finances - unsure if I would have been so irritated normally.
03P 02 XX.XX NS

Felt really grumpy all day for no reason at all, and antisocial.
03P 06 XX.XX NS

Wanted to be alone, was snappy with others and this made me feel bad. When I did speak I kept feeling that I was saying the wrong thing and offending people.
03P 07 XX.XX NS

Gross irritation all afternoon, can't cope, want to cry, want to shout at everyone.
05P 02 XX.XX NS

Hugely irritated in my Solar Plexus. Wanted to hit out and scream at most people.
05P 07 XX.XX NS

Feeling irritable today at times, especially when there's lots of noise and people talking loudly.
06P 21 XX.XX NS

Wildly angry that I can't get at the computer. Partner in the way, impatient.
13P 08 XX.XX NS

Shame & Guilt

Another mental and emotional theme was guilt - a sense of some karmic judgement day approaching when I would have to face all to all my petty sins. Being watched and feeling strange in others eyes. Being at times very visible, and at others invisible. At times I experienced paranoia about nothing and at others I felt blasé and matter of fact when I would normally have been concerned.
04P 00 XX.XX NS

In a DIY shop, their computer wasn't working. I had to stop myself saying "Is it something I've done?" I realised it had been on the tip of my tongue to say this more than a few times since taking the remedy. [Strange - 'Guilty as if he has committed a crime' ]
04P 23 XX.XX NS

Woke about 7 a.m. Felt a huge fear in the pit of my stomach. Was terrified that someone would find me out. I know I've done something really dreadful and that I would be discovered. I need to do all my paperwork to cover my trail, I've got to hurry to do everything.
05P 08 07.00 NS

I am feeling a bit ugly and unattractive, down in myself. I feel as if I've been on my own for ages. Dwelling on situations and people that have upset me.
09P 06 XX.XX OS

I suddenly got all weepy and burst into tears because I thought I was a terrible mother. Why I am so mean to my daughter when I should be making her feel loved, secure and wanted?
10P 38 XX.XX NS

Panic, I have lost my proving notebook. Feeling pressure to do homework, have lost interest in proving and have begun to find it quite demanding of my time and energy. Am distraught that I really can't find my book.
13P 20 XX.XX NS

Am still worried about finding my book. Make lots of effort but no progress. Gradually emptying all the bookshelves a fruitless search. Frustration. Can't phone supervisor, her number is in the book! didn't speak to her yesterday. Wonder if this is punishment for having a toke on a spliff at a Hallowe'en party on day 19.
13P 22 XX.XX NS

Feeling insecure and anxious. Feel a bit of a fraud, have I let the side down?
13P 22 XX.XX NS

Emotional highs and lows, feeling lost without book and contact with proving supervisor. Have tried to find her number will have to confess soon. Disappointed and ashamed to have to explain my ineptitude.
13P 23 XX.XX NS

I felt I was missing something looked to my right and inside Aggarwal on the only bookshelf not to have been emptied, was my proving diary folded up between the pages. All this time it was within reach just hidden! Feelings of joy, relief, bliss, double happiness, maybe I am not an idiot after all.
13P 25 XX.XX NS

Horrible experience at a meeting at school. Youngest child running around and laughing so much that we were asked to leave (the introductory seminar on Martial arts training and discipline in young children!) Embarrassed but feel this is unfortunate, moreover, feel I am being laughed at and distanced from friends. Women in a position to help turned away and it really upset me. I felt they were judging me and disassociating themselves with us to impress these martial arts people. Unfair. Realise I am probably over reacting but am sure I am right.
13P 31 XX.XX NS

Lost my temper with my son and hit him. Later cried for about half an hour because of guilt . Very puffy, swollen eyelids in the morning
15P 51 XX.XX NS

Clairvoyance

Had feeling of this presence that is trying to contact me again today, have not experienced this during day before. Sensation of cool air on my lower back, and being stroked lasted for several mins until I moved.
01P 54 XX.XX NS

Have made several phone calls today when I thought people had left messages on my answer phone, only to find, that they had intended to do but had not done so just yet. This has happened at odd times before, but since the remedy my clairvoyant state seems to have been developed. I am happy with that.
01P 54 XX.XX NS

Feel able to control my own destiny and fully in touch with higher powers.
02P 03 XX.XX NS

Lacking Concentration

My muscles were very relaxed. I felt very contented, but it felt difficult concentrating on what was being said. My head felt so dull.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

Felt hung over all morning (Did not drink alcohol the night before). Hard to concentrate. Wanted to be at home.
14P 02 XX.XX NS

Moments of head slipping away. A kind of falling sensation but with no sense of up and down. Losing balance. Trying hard to start on homework and I'm finding it hard to concentrate again. Mental work is soporific. It is almost painful but the harder I try to think the worse I feel. Feeling of heaviness, of sinking.
14P 09 14.00 NS

Slight but constant swimming in the head. Hard to concentrate, particularly towards the end of the working day. Felt I had been totally unproductive but I had done a number of things that need doing.
14P 19 XX.XX NS

Confused

Today have been a bit muddled, (a blonde day say some) normally can be quite professional and real off the answers quite well, but today had to concentrate to drag the answers out of my brain.
01P 03 XX.XX NS

When I drove from college to Uffculme corner it seemed to take much longer than usual, I became convinced I was on the wrong road.
03P 01 20.00 NS

I felt confused when being driven to the airport. The lanes on the motorway seemed wrong - I could not decide whether the other cars are in the right lane - are we in Britain or Germany? I don't normally get confused about this, having lived in Ireland for 7 years, I am used to driving on the left side of the road!
06P 02 XX.XX NS

I am judging car headlights wrong - the brightness - people flash me with full beam and I do not know why. I am like a speeding dark black fast moving mass that scares people so they have to illuminate me to see what on earth I am. (Driving at night).
11P 27 XX.XX NS

Going to lunch with friend got confused on the way as to who I was going to lunch with and had to concentrate very hard to decide between three apparently possible people! (None of whom I usually see for lunch) Then sailed past turnings and shops several times despite being on very familiar ground - seemed to forget where I was going. Felt very confused.
12P 08 XX.XX NS

More mistakes typing words, usually would feel a mistake, like playing a piano and hitting a wrong note.
13P 12 XX.XX NS

Disappear without saying goodbye, shoot off and get very lost. Instead of stopping to consider I follow my nose and drive totally the wrong way. Fail to recognise the route home, familiar roundabouts seem absolutely unknown to me, reading the signs, racing to make up lost time. The lights are bright and glaring.
13P 30 XX.XX NS

Very forgetful, like when I was pregnant, cannot finish a job or remember to lock doors, etc. Went shopping and forgot to bring the car home! Feel lost and slowed down by all the traumas. Feels heavy and slow, thinking is this depression?
13P 49 XX.XX NS

Being outside of home - particularly outside, walking the streets, I have felt directionless and lost and this has been connected I think to constantly taking wrong turnings, though this has been more in the car.
14P 00 XX.XX NS

Seconds of complete disorientation. Like being spun upside-down and round and round. Not sure which way is up just for a few seconds at a time. Lasted about 30mins on and off.
14P 07 14.00 NS

Still doing odd confused clumsy things. Tried to sign the bill with the wrong end of the pen. Being forgetful, losing my way.
14P 24 XX.XX NS

Clumsy

Knocked a cup of tea off the side unit in a pretty sudden and surprising way!
03P 02 17.00 NS

Didn't want to go out at all but had to go to dance class at 20.00 for an hour. On a journey I know well I took wrong turnings twice I just couldn't pull myself together to concentrate on where I was and where I was going. So much effort. Usually tired disconnected feelings would lift while dancing but I couldn't shake it off. Made lots of mistakes with steps, couldn't get into the rhythm of the music. All seemed like too much hard work. Couldn't connect. Glad when we finished.
14P 04 XX.XX NS

Out of Control

I have such a sense of physical energy around me. I can almost touch it, it seems as if sparks, and little balls of energy are whizzing around the room. My thoughts are so fast I am amazed how quickly I can type. I seem to know exactly how to express my self, it makes me laugh allowed ( aloud- interesting spelling mistake) with happiness.
01P 32 XX.XX NS

Fridge broke down this morning and put very old one on to get cold then went to church leaving 18 yr old daughter alone, asleep in bed. Got to church and suddenly remembered checking the old fridge to see if it was getting cold and noticing that the condenser was warm. Suddenly thought it shouldn't have been and that the fridge was faulty and became convinced that the fridge had caught fire, set the house alight and afraid that my daughter would not wake (even though we have smoke alarms, including one just outside her door) that she would be trapped and burned alive. Fought with this through first part of service but eventually decided I had to go home and check. Drove home to neighbouring village. I wasn't panicking but seemed to be quite calm on journey. Realised at one point that the house couldn't be well alight because by then I would see the smoke! Arrived back, all looked well but had to go in to room to check fridge was really ok. Drove back to church just in time to catch end of service and found I was quite shaky and tearful for about ten minutes before I managed to pull myself together. Don't know if this was because I had been worried or because I felt concerned that I had reacted to such an irrational fear. However when I left sometime later, I went home in one direction while my husband (who had been taking the service, not sitting with me) went in the opposite direction and briefly became worried that as I wasn't following him he might be in an accident and I wouldn't find him. After the previous performance I was able to brush this aside and was by now thinking that this might be connected to the proving. Do not ever remember doing this before - usually very calm and sensible about danger to children etc.
12P 12 XX.XX NS

Blurted out what was being expressed in the atmosphere. Immediately felt embarrassed felt I was being cheeky, provocative, no control of thought to speech pattern.
13P 02 XX.XX NS

Feeling quite unreal, detached from everything happening around me. Get so impatient that I have to cover my face to stop myself from shouting or screaming or swearing at the children. Thought I might fall over with the strain of not saying anything. Don't want to cause a big fight.. Mood swings from tranquil to raging without warning, suddenly lose control. Might feel better from eating but food is difficult to eat. Like raw salad vegetables, to cool me down, but don't feel hungry forgetting to eat.
13P 05 XX.XX NS

Feeling of chaos hung around all day. Feeling tense and uncontrollable, everything is buzzing.
13P 23 XX.XX NS

Dreams of dreaming and lucid dreams	Danger and violence	Dangerous animals
Dangerous ghosts	Children & animals in danger, abused or deformed
Shame & guilt	Privacy & embarrassment	Sex & sexual imagery
Dirt	Disease
Communication & foreign languages	Obstruction & doors	Things are incomplete
Clothing & possessions	Loosing teeth or toes	Dichotomies
Other significant dreams	Other dreams

Woke once I think, questioning am I awake or am I dreaming that I am awake. Is it night or is it day in my bedroom.
01P 03 XX.XX NS

Dreamt of being on a train, aware in dream that someone was on the track about to shine a laser beam into the eyes of the passengers, so we looked away to prevent the beam going into our eyes, but due to the trees flashing by we all passed out, like an induced epileptic state causing unconscious. Resumed consciousness as train was coming into sidings. Still in the dream I was aware that I was about being in the unconscious state, and aware that I was dreaming in my dream. I have never experienced this state of dreaming I was dreaming except since taking the remedy.
01P 05 XX.XX NS

Dream about dreaming again. I wake up and I realise I am still in my dream. This is a constant symptom that I have never experienced prior to taking this remedy and now has happened at least 6-7 times.
01P 22 XX.XX NS

Dream remember saying "are you dreaming" to someone in dream, aware of being able to orchestrate dream. Woke up feeling as if I haven't been asleep at all.
13P 31 XX.XX NS

Danger and violence

I was in a group? the military? Under threat - my van had a 'bug' which was a harmful illness somewhere in the back of it so I had to wash all my clothes, sheets etc., but I had packed up my house so had to stand my washing machine in the street and run it off the car!. It seemed to take ages. Meanwhile people were ready to leave their work to drive off elsewhere. There were news teams there too. Then a large egg fell from the sky and exploded a big caravan. We were giving commiseration to the military people in losing colleagues. I was waiting for the washing to finish and couldn't work out how to pack it wet. Striking feeling on waking was surprise that I had no fear of this 'bug'.
03P 10 XX.XX NS

Some men own a house where other people live but beat them up regularly. My friend lives there. It is impossible to get away from these guys when they arrive. I was visiting my friend and her son, and in the night the door was knocked. I was scared, knew it must be them and asked her if she usually ran away at this point. She said she couldn't and went to let them in - I thought she'd say her son was asleep but I hid under the bed and kept quiet. Next thing I was being pulled out by the feet and was really scared.
03P 25 XX.XX NS

Being made to swim in a river with a few others which we knew led to a really cold sea - got in and then out fairly soon. Walked over a bridge, a close friend went into the faster river - I was scared of doing this and worried about her drowning.
03P 28 XX.XX NS

I was leading a group of 5 adults and children out of a snowy town which had been taken over in war and their lives were at risk. I was wearing a white cape with a hood to look like a monk and at times they were in a vehicle, at other times walking behind me. The cape had press studs on the front and one of the adults kept holding it too tight and the cape pulled off, revealing my true identity so I got irate telling her to hold it more gently.
03P 30 XX.XX NS

Trapped in a house with someone familiar to me but I can't recognize. A man was trying to keep us there. Got to a phone and dialled 999, spoke to my mother (weird as no one would call my mother in an emergency). I told her to send the police, she seemed very calm. I thought "Thank goodness that's all done with".
05P 04 XX.XX NS

This is what I call the "persecution dream". In it, I was in an airport building, going down an escalator, when these four or five men approached and kind of circled/surrounded me. I felt that I had to get away from them, so I stepped away a bit and was on my own again. After a while, they came again and I knew now they definitely meant danger. I sort of felt guilty, but I knew I hadn't done anything to offend them or anybody else. I managed to run away and came to this big open window. I looked out of it into a courtyard, and I saw a potential escape route over the roofs that were underneath the window. I saw that they would lead me down into the courtyard. So I escaped through the window. In the courtyard, I saw this little shed (like a tiny house) with a garden in front and hid in it, knowing that this was probably a stupid hiding place and that they would find me there sooner or later. I felt I should leave and look for better alternatives, but I stayed nevertheless. After a while, two of the guys appeared, both with guns. They found me hiding under a bush or something (can't remember), and the first one pointed his gun at me. He fired it, but had run out of bullets, so couldn't kill me. I saw how the other one was getting ready, but jumped up, grabbed the gun and pointed it at him, so he ended up shooting himself. The feeling after that was that I had indeed escaped, but it was quite a narrow one. I woke up afterwards and felt really agitated and awake. I knew this was one of the key dreams I had had for a while. Very graphic and real. Woke up at 4 am, sleepless afterwards with feeling of threat.
06P 12 XX.XX NS

I was in a van (with a friend) and the brakes wouldn't work. I couldn't stop it. I did eventually manage to stop it but I felt scared.
06P 12 XX.XX NS

I woke up after a bad dream. In the dream, a man had come into my bedroom I was lying on my stomach in bed. He lay on top of me. I pretended to be asleep. He got off me, but stayed in the room. When I got a chance, I ran out of the room, but in the next room were other people who wouldn't let me escape. I felt I was a prisoner.
06P 30 XX.XX NS

Being at the fairground on a big wheel type ride. Feeling very unsafe.
09P 03 XX.XX NS

A dream on a boat where I stepped out of a door onto the side of the ship, which was rolling about in a storm and there were no railings. I warned two kids about this who were messing around.
11P 08 XX.XX NS

I have a dream that I live in a white cottage in a tourist seaside place, like Boscastle in Cornwall. I am doing something to the outside of my cottage and two blokes come and look at what I am doing and peer, into my door. They go inside, seeing my girlfriend and hassle her - taunt her sexually and ogle her. I go in and manhandle them out of the house aggressively but I am disturbed because I feel that I do not have the physical strength to really back up my aggression. This surprises me in the dream, yet I do get rid of them.
11P 26 XX.XX NS

Dream of WWII, I am married to a man (an ex boyfriend) we are outside under the stars, a bomb falls and he is hit with shrapnel in the leg. He is dying but no one has told me, he only has 4 hours to live but he is smiling at me.
15P 38 XX.XX NS

Dream I am driving a car with no brakes, I drive up a very steep hill but discover that it is a one way system and I am going the wrong way - I feel very out of control.
15P 39 XX.XX NS

I dream I have been taken prisoner by a strange gang (like a cult) of young men. They have kept me hidden for years and I have had a baby by one of them. I am always trying to escape, the dream spans about two years.
15P 42 XX.XX NS

On a bus to London lots of dreams of accidents happening all around me. Have had other dreams of accidents but not happening to me.
22P 20 XX.XX NS

Dangerous animals

Dream - I had a pet python snake in a glass cage in my shop/ tearoom and a woman wanted to borrow it. I was telling her how to hold it but didn't get round to (and didn't want to) pick it up myself. I kept making cups of coffee and spilling them on the table and floor in a clumsy way.
03P 03 XX.XX NS

Green snake was trying to attack me and I kept having to throw it away to protect myself but it just kept coming back.
09P 16 XX.XX NS

Dreams of very busy decision making, image of being dragged along by an angry dog on a lead, with a leather and studded collar. A short muscular fighting dog bull-terrior? Feeling it was an effort to restrain and control the dog no choice as to where he was taking me. Gnashing and growling, looking for a fight. Feelings of growing anger and impatience.
13P 05 XX.XX NS

Dream - I am in a supermarket, there are two tigers prowling around. I climb onto the shelves to escape, they look at me but do not try to get me. I have had 4-5 dreams of tigers in the past, they are usually terrifying, this one was just anxious.
15P 03 XX.XX OS

Dream of crocodile chasing me, very scary, told my partner to get a gun, felt very scared afterwards when I woke up.
15P 54 XX.XX NS

Dream: A raven had flown in the bathroom window and I caught it to put it out of the window. I could feel its claws digging into my chest as I held it and the sensation and pain were incredibly real.
22P 16 XX.XX NS

Dangerous ghosts

I had a dream that I had been working in an old church-like building all day. I left for the day and everything was locked up for the night. Then I remembered that I'd forgotten something in the building. I went back and saw ghost-like people dressed in puritan-quaker clothes of the 17th century. They all turned round solemnly and looked at me. They telepathically said. "You must do your duty, you must do what is expected of you."
06P 39 XX.XX NS

My Nan had come around to stay. In my dream I had woke during the night from noises downstairs. My Nan was screaming and there was a constant knocking on the downstairs door. I ran downstairs to find my Nan in the kitchen the room was trashed and my Nan was standing there hysterical and petrified. There had been poltergeists in the house and as I looked around towards the stairs I saw a large phantom black beast run up the stairs. A powerful spine-chilling dream which left me quite freaked out.
09P 07 XX.XX NS

Danger from an angry ghost - experienced as heat under a grave-stone.
21P 00 XX.XX NS

Children & animals in danger, abused or deformed

Dream where I was at a school fete and some children were planting sprouts, while others watched creatures hatching - there were creatures with large sea-shells as covers with black webbed feet sticking out underneath - they were hatching from the shells - running around like this, also eggs hatching - some of them with birds inside, others with large spiders inside, all eggs looked the same. There were other creatures which were insects hatching, white and squashed, unfolding visibly - they were slightly translucent creatures which shook out their antennae and so on while hatching.
03P 04 XX.XX NS

Dream, had caravan - camping at the bottom field of a big house, looking after children, a 2 year old was sitting on railway tracks on the other side, a train went through, I was worried about him but he was ok.
03P 14 XX.XX NS

Dreamt that I was pregnant and my time had come to give birth. Got admitted to hospital -more like a big school with lots of other women about to give birth. I had no contractions. Was there for ages, others gave birth but nothing happening for me. I had to put my hand inside myself to feel what was happening - pulled out two hard balls of faeces from my womb. Could still feel another lump so thought that was the baby. Got left alone to continue as everyone else had had their baby. Nothing happened so I went around the 'school' classes looking for the midwife who was also a teacher. I didn't find one. Eventually came to the conclusion that I wasn't pregnant but rather distended from constipation. Earlier in the dream, not sure where, I was helping an adult girl put on a nappy as she was incontinent and very 'juvenile'.
03P 38 XX.XX NS

Dreamt about my Alsatian dog (which I would like but haven't got) who wouldn't come when called so this man I knew (one of my son's school teachers) beat him around the ears & I was sobbing for him to stop as it would deafen the animal, the dog was bleeding around his right ear & I was very upset and weepy.
08P 08 XX.XX NS

I was giving birth to a baby and I felt certain that the afterbirth was still inside even though the nurses assured me it had been expelled. I was more interested in this than the fact that I had given birth to a beautiful baby.
09P 06 XX.XX NS

Dreaming of being pregnant having a scan being told by the doctors that the baby is disabled or deformed in someway. I had to make a decision whether or not to keep it. I decided to go and see some children with disabilities to help me decide. Remember feeling very protective not wanting to get rid of it. I was wearing a skirt that was too tight and I was worried about harming the baby.
09P 08 XX.XX NS

Dream. I found a robin that had become trapped in a shed it was covered in mud and I set it free.
09P 26 XX.XX NS

Dreams all night but only odd images come to mind. A mutilated animal lying in front of me. Something picking at it. There was a sense of revulsion and I wanted to pull someone away from it. Generally feeling of discomfort at dreams.
14P 24 XX.XX NS

Dream there is a rat in my kitchen, it is part albino (head). I am trying to get it out, I manage to catch it (it doesn't run) and put it outside, it is night, as I put it in the garden it turns into my youngest son. I know it is a trick but I feel terribly guilty. "Look out for cats" I say, it repeats it back to me. I feel terrible, I'm not 100% sure it is not my son and I have just shut him out for the night where he will be killed by a cat.
15P 08 XX.XX NS

Dream a man and a woman show me their baby. It has a very small head and loads of long, curly dark hair and massive eyes. Then it is a knitted doll, they put something around its neck and it goes bright red. I say "you're strangling it".
15P 09 XX.XX NS

Dream of going to my children's school with my proving supervisor who was carrying a yellow potty with a yellow chick in it. I asked him why he had brought it and he said because he had to feed it.
15P 36 XX.XX NS

Shame & guilt

Strange dream about two people on a bicycle driving round me in circles pointing fingers at me.
02P 05 XX.XX NS

Wanted to audition for a drama role in a soap opera - I had no experience but put my name down to try and conquer my fear of being on stage (which I have in real life). When I got there it was made clear that I had no chance and I started to get more nervous. Eventually I made the excuse that I wouldn't get it anyway so didn't audition. Felt anxious and disappointed.
03P 23 XX.XX NS

I was a pupil at the language school where I teach. My boss was the teacher. She was getting very angry with me, and I got told off along with other pupils.
04P 07 XX.XX NS

I call this dream "funeral dream". In it, I was back in the village where I grew up. I was in my room when I heard church bells. I knew that was the sign that somebody had died, but that was not all I knew! I was certain that it was this person around my age who is the son of friends of my parents'. He had always been a bit of a weirdo, had always been dependent on his parents to keep him on "the right track", and always got involved in things and with people who weren't what you would call "socially acceptable". Anyway, when I heard the bells in the dream, I knew that they were for him and I also knew that he had committed suicide. I then waited for the phonecall in which his parents would ring our family to tell us about it. However, the phonecall never came. I then became very sad and felt sorry for the guy who had killed himself, thinking, and knowing, that his parents probably didn't even know or care that it was him and didn't bother ringing friends and relatives or even organise the funeral. The next thing was that I saw a hearse driving by, and gain I was certain it was him in it. However, it never got confirmed, the phone call never came. The dream woke me up and it felt quite disturbing. When I thought about it immediately afterwards, I thought that it would be the same if I suddenly died for some reason, nobody really would care or mind or even take notice! I associated the dream with my own death to a certain degree. A very disruptive dream, especially since I feel quite good about life at the moment and I never had suicidal tendencies.
06P 17 XX.XX NS

A long and vivid dream. I was with my girlfriend and she had an accident where a syringe of heron stabbed her in the neck. I felt very guilty, it was my fault and I called the Police and hid in my shed. After they had arrived, I went in and shouted to them. They were upstairs. A Doctor and a medic had helped my girlfriend give birth. I sob and am devastated - I forgot she was pregnant. The 'baby' is a fat black cat. The Doctor is still working on my girlfriend - there is blood - its a dodgy life and death situation.
11P 08 XX.XX NS

Dream that I was at the theatre where I was in a very high box and had to go to the loo and disturbed everyone on the way, which I felt embarrassed about. I could not find my way back and the play was about to start.
11P 08 XX.XX NS

Dream. I am at college, all the students (especially the ones I like) are criticizing my work, I have made a complete hash of it. Feel stupid.
15P 12 XX.XX NS

Dream I am at party (one of the women on the course) I don't know what it is but there is some dark secret about to erupt between her and her partner. I feel very uncomfortable, think I have somehow let the cat out of the bag.
15P 13 XX.XX NS

Dream. I am dreaming of the past when my youngest son is 3 years old and his nursery teacher suggested that he be put into a children's prison for 3 nights because he was being difficult at nursery and at home, he has returned from prison looking sad and humbled, I am telling him that he shouldn't be naughty again. I am totally devastated that I have done this to him, looking back 3 years (I am crying as I write this) my feelings of regret are so strong, I can't believe what I've done, I feel I have damaged him beyond repair and can't believe I did what she told me. My feelings are so strog that I want to die. When I woke from this dream I thought it was really true. I realised I was sleeping on my back, as a child I could not sleep on my back or I would get nightmares. This is one of the two worst dreams I have ever had.
15P 42 XX.XX NS

Dream A group of youngish people invite me round to their party. Feeling is that I am being mocked by them.
22P 07 XX.XX NS

Privacy & embarrassment

An old lady sitting in a large old house in a high backed chair, wearing pyjamas and watching TV. She was alone in the house and a group of us took a shortcut through her house.
03P 07 XX.XX NS

Dream with a group of people in a doctor's surgery & the Dr (she) was showing us exercises we could do with our clothes - a bizarre exercise of stretching our t-shirt or top over our feet and pushing into it to tense the muscles. Later it changed to being in some holiday chalets where everyone could see into each others place - no privacy.
08P 11 XX.XX NS

Sex & sexual imagery

I had a very sexual dream where I was slowly caressing a woman. I was not sure that she wanted me to, so I caressed slowly from top to bottom and was very happy when she opened her legs as a sign of enjoying my ministrations.
11P 30 XX.XX NS

Dream of shapes, like the ones described before (Vesica Piscis) but fatter, squatter, many of them of uniform size and shape but scattered different ways up. I thought of fish scales
15P 02 XX.XX NS

Dream man in black boxer shorts, woman topless, they are taking it in turns to write or make symbols on each other's front and back with a black permanent marker.
15P 09 XX.XX NS

Dream that I was going to have sex with a close friend. Got a condom but it was split. Got another one it was split too but I just ignored it and went ahead. Feeling knew shouldn't but couldn't wait any longer.
22P 01 XX.XX NS

Dream Talking to the wife of a friend on a street corner. She is wearing a bright turquoise tracksuit. Suddenly she makes a gymnastic move and ends up upside down lying up against my legs. She does the splits. I rest my forearm against her sex and she lets go enormous fart. Everyone pretends nothing has happened and her husband appears.
22P 02 XX.XX NS

Dirt

Aware that toilet was blocked, could feel my self pushing white tampon down toilet with index and middle finger of left hand. Could feel the pressure of my fingers. Felt I had to unblocked this as it was a responsibility to others to make it work properly.
01P 02 XX.XX NS

Dream. Of corridor, child coming through door, with grandparent, child sat on loo had bowel movement, heard clunk in the loo. I had to search through faecal matter to find out what the clunk, had been. It turned out to be nut and bolts, and wing nuts that I had to find the partners to.
01P 44 XX.XX NS

Dream that I was peeing shit!! Doctors are confounded. Then everyone got ill. Whole world turned to shit. [This is all quite matter of fact as far as I am concerned]
04P 20 XX.XX NS

Dream about flies and spiders. I said 'you have to have spiders to catch the flies.'
10P 02 XX.XX NS

Woke after dream: I was in university library (left uni 10 years ago) but there were beds in there too. I got up and went to bathroom and when I came back someone had done a prank and coffee had gone all over the place, soaking all my stuff & my bed. My daughter was a baby and was sitting up to her waist in coffee. My ex-partner/daughter's father was there, we had been sleeping together.
10P 04 XX.XX NS

Suddenly remembered a dream from the night before. - A tall impressive woman was going to kiss me and she pulled away, revolted by my bad breath.
22P 06 XX.XX NS

Disease

Also remember about people with wounds that gaped open but did not bleed.
02P 05 XX.XX NS

Dream that I had something wrong with me and had to go hospital.
10P 02 XX.XX NS

Woke after dream: I was doing a proving & blood was pulsating in a blood vessel, making it swell up like bubble gum. The blood was bursting out of the blood vessel making a circle of blood under the skin. When I woke I thought for a moment that I really did feel a twitching sensation in my right buttock but then it stopped.
10P 04 05.00 NS

Dream that I was talking to people when suddenly they could see inside my head and said "look two stigmatisms". My eyes were being x-rayed. I could see inside my head, the right eye was the worst. I was a complex of signs and symptoms a case study for them.
13P 26 XX.XX NS

Communication & foreign languages

Muddled dreams, one about not being able to read instructions on green piece of paper, another about worrying I couldn't get the right fare for the bus-ride.
04P 04 XX.XX NS

I was taking an English oral test as a pupil. I felt well prepared, confident, organised. When I got to the test I realised I didn't have a clue about the procedure, felt stupid for not reading the notes that we had been given about this.
04P 24 XX.XX NS

I dreamt I was going to get married to a man from another culture. I had to meet his parents. I had no feelings.
06P 13 XX.XX NS

Dreamed about being in a restaurant. I didn't know what to order because it was all in a foreign language.
10P 08 XX.XX NS

Dreams of being in service, a waitress? Not knowing the ropes. Where things are and what's on the menu, etc. in a tall and narrow building, everybody is talking a language that I don't understand. Feeling of nervous confusion and horror that I will have to bluff my way. The energy of the place becoming more and more excited and noisy some celebration, festivities and rituals that are all foreign to me. An uncomfortable position to be in, very tiring and distressing. Woke up unable to think what the meaning of this is, feel a bit worried all day.
13P 35 XX.XX NS

Obstruction & doors

Dream: Two patients, I was sister in charge of ward. Patients were wearing white gowns, stained with haematuria, beds were also wet where their catheters had blocked and over flowed around the catheter and leaked into the bed. I studied the catheters to see the cause. The end of the catheter end was faulty and I remember pushing the end with my left index finger. The valve was not working properly. There was some sort of blockage, and by pushing it I could release the valve.
01P 02 XX.XX NS

Dream, painting a door bright green for my dad - a wooden door on a boat.
03P 04 XX.XX NS

Dream where I lived upstairs in an attic of a house and a ladder blocked the bottom of the stairs so I had to climb over it when I wanted to go up.
03P 04 XX.XX NS

Things are incomplete

Another travel dream where I didn't go anywhere in the end. Wanted or had planned to fly to Spain but ended up in a comfy bed elsewhere and didn't go.
03P 07 XX.XX NS

My dreams (which I cannot fully remember) are full of attempts to complete, make whole. Completion and the need to complete flavour them fully. There is often a lot of analysis of a situation, trying to make it complete.
11P 10 XX.XX NS

Clothing & possessions

I had all my clothes strewn all over the floor ready to pack. Was waiting to get a lift to the airport to fly to another country for a holiday. The tickets were on a side unit. I waited but no one turned up and every time I tried to call someone to find out what was happening either their number was not there or had been written over in the book. As the leaving time got nearer and nearer I got more worried as I wouldn't get to the airport but did not make any attempt to pack and didn't think about phoning a taxi until 6.30pm when it was too late to get there for 2 hours before the flight time which was 9.07pm. There wasn't so much a sense of panic or disappointment but more a realization of the situation and awareness that it was unlikely I'd be allowed on the plane at this late stage.
03P 06 XX.XX NS

Had a bus to catch, all my books and possessions were in this bedroom I was renting and I had to go away to London for 2 days. I had everything sorted and was packed, left the room for a moment and when I came back the room was different, my book case had been moved across the room and a young guy smoking a cigar sat on the twin bed in the room. I realized straight away that a mistake had been made and that the room had been double booked because there were 2 keys for the same room. I told him that this was the case and that I was going away so he had to go and sort out getting a different room but he thought he could stay in the room until I returned and would then move. I threatened him that I would kill him if anything happened to my books, didn't trust him and felt my possessions were at risk. His mates were there, I had a bus to catch and couldn't work out how to take the most important things. Then there was a long fish tank in the same house and a friend started emptying it with a bucket - it was huge. I helped her fix the Hoover on reverse with a water pipe attached to pump out the water. The fish tank got stirred up and I got into the tank and waded around trying to rescue on orange fish in my wooly slippers. When I got out my feet were still dry. I felt a need to change so I did this, ran out of the door, got halfway down the street and decided that I needed another cardigan so ran back, got this and ran out again and along the street. I was running hard but hardly moved, ran with effort past a group of walking people on a night out. one was a friend and was pregnant. She helped pull me a bit faster, my sister then ran past me telling me to hurry as the coach was due to leave. I felt heavy and as if I couldn't move against gravity. Eventually I saw the coach up the hill and was moving towards it. Mum and my sister ran on to try and catch it and hold it till I got to it. I knew if I missed it I wouldn't get to a wedding. Woke before I knew if I'd got on it. No sense of worry about missing it. Also somewhere in this dream I had itchy red and white welt insect bites on my back and neck, woke up itchy until I realized they weren't there.
03P 09 XX.XX NS

Dream about people standing in a long line changing their clothes/image it was as if they were enhancing their status by changing clothes.
08P 06 XX.XX NS

Dream buying a flat at the seaside overlooking a grassed children's play area attached to a school - afterwards sorting all of my clothes out to give to a charity shop, I only had a few items left.
08P 22 XX.XX NS

Dream about decorating a house - not painting, but arranging nick nacks. In the dream I decided to hang some curtains over some horrible aluminium doors.
10P 03 XX.XX NS

Dream: I was with someone who was discussing the robes to wear for a commitment ceremony. I was in a bright airy building and we were looking at heavy lace and strong, rich coloured crushed velvets. But there was not enough time to get everything ready and I didn't have the energy. Then I was in a supermarket with with a different teacher arranging the ceremony/ teaching a class and I was feeling very hot and dizzy so I was holding onto the freezer units. The freezer was making parts of me painfully cold. They were so cold I tried to move away but the world was spinning so much it woke me up.
14P 10 XX.XX NS

Dream about packing to go home. My things were hidden about a series of rooms and I was going different hiding places and deciding what I was going to take home. Element of shame and secrecy about it.
22P 28 XX.XX NS

Loosing teeth or toes

I dreamt I was going to the dentist and I was having lots of treatment done on myself. I felt worried, but it was important to me that the treatment was completed.
06P 03 XX.XX NS

I had a dream that I spent all my money having my teeth repaired. I felt determined that I wasn't going to lose my teeth.
06P 37 XX.XX NS

Woke from a dream where all I remembered is that I was trying to talk to someone but my front teeth felt as if they were getting longer and the centre bottom left one started to break, like slithers coming off vertically from the front of it from gum to tip as I spoke and I was embarrassed that it might be seen. Perplexed that there was less and less tooth and that I couldn't feel any pain yet.
14P 19 XX.XX NS

Dream of being a school teacher in Chemistry lab. My tooth, left upper, next to front tooth was falling out. The only way I could stop falling out was to clench my teeth. Boy of about 11 red school jumper and ginger hair standing in doorway I said "Dentist, you must fix my tooth". Woke a lot from dreams.
15P 02 XX.XX NS

Dream I have pulled off some of my toes (especially my right foot) because there was something wrong with them. I manage to stick some of them back on (my right foot) because I am wearing sandals. I am at a big function, I worry about my feet but I have at least managed to get a big toe on my right foot, but there are two big toes, it looks deformed. I regret being so stupid. (Similar to the dream about the big toe - sweetcorn shaped man). After this, every time I see my feet I feel relieved.
15P 10 XX.XX NS

Dream I eat some toffee, my left wisdom tooth cracks and comes out.
15P 14 XX.XX NS

Dichotomies

Dreamt about the choice between becoming a homeopath and another career.
11P 02 XX.XX NS

Woke up, not remembering the exact nature of my dreams, but realising that a great deal of them are about comparing very intensely two similar things - synonyms. Very anxious feeling.
11P 42 XX.XX NS

Dream last night of a dilemma whether to tell my old friend that I really didn't like her new boyfriend. Odd truth or dare dream. Dishonest not to tell her. At the same time I was given a time sheet to sign for work I had not done should I sign it or not? I was tempted but unable to do either.
13P 07 XX.XX NS

Woken in night by boyfriend crying in sleep, he had dream we had two dogs, a black one and a wolf dog. They were playing and the black dog bit the wolf dog on the neck and killed it.
15P 05 XX.XX NS

Dream of two witches fighting or duelling with magic. Very black and white, good and bad. I was the good witch.
22P 32 XX.XX NS

Other significant dreams

Someone was trying to get me to take drugs, wrapped like little pellets placed inside Durex. I was very upset that someone wanted to take drugs themselves.
01P 06 XX.XX NS

Waiting for buses rushing around darting in and out of food shops wanting more and more. I remember eyeing up the man in the bakery.
09P 20 XX.XX NS

Dream of standing over a stream watching the water flow from its source, my thoughts were appearing like strips of shiny paper in the water, some were tumbling and washed away some became rocks, stones on the river bed. Some were larger, sandy colour, visible above the water and these were the ones to wait for. Like going fishing, busy yet inactive, still poised watching. Was aware of the metaphor "stream of consciousness" as soon as I woke up.
13P 20 XX.XX NS

Dream of strange people and places. Tiny envelopes with hidden treasure inside. Small blue and red cellophane wrapped like sweeties, something precious like jewels inside. In the surrounding room are a collection of tiny furniture pieces, well used wooden chairs threadbare carpets, with sales tags arranged,on display. I have a sense that they are antiques from a previous age of "little people" and that they shouldn't be here. It is not right that they are up for sale, they belong to the little people. I am in the company of thieves? Wake up disturbed by the injustice, vivid images last all day.
13P 28 XX.XX NS

Dream of plants twisting and twining around other plants, clematis and twisty willow, someone in my dream says that the clematis will damage and contort the willow.
15P 33 XX.XX NS

Other dreams

Dream of two pregnant women, very, very large. Aware the pressure she would be feeling on the uterus, had to stand to relive downward pressure like contraction.
01P 02 XX.XX NS

Dream about meeting boyfriend's parents, who did not look the same as usual. I was overwhelmed and tearful in the dream when I met them.
01P 05 XX.XX NS

Jet Ranger Helicopter, with Ferrari badge on side. Women jumped on top of rotors on helicopter, so when it took of causing it to crash into trees and hit river bank- 4 bodies, lying on the river bank in a row with their mobile phones in a heap. Could see my self in dilemma which patient to attend to first. The disorder of the phones confused me. I started to assess first patient, then woke up. I awoke from my dream with my telephone in my hand right hand; it is normally by the bedside. I normally do not dream of my self in my professional role or very often see myself from an objective mental or physical view. This has been the third dream where I felt this week I have had to assume this role.
01P 06 XX.XX NS

Dreamt something about large expanse of green grass. Just before I woke up saw the picture judder, I remember thinking oh that must have been a tremor as in an earth quake. Later on thinking about the judder it reminded me of the film predator when you can see the beast against the foliage back ground, that sort of shimmer through water is all I can explain it as.
01P 11 XX.XX NS

Dream: of toe nail clippings on the carpet; I was looking at them from carpet level as if I was only the size of a mouse.
01P 54 XX.XX NS

Moved to house with dodgy electrics which I had to fix. Built a velo (cycling) track in the front room, then raced around on it.
04P 09 XX.XX NS

Was in a storefront with my sister choosing Christmas decorations. Everything was a hard silver colour. Felt bemused, what was I dong there, but happy.
05P 02 XX.XX NS

I dreamt about paintings. In the dream, somebody showed me something they had painted, and I showed them something almost identical I had done. I felt very confident during the dream. The painting consisted of Paisley-type shapes. The shapes were pastel colours - light green, brown, orange, blue, etc.
06P 05 XX.XX NS

I was at a wedding - my own, in fact! And it really was a wonderful dream. In the dream, I thought to myself - it is really true that this is the happiest day of my life. I was in this big garden, people were around everywhere, enjoying themselves. It was a big party and I was the star of the show. I was sitting on this swing and felt really happy and joyful. [I am normally not into all that wedding stuff at all and that I was into it in the dream really surprised me!]
06P 07 XX.XX NS

I can't believe I'm remembering all my dreams, It's so unusual. In this dream, which I had some time in the early morning. I was in a boat travelling away from home, like a refugee. I felt very unhappy, all alone.
06P 11 XX.XX NS

I dreamt I was walking in a town and the ground started to shake. Then in front of me buildings started to collapse.
06P 31 XX.XX NS

In this dream, my mother felt so unhappy that she tried to drown herself I felt upset.
06P 33 XX.XX NS

Dream about neighbours (didn't know them) came in for a cup of tea & brought their pet pigeon, who liked to play football when the ball was knocked towards it - threw the ball for it.
08P 07 XX.XX NS

Very restless night. Dream of car which was mine but had been stripped of all its parts and just the shell remained with the 2 front seats in it. This did not bother me.
08P 16 XX.XX NS

Dream of looking at the moon tonight and it coming closer and closer, the detail on it was amazing. Misha & other students were there too. It was a full moon tonight.
08P 18 XX.XX NS

Being with my sister and a couple of my friends. In the dream we were all going shopping in the middle of the night.
09P 03 XX.XX NS

Dream. A lady from my class at the school was finding some accommodation for me.
09P 12 XX.XX NS

Driving groups of people back and forth into town. Some big carnival on. Lots of my close friends and family were moving on and it was a kind of celebration to mark new beginnings.
09P 05 XX.XX NS

Lots of children that were in the form of butterflies. We were looking for my half sister, my dad's other little girl.
09P 26 XX.XX NS

Dream that I was trying to catch up with an old friend I haven't seen for years. I was walking along the aisle of a train but it had tables like a restaurant. I stole a jar of pesto from a table as I walked passed.
10P 02 XX.XX NS

Dreamed it was the last day of school. There was a lot of tidying to do. A seal suddenly flew in threw the window and landed on the table. We were on the third floor! I ended up trying to find the number of the RSPCA.
10P 10 XX.XX NS

Dreamt that I was playing bowls (crown green) on a nice green and a a circle of threatening black people started to appear around me. I was frightened but played it cool. However, when they got closer they became very friendly and were really into bowls and thought it was a groovy game and I was bit of a dude for playing it.
11P 04 XX.XX NS

In my dream I am in the car with my mum and dad going to a family party. I am sat at the end of the sofa and am not the centre of attention. I see someone else coming and think I'll go to the toilet, come back and they will sit where I was sitting and I will be able to sit on a wee chair in the middle of the room and hence, be heard. I was feeling ignored. Outside the room I bump into my teenage cousin and she asks me do I want any chocolate. I go into her room and she has transformed Grandma's spare room into something completely different - every bit of the room has been changed in every way in a kind of artistic manner. She has even used clever coloured cardboard cutouts stuck in places to change the shapes of things. I have my nice chocolate, admire and leave.
11P 19 XX.XX NS

I had a dream that something was wrong with the windscreen wipers on my car - they were too furry.
11P 54 XX.XX NS

Half asleep aware of deliciously happy dreams - about islands and ferrying children trying to explain the difficulties of my task to my partner, The children were also remedies which I was organising and differentiating between. Very busy, hectic dreaming feel tired.
13P 02 XX.XX NS

Tiring, long and vivid dream of being in class, back at school age 13 ish. Sitting at the back reading comics and being distracted by the "naughty" schoolgirls wearing make up etc. They were talking to me whilst I was trying to listen. Difficult to concentrate but didn't want to upset them or appear a swot. A projection appeared on the wall behind me and everybody turned around to look, suddenly I was at the front of the class, attention was on me. Shocked I ran away, through dark wooden corridors, an old school house. Realise I have nearly missed the launch (of the proving) which is also a huge home-made bolsa-wood and paper aeroplane. Which everyone from the group is sitting inside, ready for take off.I am meant to be there but I am late, as I turn to go feeling disappointed I notice there are people sitting around the room with clipboards taking notes. A man dressed in orange was watching me and commenting on my situation. He said something that made me aware of my self as a small part of a bigger operation, and in itself insignificant. Not to worry or feel responsible for getting things wrong that everything has its value and nothing goes un-noticed. My life seems tiny within this vast realm.
13P 17 XX.XX NS

Dream of riding my bicycle in New York carrying my white canvas bag I used for travelling medical supplies. It also had all my passport, tickets, money, etc.a laughing, scary black man took my bag as I rode past. It was so easy for him there was nothing I could do. Arrived at the apartment and found ex-boyfriend lying in bed. At some time I had lived there but was now only visiting. I saw a pile of old clothes and books of mine that were still there and recognised lots of things I had forgotten about. Notice that the room is otherwise empty and freshly repainted, looked like a hospital. I can't help him, the man in bed is in trouble. There are a few stairs in the inner corner of the room and I walk up them to escape and wake up. This deeply disturbed and confused me being a recollection of a scenario in my past and a former relationship. I feel guilty for revisiting these feelings, and wonder what is the meaning of this? A disturbing atmosphere hung around all day.
13P 21 XX.XX NS

Short dream that was very surreal, with plants chained to fences and people who were not what they seemed, friends who I have doubts about were showing their true colours, in my confusion I suddenly remembered that I had left my two year old alone in the house and I had to run home and see if she was alright. Woke up really frightened, alarmed.
13P 23 XX.XX NS

Hilarious dream with a serious note. I was in a small and dimly lit side room full of bunk beds like a school dorm but only small. Outside was bright daylight and festivities, a fairground atmosphere. I was here to give an account of myself to one of the course Supervisors, she was sitting tidily on the edge of one of the beds. I was standing up and full of impatience to get back to the party. I remember being encouraged to look at myself and she said "you're very excited aren't you " I agreed and did a tap dance to demonstrate. I was laughing, but knew that this was not very appropriate. There was no animosity between us and I was free to go.
13P 23 XX.XX NS

Dream of droves of people all going to mass, catholic ceremony to which I am not invited, nor do I want to go, this leaves me as an outsider not one of the family. Alone.
13P 29 XX.XX NS

Dream: I was in a party of people jouneying in an old fashioned way on horseback. We had stopped to look up a huge, deep, long V-shaped valley and were looking at a high waterfall as high as a tower block. Across the top of the waterfall, connecting the top two points of the V of the valley was a town. The town (the whole scene actually) looked like something out of Tolkien.
14P 02 XX.XX NS

Dream: something to do with a job that I was doing and being told I had go. I was searching for a new office in an old part derelict factory building complex. I have been to this place before in my dreams some months ago. I was not upset to be there but I couldn't find my way and seemed to explore aimlessly not knowing where to go. When I found the office it was cosy and homely.
14P 07 XX.XX NS

Dream: looking at house, to buy it man selling it was not really a man, he was pink and shaped like a piece of sweetcorn, only bigger, 5ft tall. On his forehead was a large, opaque, purple gemstone. In his garden an open fronted shed with a feeble irrigation system watering pots with no plants in - the plants had either died or never grown. There was no sun on them, I said "the trouble is it's too shady mate". In the shed I noticed a plastic shrink wrapped pack with 3 or 4 of his babies in it. I knew there was no female involved i.e. he is hermaphrodite. The babies were about 10 inches long same colour and shape overlapping each other. I saw their faces. Their shape (and his) seemed familiar, very like the fish scales shape in dream on day 1. It makes me think of prawns. Feelings of pity for him in the dream. Feelings of revulsion, he was shaped and pink like a big toe, his babies like soles of the feet.
15P 03 XX.XX NS

Dream: all my friends are sitting at a long table, they have fallen out with me because I have booked a holiday for my family rather than one with all of them. They either argue with me or refuse to speak to me. I feel hurt.
15P 11 XX.XX NS

Dream of being in love with the same person as before, this time I am cutting his hair.
15P 21 XX.XX NS

Felt drunk, Unsure, unsteady when walking, took great care where I put my foot down.
05P 01 19.00 NS

On waking I was part uncovered because I was very hot and sweating - the bed and night-clothes were very damp. The side of me that was uncovered was freezing cold. It was a really cold morning and the heating wasn't on. When I tried to move myself to cover up I realised that I was feeling very unbalanced - even lying down. Even moving a leg made the world turn frighteningly. I had to go to the loo so I got out of bed very slowly and carefully and realised I had bad vertigo. I had to move carefully - keeping hold of walls and things to keep in touch. Went back to bed for an hour and then tried to get up again for work, hoping it would pass off. The more I moved around the more intense the vertigo. It had got so bad that I thought I might be sick. I went back to bed but couldn't face lying down so I propped all the pillows up so I was half sitting. The more still I was, the less dizzy and less nausea I felt. After about 45mins managed to settle enough to fall asleep.
14P 10 06.00 NS

Vertigo all day and getting worse around lunchtime. Feel as if I'm slipping away to the left. Vague and clumsy. Heaviness in limbs.
14P 23 XX.XX NS

Head

Pressure back of head two sites, right and left, Occipital bone. Felt as if I should remove a weight, actually put my hand up to take the pressure off.
01P 01 20.00 NS

Headache developing, frontal sinuses, and pain / pressure at back of head. As if someone is squeezing at two very definite points. This starts to make me feel sick and by 2100 I have to go to bed, light make it worse, this may well be a migraine developing. Have had a migraine or severe headache once before, not used to getting headaches. If I do then rest an increasing fluid intake allows it to go. With the present headache I cannot force my self to drink, sitting up in bed does not help drain my sinuses, I have to lie down low on right side, notice that I am breathing deeply. Pain from head is very severe, even with eyes closed there seems to be flashing lights. Continue to feel sick and pain is making me scared, everything seems very black and I am not aware of me as a separate thing from the pain, just a mass of black pain in my head. My father used to get very, very severe headaches. He ended his life at age 30 as he could no longer cope with the pain. Analgesia and hospital admissions did not help him. I now understand how this must have been for him. I have had severe headache/ migraine once before, when my mother in law died, I had been looking after at home for six week following liver cancer. I was very close to her. I note that when I lie down I feel as if there is pressure on the back of my neck, I am very reluctant to move and any movement makes my nausea much worse. I think of getting out of bed to get some painkillers, but I feel I should not because this is probably the remedy working. I could not possibly think what remedy to take to help me but it hurst so much, I cant even move to get up. I fall asleep or pass out with the pain, it is just immense blackness.
01P 10 XX.XX NS

Headache like strong band round head lasted short time then went.
02P 01 20.00 NS

Headache like a band pressing on front of face over eye, came and went most of the day better in the evening.
02P 02 XX.XX NS

Woke with a really bad headache right across my head which made me feel sick.
03P 40 05.30 NS

Headache central moves to over left eye. Headache back over right eye in the evening.
04P 13 XX.XX NS

Migraine front right side of forehead and across base of neck. Constant debilitating pain.
05P 08 XX.XX NS

Woke at 7.30 migraine was still there but only at back of the neck on right side. It is hugely debilitating.
05P 09 07.30 NS

I couldn't stand all the pain so rang my supervisor and asked if I could antidote the proving. Migraine lifted.
05P 18 XX.XX NS

There was a feeling of pressure on my forehead, above the eyes, top part of the head, as if a weight was pressing on my skull.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

My head feels thick like a headache which I rarely get. The headache started behind my eyes and goes to the back of my head.
06P 05 XX.XX NS

I woke up and my head feels dull - almost a headache (unusual for me). The headache seemed to start behind my head, in the occiput area.
06P 25 XX.XX NS

Got stressed at work and ended up with a terrible headache. The whole head ached. The glands area must below both ears also felt tender.
06P 34 XX.XX NS

Woke up knowing that I had had a dream, but could not recall it because of a very bad headache on the top of my head & forehead - this is unusual because I can write down all of my dreams in the morning.
08P 02 XX.XX NS

Woke with another terrible headache across my forehead as if I had a hangover.
08P 03 XX.XX NS

Bad headache brought on by cold food and drink - like a band around the head. Worse for movement, better for lying down and worse for talking, touch. Came down over eyes.
11P 16 XX.XX NS

Drawing sensation in my head - occiput, temples and frontal tightness almost immediately.
12P 01 17.10 NS

Head pain frontal later pain up back neck, occiput. At one point pain at front concentrated over right eye extending to right temple and round to occiput. felt very cloudy generally. Pain continued especially frontal all across as tightness in forehead and tension pain in back neck up to base skull even after taking paracetamol. Rubbed base of skull several times which helped momentarily. Better eventually from eating. Late ringing supervisor because late back from day out to Bristol. Similar symptoms experienced in August when away on few days break but just before and during period then. Don't usually get headaches except just before period.
12P 02 XX.XX NS

Felt fuzzy headed, eye surrounds felt swollen, couldn't think straight. Occiput and forehead felt tight.
12P 03 XX.XX RS

Headache suddenly appeared after seeing a patient. Forehead, worse over left eye with slight tightness in throat. Steady pain and tightness. Felt shaky after a few minutes.
12P 07 11.25 NS

Headache developed so that by lunchtime it was identifiable as migraine type headache with some nausea and cloudiness, general malaise. Have had this before around beginning of period but not usually on day two. Slightly better for food. Shaking and dizzy by 7.00pm when returned home. Felt faint on rising from sitting several times during evening and thought I was going to pass out which is new. After eating dizziness much better. Paracetamol wore off by 8.30 but pain bearable and gradually improved over evening but still around and still feeling slightly shaky by bedtime. Would describe it as feeling slightly less solid than usual as in a bit ephemeral/light. A bit like having been weighted down all day and then the weights taken off suddenly.
12P 07 XX.XX NS

Headache still around this evening if anything slightly worse. Worse for sudden noises.
12P 08 XX.XX NS

Headache worse on right side forehead, getting worse briefly and then disappearing. Definite pain rather than ache and sometimes extending to right occiput.
12P 19 XX.XX NS

Yesterday's headache still there on waking - unusual for me. Worse on getting up and bending forward while I dressed.
12P 20 XX.XX NS

Headache right forehead above eye and in eye socket. Tight sickly pain like a slow pulse or a red strobe light if I close my eyes, with nausea. Also need to wee frequently.
13P 12 XX.XX NS

Sensation of thickening and heaviness of the bone through the forehead, bridge of nose and cheekbones. Head felt as though it was drawn down, forwards, and to the left.
14P 01 19.00 NS

Sensation in head spreading back to the top of my head. Like a cap
14P 01 19.30 NS

Slight ache around the right eye, extending around the right side and below into the cheekbone.

Also the heaviness across the brow ridge again, particularly in the centre of the forehead.
14P 03 XX.XX NS

Late afternoon to early evening my head ached. My eyes had a dull ache. The ache felt like pressure from outside. Like a mask that was covering the front top quarter of my head and was too tight. Particular pressure points at the side of my forehead level with my eyes.
14P 05 XX.XX NS

Progressively more aware of headache - getting quite sharp - particularly bad around the back of the back of the head in a band along the hairline from ear to ear. Glands behind my ears feel as though they should be enlarged but I don't think they are, they are just painful.
14P 10 10.00 NS

Pressure like thumb prints either side of my head again and centre of forehead between eyebrows.
14P 26 XX.XX NS

Pain in neck, at base of skull, in the muscle on left side, radiating up head and causing a slight headache.
15P 20 22.30 NS

Headache which lasted all day. Worse from loud noise, jar, going up and downstairs, movement of head esp. stooping (accompanying period - first period began like this.) Less period pain (day 1 usually quite painful).
15P 26 XX.XX OS

On going to bed very sharp shooting and throbbing pain at right temple, right next to my ear, lasted for about 5 minutes
15P 37 XX.XX NS

Sharp shooting pain by right temple as before, it is not so painful moves to beneath inner eyebrow of right eye, lasts a few minutes.
15P 39 13.00 NS

Have often had a heavy headache in front vertex, with occasional sharp vice like pains in both temples.
22P 27 XX.XX NS

Sight and eyes

My eyes sight is better than usual I can see without my glasses. (This lasted, total lack of need for glasses about three weeks.)
01P 01 23.00 NS

It looks as if there is a fine mist, or smoke over everything. I can actually read without my glasses but this mist covers everything.
01P 02 XX.XX NS

Styes on eyes, one on upper eyelid and one just below eyelid on the left eye. The area looked red and felt sore to touch.
03P 48 XX.XX NS

My vision seemed a little blurry and I couldn't read from the board.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

The left corner (white) of my right eye was very bloodshot. Something I had never had before.
06P 04 21.20 NS

My eyes still can't focus. I can't read from a distance. I don't usually have such a problem.
06P 08 XX.XX NS

I noticed over the past couple of days that the vision in my right eye, which has been bad all my life, I am very shortsighted, has become quite bad. My myopia had been more or less stagnating for approx. 6 years now, and this seems to be a drastic disimprovement compared to all that time. There is now a big difference between the vision of my left and right eye!
06P 08 XX.XX IOS

When looking at the ceiling had a distortion of vision in a small area - it looked as if it was shimmering, when I looked away it had disappeared.
08P 05 XX.XX NS

Itchy eyes in the morning - very prickly. Much worse for touch - I shouldn't touch them.
11P 26 XX.XX NS

Whites of eyes look slightly yellowish and blood shot - noticed after dressing. Eyes feel tired and stiff. Whites clear by mid morning.
12P 07 XX.XX NS

Eyes both very itchy. In the corner intense prickling itch. Feels better rubbing them but only for a moment. Yellow strings of sticky mucus appear after rubbing.
13P 07 XX.XX NS

Eyes suddenly madly itchy prickling in the corners crusty and sore.
13P 21 22.00 NS

Itchy eyes, around rim of eyelids. Red and soreness made much worse by scratching, but brings some relief from itching.
13P 52 XX.XX NS

As soon as I closed my eyes I could see bright purple shapes swimming in and out of vision. Oval shapes a shoal of fish.
14P 01 18.30 NS

On trying to sleep feeling as if left eye was open, had to keep opening it make sure it was shut.
15P 01 21.30 NS

The thing with my eyes has completely gone now and now I realise what it was; it felt as though I was very conscious of the holes in my head, I was aware of being able to see through my eyes, now I can see without it seeming weird.
15P 47 XX.XX NS

Twitch, left eyebrow, every few minutes (after confrontational phone conversation) I used to get a twitch in my eyelid (left or right when tired/ stressed) lasted all night, stopped by pressing with finger.
15P 48 18.00 NS

Eyelids itchy and sore feels like eczema. worse on the right. Eyeballs also red and sore much worse on right.
22P 02 XX.XX NS

Hearing & Ears

Left ear feels blocked and slight pain lasts five minutes changes to right side lasts two min, pressure now at back of head. Studying at the time. Ears popping.
01P 06 XX.XX NS

My senses seem very acute tonight, the loud noise next to me was almost unbearable in the Cinema as someone was unwrapping sweet papers.
06P 22 21.00 NS

A sharp sudden pain inside right ear, slow beating with headache on that side. Started immediately after a distressing phone call from my brother.
13P 05 XX.XX NS

Right ear all blocked with wax, sticky glue like. Uncomfortable but better after a hot steamy bath.
13P 06 XX.XX NS

Right ear blocked still and now painful mostly when swallowing, yawning and very bad burping. Feels pressured inside wants to pop but air moves up and outwards causing pain from neck/throat to inner ear, without popping. Sharp sickening pain.
13P 07 XX.XX NS

Right ear ringing so loud I can't hear the TV. The whole right side of head feels numb and a toothache deep in root of upper right canine tooth, which is capped. An old abscess feeling fizzy, festering, not painful but nervy, shooting pain up into nose from any pressure to face, very sensitive to touch.
13P 12 XX.XX NS

Hot burning pain in left ear lobe. Suddenly appeared for a few minutes intense throbbing and then faded away.
13P 22 XX.XX NS

Hearing still not much good somehow things are both muffled and sharper. Loud noise feels painful and intense. Mainly the left ear.
14P 00 XX.XX NS

Ears feeling very blocked. Adding to the sense of being separate from the world. Sensation of pressure in the ears as though plugged. Sound slightly muffled.
14P 03 XX.XX NS

Hearing feels bad again today. Whooshing noise in my ears constantly. Adds to the continuing feeling of being immersed in something thick and hard to move through. Worse in right ear.
14P 06 XX.XX NS

Hearing still not right but a bit worse in the left ear to day. Left ear slightly aching. Feeling of pressure like a plug in the ear.
14P 07 XX.XX NS

Pain in the ears now, mainly in the left but earlier on the right. Deep pain. Quite sharp Not like the pressure ache before, it is deeper and more a waxing and waning needle pain, like a knitting needle.
14P 10 XX.XX NS

Aware again of ache in ears and feeling of not being able to hear normally. Everything seems clear and normal in a sense but distant as if being separated in a bubble.
14P 20 XX.XX NS

Noticed left ear feeling sticky inside, sticky noise on opening jaw continued.
15P 06 XX.XX NS

Exposed to cold north wind without my hat, earache after returning home to the warm. Lasted all evening, getting worse around 18.00 then a bit better at 21.00 but worse after a phone call (too loud). Ears especially left very sensitive to noise, noises reverberate and buzz. Woke several times in the night with pain in my left ear.
15P 53 XX.XX OS

Smell & Nose

Muscles relaxed, nasal passages very clear as if I had taken a decongestant.
01P 01 19.00 NS

Burnt smell back on hands, even after swimming in the pool and trying to wash it away, it did not go.
01P 03 XX.XX NS

Awoke with stuffed nose, feels like I have sniffed pepper. Throat bilaterally sore and voice slightly altered as it used to be when I had tonsillitis as a child. I may be getting a cold, have not had one for years.
01P 09 07.00 NS

On the way home about senses seem very acute. Noticed a smell of burning much faster than other person in car with me. A good 5 minutes later we passed smoke on the road. Not sure how I managed to smell this from such a distance.
02P 01 19.00 NS

Overwhelmed by the smell of Misha's pen in class, really didn't like it - don't normally notice this.
03P 02 XX.XX NS

During the day I was still aware of heightened senses, especially smells.
06P 03 XX.XX NS

Noticed damp smell coming in through open window, thought of mushrooms, had image of magic mushroom.
10P 01 18.20 NS

Noticed smell of bonfire smoke as we left the house. Noticed smell of smoke again, friend had lit cigarette. Noticed smells as we walked into village.
10P 01 19.00 NS

Nose itching, running, sniffing, blowing nose a little, some sneezing or desire to. Clear discharge but not profuse and swelling inside so a bit stuffed up. Feels like allergic rhinitis which I used to get frequently but recently get only once or twice a year.
12P 10 17.30 IOS

Nose sore, sneezing, some clear discharge. Better as day wore on. Feels as tho a cold is coming and have had to blow nose. In morning voice quite nasal as though nose blocked.
12P 30 XX.XX NS

Notice a strange smell everybody seems to have it, strong like garlic but sweet and sticky, heavy smell lingers.
13P 02 XX.XX NS

Nose bleed, painless, mostly right side. Bright red blood quickly clots and stops.
13P 28 XX.XX NS

Face

People told me I looked weird - my eyes looked funny, really big with dilated pupils. It was as if there was something between me and the mirror that made me distorted. I felt that I looked strange when I looked in the mirror; I looked wretched, as if I hadn't slept much. My features were not smooth, they looked hard.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

An increasing feeling of ache in the muscles of the left side of my face. Now there seems to be neuralgia in the left upper and lower teeth.
11P 10 XX.XX NS

Top lip feels a little stiff and swollen and more red than usual. Tingling slightly.
12P 10 XX.XX NS

Lips are sore and cracks appearing in middle lower lip are stinging, keeping me awake.
13P 28 XX.XX NS

Bottom lip swollen and cracked. Three lines in the middle, sore and raw, skin peeling from lower lip. Stinging pain, worse touching, better ice cold drinks.
13P 31 XX.XX NS

Muscle twitch in top lip just left of centre that was very small but constantly ticking.
14P 23 20.00 NS

I have a lump in my mouth at the bottom left behind the canine tooth in the jaw bone. My dentist assured me it was not a tooth 2 years ago. I have had this for 14 years but it is now sore and more pronounced. If I look at it I can see white and now it is sharp, just like a tooth coming through (I have had a lot of orthodontic treatment and about 12 teeth removed). Whatever it is (and I think it is a tooth) it is closer to the surface.
15P 11 XX.XX RS

Right, upper gum between first premolar and first molar feels spongy and swollen, it is in fact swollen up so that the gum line between these two teeth comes much lower than the rest of my gum. It is not very sore or red but feels like I have a piece of peach skin stuck between my
15P 14 XX.XX NS

Woke in the night because mouth seemed very dry, tongue pressing against tooth, upper right first molar, which seemed sharp, pain was stinging.
15P 18 XX.XX NS

This same tooth seems to have cut my tongue, pain like paper cut where tongue touches this tooth.
15P 19 XX.XX NS

Tongue still sore, always worst in the morning, as if my tongue has been swollen during sleep. Looks a bit red and swollen where it touches first molar.
15P 21 XX.XX NS

Taste and Tongue

Thought does this taste bitter, or maybe as if having licked a battery. Tongue started to faintly feel numb, first on tip and then extending down to the larynx.
01P 01 XX.XX NS

Noticed pain end of tongue, remembered had an old spot, tip of tongue, right of septum, this was the same. Bluish tinge on both side of end of tongue. Desire to bite but it makes it more painful. Feels as if a splinter.
01P 04 XX.XX NS

Pain on my tongue like a paper cut, just left of centre and halfway down my tongue.
15P 04 14.30 OS

Inner Mouth

Increased saliva suddenly mouth full of frothy soapy taste. Glands in neck and jaw "squirting" saliva for a couple of minutes.
13P 01 XX.XX NS

Gums are hot, dry and sore, but mouth is full of saliva, feel burned. Blue bruises at roots of teeth, abscess? Whole mouth feels fuzzy, rough, like sandpaper.
13P 31 XX.XX NS

Noticed sore patch behind two top front teeth, as if cut or burnt.
15P 09 XX.XX OS

Sore, burnt pain behind two top front teeth (have had this already since proving) better by 16.00 (by the way I did not eat a hot lunch or anything hot all day).
15P 27 XX.XX OS

Bruised pain in roof of mouth as before but slightly further back.
15P 33 XX.XX NS

Lost my voice for a few minutes. Roof of mouth feels more ridged than usual, like the inside of your cheek feels after eating boiled sweets.
15P 35 XX.XX NS

Throat

Really severe tickle in the centre of the back of my throat, had to drink water to alleviate it, bothered me off and on all afternoon.
03P 03 12.30 NS

Woke with a raging sore throat, needed to drink cold water, throat felt burning, lots of mucous, felt generally hot and unwell. I looked at the back of my throat and it was red and sore looking. I just wanted to sleep so did until 10.30am. felt really unwell - hot, throat sore, tired, all day, did not want to talk, just wanted to lie on my stomach in front of the fire in the lounge all evening.
03P 46 XX.XX NS

I've still got a lot of phlegm in my throat especially in the mornings. It's thick white and tastes slightly salty.
06P 05 XX.XX NS

The right side of my throat/ear area was sore in the morning. It was as if some gland was swollen and enlarged. It was a constant ache. I put a scarf around my throat when I slept and next morning it was gone.
06P 09 XX.XX NS

In the morning I woke with a sore throat - it feels as if I have a lump in the left side of my throat which hurts most when I swallow. Also, a stitching pain when I swallow - extending into my left jaw - a very swollen feeling like a ball.
11P 44 XX.XX NS

Throat slightly sore, raw feeling at back, worse breathing in deeply.
12P 19 XX.XX NS

Sore throat has been hanging round and coming or going for several days. Last night hawked up large lump of yellow, jelly like mucous and felt much better for a while. Nose blocked and had to be blown a bit this am and felt generally as though cold developing, sneezing on and off. More sneezing this evening and coughed again, throat sore again. Several people remarked today that I sounded as tho I had a cold. Nose feels slightly sore and irritated, sensitive inside as tho working up to a sneeze.
12P 29 XX.XX NS

Whilst driving I can't eat , feel I should, but refuse food, want to eat but can't. Try putting food in my mouth but retch. Throat feels choked.
13P 02 XX.XX NS

Very sore throat, worse for talking, perhaps as a result of going in and out in the late evening from very warm to freezing temperatures.
15P 32 22.30 NS

Feeling worse now, have to whisper in order to talk, otherwise it's too painful. Better for heat, lying down and barely moving, ear better when I lie on it, have wrapped a scarf around my
15P 33 XX.XX NS

Tonsillitis, worse on right side, tonsils inflamed and on right side discharging white pus. It feels like there's sharp bits in my throat like crumbs especially on the right side.
15P 33 XX.XX NS

Tonsilitis has moved to left side now, ears more sensitive especially the left one, slightly raised temperature, I feel very cold. Emotionally feel - oh well, perhaps everything's not as good as I thought it was.
15P 33 XX.XX NS

Still have uncomfortable throat and cough from irritation in throat
15P 40 XX.XX NS

Appetite, Thirst & Desires

Ate cereal for breakfast as I know I need sustenance, no real desire for food.
01P 04 XX.XX NS

Aware of pressure over the Adrenal glands, realise no thirst but have drunk very little water the last few days. Remind my self to drink more but still forget.
01P 04 XX.XX NS

Aware that I am completely thirtsless and am drinking very little water when I normally make a point to drink plenty. I have to make my self drink even though I am not thirsty.
01P 10 XX.XX NS

No desire for food - seems unnecessary, energy available from other sources.
02P 04 XX.XX NS

Headache, nausea have come back. Drinking lucozade and tomato soup - comfort foods from child hood.
02P 04 XX.XX NS

All food seems too rich, feel full with only few mouthfuls, but very hungry. Can't eat fat of any sort - feel sick immediately. Strong desire for hot sweet drinks and fizzy drinks.
02P 08 XX.XX NS

Had to drink water as throat very dry. noticed that when I took a sip of water the first mouthful made me inhale sharply.
03P 24 XX.XX NS

Ate 2 boiled eggs and toast as I was enornmously hungry. Afterwards my stomach felt grossly huge and heavy. Felt as if I was blown up with air but felt soft/squidgy to the touch. The pressure was upwards and outwards. Tried to burp but didn't feel any better. Drank some warm water and passed a stool. Felt a bit better when I walked. Definitely better sitting up in bed. Felt even better with a hot water bottle in the small of my back and finally fell asleep.
05P 08 XX.XX NS

I woke up suddenly feeling very empty, ravenous. I had to have something to eat. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep if I didn't eat something (anything would do). I felt much better after eating and then I went back to bed and fell asleep.
06P 05 XX.XX NS

I felt an enormous empty feeling in my stomach. I didn't want to get up but eventually I was driven out of bed by the hunger. I had some soup to fill me up. Went back to sleep immediately.
06P 49 XX.XX NS

Made myself a hot chocolate before bed, but couldn't drink it because it was too sweet - usually love chocolate and anything very sweet.
08P 05 XX.XX NS

Haven't fancied any chocolate at all, but enjoying savoury foods.
08P 06 XX.XX NS

Very tempted to start smoking again, come close to grabbing a cigarette out of someone's hand.
09P 14 XX.XX NS

Thirsty but the buffet is closed would have liked a cold cider, haven't had cider for years.
13P 01 XX.XX NS

Stomach feels suddenly desperate for food. Leave the lecture and eat an apple (had to be something raw) feels better for sitting up straight.
13P 02 10.45 NS

Not hungry but feel I should eat. Mostly salad, a struggle to finish small plateful .Cooked food seems too heavy.
13P 02 13.30 NS

Thirsty for water get up and immediately want a cigarette, want cold water and burning fags

alternately. Never usually have this urge to get up and smoke at night
13P 02 XX.XX NS

Partner remarked I haven't eaten any chocolate for days. Realise have lost craving for chocolate usually feel in evening.
13P 03 XX.XX NS

No appetite, no desire to eat but know I am hungry? When I do cook food I have burned everything, not really interested or concentrating. Only doing it to feed family.
13P 07 XX.XX NS

Suddenly feeling sick. Mouth full of saliva the smell of food cooking is unbearable, even walking past a bakery, makes me retch. Realise I haven't eaten at all today.
13P 14 XX.XX NS

Forgot to eat anything most of today. When I tried to eat I physically could not. Don't want food in my mouth, can't swallow it.
13P 17 XX.XX NS

The lack of appetite has also been significant and I have lost 10lb over the course of the proving. It may possibly have been more, but when I have eaten it has been fast food because I have had no interest in preparing or taking care over what I have eaten. I have probably not eaten so badly ever. I have, most days, only eaten one meal of rubbish. I have not been able to eat a normal size meal so on the days that I have felt hungrier I have snacked on odd bits and pieces but bread has felt too heavy, as has pasta, rice and potatoes. I have also not had an interest in sweet things which I can normally not resist.
14P 00 XX.XX NS

Lack of appetite all evening but decided that I should eat. Definitely wanted nothing rich or creamy or greasy. Not sure about having anything cold either. Had mushroom soup because it was small. Taste intense. Felt calmer and back to normal after eating - except for the hot
14P 01 XX.XX NS

Had dinner but again, though I enjoyed it I was not hungry before eating.
14P 02 21.00 NS

Very thirsty again today. Thirsty I thought for water (unusually) but the water seemed to make me feel thirstier. It was bottled water but tasted dusty or chalky so I switched to orange juice but it was cloying and intensely sickly. Tried to eat but really not hungry.
14P 05 XX.XX NS

Drinking very weak ginger beer shandy. Also bought some crystallized ginger.
22P 14 XX.XX NS

Appetite strange. Sometimes not eating at all and then eating ravenously.
22P 18 XX.XX NS

Have noticed that my susceptibility to alcohol has increased several fold. Last night I had two cans of beer and immediately passed out. A single can or a couple of glasses of wine wipes me right out.
22P 57 XX.XX NS

Hiccough, Belching, Nausea & Vomiting

Ate a boiled sweet. Intense nausea from the sweetness for about an hour.
14P 03 10.35 NS

Ate a cheese salad roll and Danish pastry. Felt overful and nauseous. Head swimming a little.
14P 24 XX.XX NS

Scrobiculum & Stomach

Late afternoon and evening, stomach disorder - wind in both directions, squeezing, sensation very acute, better for cold food, sweet food and hot drinks with sugar.
02P 02 XX.XX NS

I felt jittery again, as if I had butterflies in my stomach. This was accompanied by trembling palpitations, but no pain.
06P 12 XX.XX NS

Terrible heartburn from drinking wine. On the other hand my usual heartburn on going to bed has gone. I was only able to sleep on left side and even that was painful. since the remedy have been able to sleep on right, front and back as well and more comfortable on right.
22P 16 XX.XX NS

Abdomen

Start to feel sick, and bowels feels loose, and churning. Abdomen distended, developed within about 5 min/or faint could not tell difference unable to stop, motion of car over country roads makes sickness more severe.
01P 02 23.00 NS

Feelings of pulsations in the abdomen, this may in fact be in the wall of the abdominal muscles. I can liken it the times when I was pregnant and I could feel the foetus moving around in side.
01P 43 XX.XX NS

Pain in stomach, only relieved temporarily by belching. Considerable flatus. Explosive diarrhoea, alternating day by day with feeling of constipation. Heartburn when not eating.
02P 08 XX.XX NS

A strong ache in the lower abdomen with feelings of bloatedness and very windy. My stools are a little loose but I always feel better after a visit to the toilet.
06P 11 XX.XX NS

While lying in bed, my belly was making a noise like a frog (croak, croak, croak, croak.)
10P 02 08.30 NS

Pain like trapped wind under low ribs, right side, while watching case, better pressure of fist.
10P 02 13.00 NS

Just got home, had abdominal pain like trapped wind when I squatted down and bent over. Throughout evening had more trapped wind which moved about. Farted quite a lot. Was feeling quite windy and farty all day. I was burpy yesterday evening but it is quite normal for me to burp and fart, though I don't often get trapped wind.
10P 02 XX.XX NS

Sharp stabbing pain in solar plexus, only for a moment, made me clutch at it.
10P 33 XX.XX NS

Strong cutting pain below ribs in epigastrum came on when I stood up after sitting leaning over my deask. Better for stretching and standing up. Want to lean on something bending forwards till I can breathe more easily, realise I haven't eaten all day. Hungry, eat a salad sandwich.
13P 04 15.45 NS

Pain under ribs in centre of epigastrum. Strong sharp pain, knotted feeling like a hard lump. Can't speak or breathe easily, walking only possible doubled over - fades more slowly than it arrives, unbearable whilst it lasts. Takes an hour to unknot.
13P 31 16.00 NS

Abdominal cramp, from left to right under the diaphragm. Felt the need to stretch out. Continued until I went to bed.
14P 00 20.30 OS

Woke with terrible abdominal cramps. Flatus followed by normal stool and then by explosive diarrhoea.
22P 04 04.00 NS

Twice more have been woken at 4-5 a.m. with abdominal cramps and then had diarrhoea. Also diarrhoea almost continuously. Yellow and offensive.
22P 18 XX.XX NS

Rectum & Stool

Arrived home and bowels explode, non-formed stool more like normal colour, no offensive odour.
01P 02 23.00 NS

Some constipation today, noted that in the last couple of days I have had a bleeding pile, possible small rectal fissure. Blood bright red and fresh, have not strained. Worse for pressure of sitting.
01P 44 XX.XX NS

One-off copious diarrhoea with slight burning anus preceded by stomach cramp, and little time for action.
04P 03 11.00 NS

I had to visit the toilet at least eight times today. Stomach griping. Very dark brown nasty smelling stools. Feel better instantly afterwards, two hour cycle till urge to empty again.
13P 19 XX.XX NS

Urinary Organs

Woke up. Need to go to loo approx 3 am, had lower back pain and pulsating over lower abdomen around ovary area.
01P 02 03.00 NS

Since the night of the remedy, feel as if I have a slight vaginal irritation, so mild almost not worth commenting on. Notice it when I pass urine and mainly in the morning. No signs of urinary tract infection, urine only concentrated on first morning passing.
01P 11 XX.XX NS

At 5 a.m. I was woken up with a strong continuous ache in the bladder.
06P 03 05.00 NS

I have a strong dull ache in the bladder area. with a downward movement feel to it.
06P 14 XX.XX NS

Burning at end of urination, pass a few more drops, the fewer drops I pass the more it burns and stings. Hurts afterwards better for pressing vulva with hand and for rubbing lower abdomen (around top of bladder) lasted half an hour or so (very short).
15P 07 19.30 OS

Cystitis, burning and stinging at end of and after urination better by 10.00.
15P 30 XX.XX OS

Cystitis, burning at end of urination, lasted for a few minutes, then returned at 20.30 on urination, very mild though.
15P 41 19.30 OS

Male Sexual Organs

Sharp pain in the tip of the penis. Last inch of urethra a little worse for urination but there at other times as well.
22P 21 XX.XX NS

Female Sexual Organs

Cramp like pains, as if labour last few mins. only over the next few days have various minor twinges like labour pain or dysmen. This surprises me as I don't have the organs to feel this with.
01P 06 XX.XX NS

Started my period with a lot less discomfort beforehand than normal - usually get sore breasts but since the proving started this has not been the case.
03P 54 XX.XX NS

During the morning I realised I has started my period. It had only been two weeks since the start of my last period. I had become irregular with my bleeding but usually it was anything between 23 days to five weeks. Never before after two weeks. The blood was dark and normal flowing for me accompanied with a strong dull ache in the lower uterine area and a slight downwards pull. I felt unusually cheerful.
06P 05 XX.XX NS

Second day of period - heavier than usual - tampon didn't last the night and it usually does.
10P 15 XX.XX NS

Spotting three days earlier than I would expect it - normally Monday for Thursday start of period.
12P 03 XX.XX NS

Period began 3 days early. It does occasionally do this but hasn't for at least 6 months I think.
12P 06 XX.XX NS

Itching, vulva, left labium for about 30 mins. Common symptom but never during period. Thought I was developing thrush possibly but came to nothing.
12P 09 XX.XX AS

Period began with no pain, strong flow of bright red bringing great relief and happiness to my life. Have been waiting for three weeks and was quietly worried I may be pregnant.
13P 02 XX.XX NS

Period starts about 5 days early on 25th day of cycle. Starts more quickly than normal. First show with clots but browny red usually very black/red..
14P 23 XX.XX NS

Got my period, breasts have been less sore, thought I had a few days to go before I got it (breasts usually get increasingly tender and painful before period).
15P 25 XX.XX NS

Realised that my period has been less painful, lighter in flow and seems to be ending (which is very short for me - only day 4) breasts not sore or lumpy at all.
15P 27 XX.XX AS

After finding out what the remedy was I felt I should add a symptom I left out (although I don't really know why I did) around day 38 I had a very sore vagina, on the edge by the perineum, I remarked to my boyfriend that it was the same thing I had when we were first together and were having loads of sex! it was sore enough to put me off sex for a few days although we had hardly been at it like rabbits!
15P 38 XX.XX NS

Voice & Larynx, Trachea & Bronchia

Respiration

It was difficult breathing, as if the air did not have enough oxygen.
06P 01 19.00 NS

I was quite breathless from walking up the stairs. I haven't noticed this before. Am I becoming so unfit? Felt as if I was gasping for air.
06P 21 XX.XX NS

When walking up to the B&B had a constriction in my chest which made my breathing feel laboured as if I was walking at high altitude, couldn't take enough oxygen in.
08P 01 XX.XX NS

My asthma, which has not been a problem for a long while is very bad again - noticeably worse 5pm and 5am.
11P 30 XX.XX OS

Going to bed, felt calm but the heart and tightness in the chest was still there as I lay down. It was heard to breathe slowly and in a controlled way.
14P 01 22.30 NS

Pressure in chest with difficulty breathing - palpitations with.
14P 30 XX.XX NS

Cough

Increasing mucus in left nostril, cough, productive of small amount white sputum.
02P 02 XX.XX NS

Cough very strong, sore throat left side increasing in intensity.
02P 03 10.30 NS

When I lay down to go to sleep I started coughing, dry, hard, with sore, irritated patch on chest causing it. Kept half waking to cough for a while.
12P 29 XX.XX NS

Coughing fit wakes me, terrible tickling in throat, cough in 2 paroxysms, try drinking water but have to get up to eat some cereal (for the milk) which eventually stops it and I go back to bed.
15P 43 02.30 NS

Inner Chest & Lungs

Oppressive feeling in sternum - sensation was tight and painful with a sinking sensation.
11P 01 18.00 NS

Heart, Pulse & Circulation

Sensation that the bed was shaking, and a desire to put on the light. When I turned on the light I realised that it was my heart racing that was shaking me. Lasted a few minutes then went back to sleep.
03P 04 01.00 NS

The jittery restlessness with palpitations returned for a short time in the afternoon.
06P 06 XX.XX NS

Heavy thumping bangs of the heart that take my breath away. Lasts just a few second each time but recurring every several minutes for about two hours.
14P 07 13.00 NS

Outer Chest

Very fine rash, slightly irritating appeared over upper Thorax, shaped as if I was wearing a bib. Gone in the morning.
01P 06 23.00 NS

Felt a heaviness on my sternum, as if an elephant was sitting there.
05P 08 XX.XX NS

A slight pain under my left breast started a couple of months ago but then stopped. Today it started again but it seems to be moving to my left side. It was a strong continuous ache.
06P 09 XX.XX IOS

I can't stand the stabbing pain on my left side, which is getting worse. I've started taking a herbal tincture for this problem.
06P 43 XX.XX NS

Tight feeling up the middle of my chest, felt a bit claustrophobic and panicky. (Reminded me of the constrictive feeling in the chest I have experienced after taking LSD.)
10P 01 18.30 NS

Hot sensation in a spot approx 3 inches diameter, high up on my chest (around top of sternum), external (ie. on skin).
10P 01 18.40 NS

Noticed rash in L armpit - pink, lumpy blotces. Bit sensitive to touch. Had this before but it seems bigger this time.
10P 03 XX.XX AS

Sensation of blood pulsating, throbbing, between side of neck and clavicle, right side, lasted few seconds.
10P 03 14.00 NS

I had a sensation like a pulsating, twitching vein in my left side approx. level with the bottom of my ribs. It lasted a second or two each time.
10P 09 XX.XX NS

Neck & Back

At work, only for a few hours, muscle under right scapula goes in to spasm. Knot like sensation, so painful feel difficulty in breathing, in able to move. Have to get someone to rub area to relieve tension.
01P 17 XX.XX NS

Very sore lumbar back, worse for sitting in a chair. Aching all around the lumbar area, wanted to lie down or stretch it out.
03P 28 XX.XX NS

Lower middle back felt very weak, as if it wouldn't support me. I feel exhausted.
05P 11 XX.XX NS

My neck feels very stiff, especially at the back, it hurts constantly and lasts all day.
05P 19 XX.XX NS

Itching and unsightly rash around front of neck. Like rings or chokers.
05P 30 XX.XX NS

Low back ache, low part of spine above coccyx (sacrum?). Feels heavy, sort of dragging down. Worse leaning forward especially if standing or squatting - it was very difficult putting on trousers and pants. Better during & after hot bath; better rubbing. Spent 3 hours cleaning and back was OK, then sat down for a hour on the sofa while I had lunch (13-14:00) and could hardly get up afterwards. Better moving about. Not so bad sitting on an upright chair this afternoon. Yesterday I was humping big bags of sand around. My back is a weak point but its usually higher up.
10P 04 XX.XX NS

I have back ache, pain in my left hip and down my back to halfway in my right thigh.
11P 25 XX.XX NS

Backache small of back while sitting at desk, not better for movement which went c 16.30.
12P 06 15.00 NS

Dull ache in lower back muscular bruised mild pain like a clamp in back and pelvis.
13P 01 21.00 NS

Left side of neck, suddenly very itchy after eating, red heat rash from left ear to clavicle, sensation of overheating.
13P 12 XX.XX NS

Whole neck feels stiff as if in a big collar, a funny sedated feeling. I wonder if I can move - not worried - pleasant shivery sensation like when hairs stand up on end, from spine to extremities feel half asleep, nerves buzzing.
13P 22 21.00 NS

Noticed enlarged lymph gland on my neck, left, beneath skull is larger than normal.
15P 22 XX.XX OS

Woke with a bad back, right side, centre of back, feels strained. Better by 14.00.
15P 24 XX.XX NS

Upper Limbs

Skin irritation about the size of a 50p piece, lateral aspect of elbow. Itches.
01P 04 XX.XX NS

Felt as if my right wrist was about to dislocate. Relieved and stopped sensation when I wiggled it around, following a cracking noise. Don't recollect hurting it before.
01P 09 XX.XX NS

Shoulder did the dislocating feeling today, very brief relived on movement , but noted as same as wrist.
01P 11 XX.XX NS

Lymph nodes on the left arm on theTriceps Brachi, and distal of the medial epicondyle. This is an unusual place to feel enlarged lymph glands, there are two and they are tender o touch. Not always prominent but if pressure is put on them from touch or leaning then I can notice it.
01P 44 XX.XX NS

Nerve pain down from elbow on top of forearm, worse for moving my arm. Lasted about 10 minutes.
03P 12 XX.XX NS

The ends of my fingers and thumbs went numb. There was no feeling in them. When I looked at them they were very smooth with no finger prints on them.
06P 01 19.00 NS

I felt a pain in the bottom of my left thumb joint. It only lasted a few minutes, but it came back twice later in the night
06P 01 XX.XX NS

I've developed a pain in the top joint of my middle finger on the right hand.
06P 05 XX.XX NS

The rash on the knuckles of my right hand is very itchy. I have to scratch it all the time. I had noticed it more over the last week, but it became really unbearable today.
06P 29 XX.XX IOS

I was woken up in the middle of the night with pins and needles in my fingers. I remember it had happened a couple of times in the last few weeks, but I didn't think anything of it because I thought I must have been sleeping on my hands which I do and I'd cut off the circulation. I moved my fingers a few times and fell back to sleep. My fingers were swollen when I first
06P 38 XX.XX NS

I was woken up several times with pins and needles in my fingers. I have to keep my arms and fingers under the quilt because the cold air brings on the problem.
06P 47 06.00 NS

I was woken up with pins and needles in my finger a couple of times. I can't relax because I'm scared the pins and needles will return. It was a bad night's sleep. I woke up with swollen fingers again and my lower arms were aching.
06P 48 XX.XX NS

Sore, bruised feeling on inside of right elbow, pink discolouration. As though I've banged it but I don't remember doing it.
10P 03 XX.XX NS

Sticking pain, coming and going, on inside of both wrists, like a thick knitting needle or a stick.
10P 28 XX.XX NS

Sore on right thumb like a splinter but doesn't seem to be one there and can't think how it could have got there. Very painful.
22P 21 XX.XX NS

Feel sharp stabbing pain, as if needle, right upper outer quadrant of right leg. (Site where Intramuscular injection would have been given, analgesia). Followed by needle prick in both groins. Then over both kidneys, lasted for about 40 seconds.
01P 01 19.30 NS

Left hip has dislocated feeling, I find difficulty in walking, it makes me limp, to put pressure on is difficult it makes me stop and catch my breath, one min. it is gone the next it appears briefly, has happened three times within the last few days so brief forgot to mention.
01P 12 XX.XX NS

Left big toe, joint area v. painful on anterior side. Aware over the last few weeks that I may have arthritis beginning in this joint. It seems less flexible, at time slightly inflamed and skin area red. At this time just sharp stabbing pain in the joint. Lasting only a brief while. But it repeats itself every now and then over the coming days.
01P 21 XX.XX NS

My left knee feels very weak and is much worse for bending and especially for being knelt on.
11P 42 XX.XX NS

Left leg and knee - slight pain while walking which I hardly noticed but remembered when I was sitting in bed and it came back - running up my thigh from my knee where it was centred, and down to my ankle. On the inside back ending in the right side of the heel. Tingling, cold pain but almost burning. Moved to front of thigh briefly and had gone by 24.00 when I went to sleep.
12P 17 23.30 NS

Simultaneously nerve pain from left hip drawing down left leg better for pulling shoulders back and sitting up straight.
13P 01 XX.XX NS

Right hip feels "wrong" and painful to stand on or put any weight on. Twisted feeling in muscles. Prevents me from going upstairs quickly or often which I do too much of. Feel this is a signal I need to sit still and conserve energy. Everyday it seems to be more bad news.
13P 52 XX.XX NS

Seem to have twisted the big toe on my right foot somehow. Sudden very sharp pain as if the joint was dislocated. I don't think there is anything wrong with it but unable to walk and really painful even in bed.
14P 14 XX.XX NS

Sharp, shooting, stabbing pain in my left hand at base of index finger which made me gasp in pain for a second, lasted five minutes, gradually wearing off.
15P 30 XX.XX NS

Sudden pain in my ankle on getting out of bed, left ankle, as if sprained, very painful to walk on, lasted 10 minutes then just suddenly went.
15P 32 XX.XX NS

Very sore and tender soles of feet, from lack of sleep. Feet very sore again, have hot bath which relieves and later a foot massage which helps a lot.
15P 43 XX.XX OS

Over the proving I have noticed that the very hard skin around the edge of my heel have softened and the fissures, which I have had for more than ten years and which can be several millimetres deep and painful, have healed completely.
22P 00 XX.XX CS

Fingernails

All my nails seem to have broken or cracked on my hands, normally they are quite, soft and bendable. I cut my toenails this week, and had my haircut. Only cut hair twice this year and toenails don't need cutting often.
01P 44 XX.XX NS

Finger nails stronger (since Falco proving they had been splitting easily)
21P 00 XX.XX NS

Sleep

Feel as if I could go to sleep whilst working with patients, if I just let myself go I would be in a deep sleep. Eye lids are so heavy, have to rub them to stay awake.
01P 04 14.00 NS

Wake up am completely stretched out as if been on a rack, body completely in line.
01P 04 XX.XX NS

Do not sleep well again, awoke at 0110 cannot sleep thoughts racing around my time about my future and how I am going to manage.
01P 13 XX.XX NS

Unable to settle to sleep, very restless, mind too active. Tremendous feeling of control, serenity. Very aware of small noises, senses feel stretched.
02P 01 XX.XX NS

Night could not sleep - got up took large glass of wine and went to sleep immediately on return to bed.
02P 02 XX.XX NS

Wide awake for much longer than usual after work - didn't feel tired or in need of sleep.
02P 04 XX.XX NS

Woke very early and felt that I didn't need any more sleep. Had ten-minute nap at about 5pm, and then worked all evening.
02P 05 XX.XX NS

Woke up (half asleep) in the night with a feeling that I should have my body in a curling motion like a snake when I turned over in bed. Actually moved in a writhing way to create this absentmindedly.
03P 12 06.00 NS

Difficulty getting to sleep, fear that I might not wake, needed to get in 'open' sleeping position to relax and feel able to breath all night.
04P 03 24.00 NS

During the night I woke up several times. I was restless, but also very hot and thirsty for water.
06P 01 XX.XX NS

I woke up several times that night - approx. at 2.30 a.m., 5 a.m. and 6.30 a.m.
06P 02 XX.XX NS

I did not sleep well. I woke up at 4 am and couldn't sleep afterwards.
06P 04 04.00 NS

I woke up at 4.30 - 5 a.m., was awake for half an hour, but this time fell asleep again.
06P 05 04.30 NS

I woke up at about 4 a.m. I couldn't sleep (unusual for me). I had so much phlegm in my throat that I kept coughing. The cold air seemed to make it worse. Eventually I got up and feeling hungry, decided to have a snack (no desires). I went back to bed after a few minutes and fell asleep again.
06P 21 04.00 NS

Had a very restless night, slept right through but felt as if I wasn't in a deep sleep.
08P 07 XX.XX NS

I was very hot in the night & had another night feeling restless & as if I had not gone into a deep sleep
08P 08 XX.XX NS

I think I slept for a couple of hours, then woke in the early hours. I had a sensation that I was about to fall out of bed because I thought I was lying too close to the edge. I lay awake for hours but my thoughts were hazy. I remember thinking about spiders, wondering if there were any in the room (I'm normally afraid of spiders & I had thought earlier that the B&B house must be full of them this time of year). I felt hot and lay on top of the duvet. Went to open the window but it was already open. Felt thirsty & drank a glass of water.
10P 01 XX.XX NS

Slept badly until about 3.00am, kept waking for pee, concerned about 15 yr old son who had come in drunk last night (first time) so this may also have stopped me sleeping well. Checked him out several times, but have slept well other times when I have been worried about children being ill.
12P 05 XX.XX NS

Suddenly became very sleepy and tired and wanted to go to bed tho I usually hate going to bed during the day however tired I am. Gone an hour later.
12P 06 15.30 NS

Restless cannot sleep. feeling tense. Lying on front with fists clenched pressing into neck, can't let go to go to sleep.
13P 02 XX.XX NS

Felt overheated all night, throwing covers off. Slept fitfully. I woke three or four times during the night. Worried about spiders. Though I kept waking and drinking water (do not normally drink water during night) and going to the loo (only once) I fell back to sleep easily and was unworried. Every time I woke up through the night I was hearing over and over the song "Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right - here I am - Stuck in the middle with you."
14P 02 XX.XX NS

Had a full nights sleep. Slept very heavily. Woke very disorientated and swimming in the head. Not easy to stand and co-ordinated at all for 5 to 10mins. Stumbling and falling over. Extremely tired. A bit headachy. Pains, dull, behind the eyes.
14P 07 XX.XX NS

Left to sleep and eventually woke because the phone rang after 12 hours sleep! Heavy sleep. Vivid confused dreams. Images of people tumbling over one another. Journeying. Something sexual. Feeling much better for the long sleep.
14P 08 XX.XX NS

Cannot sleep because my mind is filled with horrible, dark thoughts. Like people being tortured. I find these thoughts stay with me the next day.
15P 16 XX.XX OS

Cannot sleep because my right eye does not seem to be shutting. I have to open it and close it to make sure it's shut.
15P 24 XX.XX NS

It has been very difficult to get up in the morning have also felt very tired in the mid afternoon.
22P 00 XX.XX NS

Sleep has been heavier and longer. But the last few days have been staying up very late even though tired, don't want to go to bed.
22P 27 XX.XX NS

Skin feels greasy, as I don't slip in the bath like normal, I cant seem to wash grease off.
01P 02 23.30 NS

Brown stain on skin as if nicotine or coffee on skin. Can't determine if smell burnt toast or Camp coffee. I think that had chicory in it.
01P 03 XX.XX NS

I have very very itchy eczema on my forearms which it scratch constantly.
11P 25 XX.XX OS

Itching left side and round to back, under bra and below this line - found myself scratching absently while reading paper. Thought I could feel some bumps in skin but no sign of rash or eruptions according to partner. Itching not better for scratching - probably worse and changing places - scratching brought relief only while actually scratching in that place.
12P 07 21.15 NS

Bath feels not hot enough. Suddenly itching inner thighs, both sides, have to scratch big red weltsappear, Better for getting out of the water, Quickly disappeared.
13P 03 XX.XX NS

Feeling of heat and eruptions of heat spots on neck and face. Raised white spots within a round red rash of little spots.
13P 13 XX.XX NS

I have a very unpleasantly greasy skin. I have phases of getting greasy skin when menses due but this isn't the case at the moment. The greasiness feels sticky and when I wipe my face with my hand my fingers feel sticky and I can't get rid of it. It feels slimy and sticky and I react to it with disgust.
14P 05 XX.XX NS

Voluptuous itching leading to rubbing and scratching without relief.
21P 00 XX.XX IOS

Armpits terribly itchy, red and cracked. Scratching at them until they are raw. Eyelids and perineum still very itchy and sore.
22P 18 XX.XX NS

My armpits have not been sweating since the evening we started the proving. I'm normally pretty stinky and have to wear a deodorant but I haven't been using one all week.
10P 07 XX.XX NS

I have been waking up sweaty - most noticeably there is sweat each morning on the back of my neck.
11P 04 XX.XX NS

Hot flush radiating outwards to extremities. Commencing just above the umbilicus. Hands cold, felt shaky as if I had been sick.
01P 02 23.00 NS

At night in bed looking for cool places to lie as I get very warm. Seems to go away by early morning when I am cold again.
01P 10 XX.XX NS

Note that I am very hot at times; convinced that I a m having what they call "hot flushes" Not impressed at all that this remedy may have started these symptoms. But they seem to be happening regularly enough to now be common practice. I seem to be more aware of them waking me up 3-4 times a night. May be only an occasional one in the morning prior to midday. It seems to be just that I feel warm not that it affects my head or face but just a sense of extra heating my body an I have desire to open a window or take my clothes of. I would think it last no more than 30 seconds.
01P 13 XX.XX NS

Normally at this time of year I am always cold in bed, but since taking the remedy I have found that I am generally warmer than unusual, I am not in the least bit cold in bed. In fact I often fid that I am searching for the cool places in the bed, I think this tends to be more in the early hours of the morning.
01P 44 XX.XX NS

Really hot all evening - clammy, sweaty - I'm not usually a warm or sweaty person.
03P 01 XX.XX NS

General sensation of heat, esp. palms which are very hot and sweaty.
04P 01 19.00 NS

Extremely hot overnight, window wide open [need fresh air] & limbs uncovered to keep cool - it's October! Thirst increased with internal heat.
04P 01 XX.XX NS

The sweaty heat, which seems to come in flushes all over my body still occurs, especially after just a little exertion.
06P 00 XX.XX NS

I felt very hot: flushes of heat throughout my body but especially hot in the top half of my body.
06P 01 19.00 NS

Felt very hot all night as if the heating had been left on, this was my experience when I had glandular fever.
08P 02 XX.XX OS

I was cold all day today & the only thing that made me warm up for a short while was to eat - this lead to me eating little snacks all day long.
08P 10 XX.XX NS

Palms clammy, fingers externally cold. Calves felt externally cold. Ankles externally cold. Inside edge of feet felt externally cold.
10P 01 18.45 NS

Left foot suddenly very itchy underneath in middle of sole, also sensation of heat. Foot still itching waves of itching and rising heat from chest to back of head.
13P 01 XX.XX NS

Had recurring hot flushes throughout the evening. Flushes lasted a few minutes each time. Every time I walked anywhere, ate dinner or made any physical effort or went from one place to another where it was slightly warmer I felt burning hot, particularly in the head and face. Face: sweat particularly forehead.
14P 01 XX.XX NS

During the day at college my temperature evened up a bit but as soon as we started to travel back I had hot flushes every time I moved to somewhere slightly warmer or made physical
14P 02 XX.XX NS

Generals

Go out for bike ride, cycling foot comes out of clip, and getting caught in chain and wheel, so painful almost pass out.
01P 22 XX.XX NS

Slip in shower bruise right shin, and soft tissue around vaginal area. Now beginning to get concerned that accidents are occurring. So take thing very carefully.
01P 23 XX.XX NS

Woke up feeling heavy and muzzy, as if I had been drinking or had slept heavily. Had felt heavy, headachy all over my head, usually my headaches are quite specific in location and always the same.
05P 02 06.00 NS

Had difficulty walking upstairs, it took a huge amount of effort. My whole body felt weighed down.
05P 08 XX.XX NS

In the groin on my left leg I had the tiny remnant of some stitches I had about 20 years ago. It came out.
05P 10 XX.XX NS

I felt very tired and heavy. It was still an effort to do anything. My head felt thick and later this changed to a headache, which started behind my eyes. My throat felt slightly sore. Was I developing flu-like symptoms? It was difficult concentrating.
06P 03 XX.XX NS

I asked my husband if l smelt different in the last few days. He said you smell like curry.
06P 06 XX.XX NS

There was a great tiredness. I felt very lethargic and still stiff.
06P 11 XX.XX NS

I couldn't stand the thought of another bad night's sleep; so I took Kali carb 200c for the pins and needles before going to sleep. It worked. I had a good night's sleep and felt great in the morning.
06P 51 XX.XX NS

Very tired when I woke up & did not want to get out of bed (this is unusual for me).
08P 04 XX.XX NS

Felt as if in the morning I had a head cold or a hangover - very fuzzy sensation.
11P 02 XX.XX NS

Cold like symptoms - sneezing twice with a runny nose, worse for a draught.
11P 19 XX.XX NS

Constant scratching and itching and constant sneezing. Today I had itchy eyes which went to my mouth and throat - like a slightly inhaled burnt acrid something.
11P 28 XX.XX NS

Flushes of heat rising from solar plexus region, can feel my heart beating strong and slow.
13P 01 XX.XX NS

Sensation as if I have two hearts, one around my navel, fluttering/beating/pulsing with gentle radiating shiver that runs through genitals, thighs, knees, legs, feet, altogether a nice feeling, but odd!
13P 30 23.30 NS

Excited feeling. Heart palpitations. Tightness in the chest. Tingling in the hands and down the outside of the arms. Tingling and rushy feelings lasted until eating at 21.00.
14P 01 19.00 NS

Felt whole head and body aching as if I was getting flu. Cold symptoms coming out. Bunged up with cold in the nose. Spent the morning in bed. Weeping eyes, sore. Running nose. Sneezing. Little thirst. No appetite.
14P 04 XX.XX IOS

I am too weary to concentrate though the cold symptoms have gone again.. A real bone weary feeling. A mixture of the aches before going down with flu and the intense fatigue one feels after a bad illness. Any physical movement seems to be the most hard work. Complete exhaustion on climbing steps. If I had the energy I could cry with the effort. Thinking and moving is torturous. Desperate desire to be alone and home and still and quiet. I want to stop 14P 05 XX.XX NS

It seems I have a cold, ears painfully sensitive to loud noise, throat sore and hideous taste and breath.
15P 33 XX.XX NS

Feel overpoweringly weak must sit down better for sitting in the car for an hour.
15P 37 XX.XX NS

Took a split dose of Nuphar 200c to antidote. (Indicated on yellow diarrhoea at 4 in the morning, itching rash on scrotum and perineum and numbness of libido.)
22P 00 XX.XX NS

Feel need to clarify numbness symptom as it is central to my experience of the remedy. Usually on waking, but also sometimes sitting, I have feeling of numbness arising out of the fact that I am lying heavily on one part. There is no tingling or pins and needles, which would be normal for me in the circumstances, and there is definitely no pain, but it does feel bad. I know that I should move but I do not, I stay immobilised. It is not actual paralysis and it is not can't be bothered it is actual there is no volition or impulse to put the thought that I should move into action. The same feeling pervades many different things. I have been taking extremely long baths, it is because I don't get out not because I can't or won't but just because I don't. Sleep is similar I have been sleeping long and deep just because I don't stop and I stay up late because I don't go to bed. Eating I might not start for a long time and then when I start I don't stop. The same feeling is felt mentally and emotionally. About sex and about business affairs. I can feel them in a funny sort of way though the numbing is there I know that they are there but I don't have the volition to do anything, to act in any way.
22P 00 XX.XX NS

Have had a lot of numbness. Often it is in the parts that I am lying on but there is no motivation or desire to move. Just stay in one position and it gets even worse.
22P 28 XX.XX NS

Sensations

I had this sense of heaviness, as if something very heavy was pressing or pushing me downwards from the crown of my head. It was a real effort to move.
06P 01 19.00 NS

The ends of my fingertips felt numb again, but also highly sensitive. Even my tongue feels sensitive as I move it over my gums and teeth.
06P 22 XX.XX NS

On arriving home I had the sensation of tiny drops of water falling on me. I felt it 3 times. I live in a flat and I was inside the building.
10P 10 17.00 NS

On going to bed (lying on left side) pleasurable feeling in my body like being totally relaxed floating on the sea, my head does not really seem to move but the rest of my body feels like it is undulating, twisting, like a floppy rag doll floating on the waves (not actually moving). This is very weird but relaxing, stops when my partner coughs in bed and I roll over.
15P 25 24.00 NS

Relationships

Sensorium	Head	Sight and eyes	Hearing and ears
Smell and nose	Face	Teeth and gums	Taste and tongue
Inner Mouth	Throat	Appetite, thirst and desires
Belching, nausea and vomiting		Scrobiculum and stomach
Abdomen	Rectum and stool		Urinary organs
Male sexual organs	Female sexual organs		Voice and larynx
Respiration	Cough	Inner chest and lungs
Heart, pulse and circulation		Outer chest	Neck and back
Upper limbs	Lower limbs	Fingernails	Sleep
Skin	Perspiration	Temperature and weather
Generals	Sensations	Relationships

Cosy and Cocooned		Calm
Restricted	Claustrophobic	Bubbles	Separation
Disconnected from People	Difficulties with Communication	Disconnected from Feelings	Unfeeling
Ruthless	Selfish	Sex & Birth & Death	Steriity
Disconnected from Self	Distortion	Invisible	Disconnected from Events
Moving with the Flow	Violence	Shock and Paralysis	Safe
Brave	Reckless	Focussed	Running on
Lacking Boundaries	Vulnerable	Suspicious	Attacked
Sensitive	Irritable	Shame & Guilt	Clairvoyance
Lacking Concentration	Confused	Clumsy	Out of Control

Vulcanized Rubber

The Homœopathic Proving of